Mark Manson

Popular blogger Mark Manson argues that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited. There are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault. Manson encourages us to get to know our limitations and accept them, arguing that the only way to begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek is to stop avoiding and start confronting painful truths.

a counterintuitive approach to living a good life

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Eylon gil

In the long run, completing a marathon makes us hap- er than eating a chocolate cake. Raising a child makes us happier than beating a video game. Starting a small Lonciness with friends while struggling to make ends meet makes us happier than buying a new computer. These activities are stressful, arduous, and often unpleasant. They also require with standing problem after problem. Yet they are somne of the most meaningful moments and joyous things we'll ever do. They involve pain, struggle, even anger and despair--yet once they're accomplished, we look back and get all misty-eyed telling our grandkids about them. As Freud once said, "One day, in retrospect, the years of truggle will strike you as the most beautiful."

As Freud once said, "One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful"

Who you are is defined by what you're willing to strug- gle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who run triathlons and have chiseled abs and can bench- press a small house. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.ols S This is not about willpower or grit. This is not another admonishment of "no pain, no gain." This is the most sim- ple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better slightly uDgraded problems

The only thing that matters is, what are you going to leave behind, forget about all the superficial attention. Focus on your legacy 

Confronting the reality of our Own mortality is important because it obliterates all the crappy, fragile, superficial val- ues in life. While most people whittle their days chasing another buck, or a little bit more fame and attention, or a little bit more assurance that they're right or loved, death confronts all of us witha far more painful and important question: What is your legacy? How will the world be different and better when you're gone? What mark will you have made? What influence will you have caused? They say that a butterfly flapping its wings in Africa can cause a hurricane in Florida; well, what hurri- canes will you leave in your wake? As Becker pointed out, this is arguably the only truly im- portant question in our lite. Yet we avoid thinking about it. One because it's hard. Two, because itť's scary. Three, be- iesic And when we avoid this question, we let trivial and hate- 6ul values hijack our brains and take control of our desires cause we have no fucking clue what           We are doinf

And when we avoid this question we let trivial and hateful values hijack our brains and take control of our values and ambitions, the superficial will apper important

Commitment and persistence is where you will find what you want,  no fear

highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of suc- cess than you otherwise would. 

In this way, the rejection of alternatives liberates us- rejection of what does not align with our most important values, with our chosen metrics, rejection of the constant pursuit of breadth without depth. Yes, breadth of experience is likely necessary and desir- able when you're young-after all, you have to go out there and discover what seems worth investing yourself in. But depth is where the gold is buried. 

And you have to stay com- mitted to something and go deep to dig it up. That's true in relationships, in a career, in building a great lifestyle-in everything.

Commitment gives you freedom because you're no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your at- tention and focus, directing them toward what is most eff- cient at making you healthy and happy. 

Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing that what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few

There is another note of that in the same page 

The big story for me personally over the past few yeare has been my ability to open myself up to commitment, P've chosen to reject all but the very best people and experiences and values in my life. 

I shut down all my business projects and decided to focus on writing full-time. Since then, my website has become more popular than I'd ever imagined possible

 I've committed to one woman for the long haul and, to my surprise, have found this more rewarding than any of the flings, trysts, and one-night stands I had in the past. I've committed to a single geographic location and doubled down on the handful of my significant, genuine, healthy friendships. 

And what I've discovered is something entirely coun- terintuitive: that there is a freedom and liberation in com- mitment. I've found increased opportunity and upside in rejecting alternatives and distractions in favor of what I've chosen to let truly matter to me. Commitment gives you freedom because youre no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your at-

But more is not always better. ln tact, the opposite i true. We are actually often happier with less. When we re overloaded with opportunities and options, we suffer from what psychologists refer to as the paradox of choice Basically, the more options we're given, the less satisied we become with whatever we choose, because we're aware of all the other options we're potentially forfeiting. So if you have a choice between two places to live and pick one, you'll likely feel confident and comfortable that you made the right choice. You'll be satisfied with your decision. But if you have a choice among twenty-eight places to live and pick one, the paradox of choice says that you'll likely spend years agonizing, doubting, and second-guessing yourself, wondering if you really made the "right" choice, and if youre truly maximizing your own happiness. And this anxiety, this desire for certainty and perfection and suc- cess, will make you unhappy.

 There's a certain level of joy and meaning that you reach in life only when you've spent decades investing in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career. And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without reject- ing the alternatives. The act of choosing a value for yourself requires reject-

Learn to sustain the pain you ve Chosen. wheh you choose a new value, you are choosing to introduce a new form of pain into your life. Relish it. Savor it. Welcome it with open arms. Then act despite it. Wn nen I won't lie: this is going to feel impossibly hard at first. But you can start simple. You're going to feel as though you don't know what to do. But we've discussed this: you don't know anything. Even when you think you do, you really don't know what the fuck you're doing. So really, what is there to lose?

You cant be an icon without being an embarrassment to othera

In return. Because here's another sneaky little truth about life. You can't be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others. You just can't. Because there's no such thing as a lack of adversity. It doesn't exist. The old saying goes that no matter where you go, there you are. Well, the same is true for adversity and failure. No matter where you go, there's a five-hundred-pound load of shit waiting for you. And that's perfectly fine. The point isn't to get away from the shit. The Point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with  enjoying dealing with.

If we follow the "do something" principle, failure feels unimportant. When the standard of success becomes merely acting-when any result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite-we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail, and that failure moves us forward. ns The "do something" principle not only helps us over- come procrastination, but it's also the process by which we adopt new values. If you're in the midst of an existen- tial shitstorm and everything feels meaningless just do something, 

 If you lack the motivation to make an important change in your life, do something-anything, really--and then harness the reaction to that action as a way to begin motivating yourself. 

I call this the do something" principle. After using it myself to build my business, 

I quickley learned though that forcing myself to do something, even the most menial task, quicklry made the larger task easier

WhenI was in high school, my math teacher Mr. Packwood used to say, "If you're stuck on a problem, dont SIt there and think about it: just start working on it. Even if you don't know what you're doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head."

Life is about now knowing and doing it anyway

Life is about not knowing and then doing something anyway 

. All of life is like this. It never changes. Even when vou're happy. Even when youre farting fairy dust. Even when you win the lottery and buy a small fleet of Jet Skis, you still won't know what the hell you're doing. Don't ever forget that. And don't ever be afraid of that. sa

failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you've failed at something. If someone is better than you at something, then it's likely because she has failed at it more than you have. If someone is worse than yoy it’s likely cuz he hasn’t been through all of the painful learning experiences you have, than you,

The pathless path, save a bit and go, ssm sltman guard, 

I asked myself a simple question: "Would I rather make decent money and work a job I hated, or play at Internet entrepreneur and be broke for a while?" The answer was immediate and clear for me: the latter. I then asked myselt, "IfI try this thing and fail in a few years and have to go get a job anyway, will I have really lost anything?" The answer was no. Instead of a broke and unemployed twenty-two- year-old with no experience, I'd be a broke and unemployed twenty-five-year-old with no experience. Who cares?

 With this value, to not pursue my own projects became the failure , not a lack of money, not sleeping on friends' and family's couches (which I continued to do for most of the next two years), and not an empty résumé. ol

So why not try? Failing early was better than finding a job first

So yeah, lucky. When you're sleeping on a smelly futon and have to count coins to figure out whether you can af- ford McDonald's this week and you've sent out twenty ré- sumés without hearing a single word back, then starting a blog and a stupid Internet business doesn't sound like such a scary idea. If every project I started failed, if every post I Wrote went unread, I'd only be back exactly where I started. So why not try? 

Failure itself is a relative concept. If my metric had been to become an anarcho-communist revolutionary, then my complete failure to make any money between 2007 and 2008 would have been a raving success. But if, like most people, my metric had been to simply find a first serious job that could pay some bills right out of school, I was a dismal failure 

i have both some good news and some bad news for you: there is little that is unique or special about your problems. 

That's why letting go is so liberating. There's a kind of self-absorption that comes with fear based on an irrational certainty. When you assume that your plane is the one that's going to crash, or that your project idea is the stupid one everyone is going to laugh at, or that youre the one everyone is going to choose to mock or ignore, you're implicitly telling yourself, "Tm the exception; I'm unlike everybody else; I'm different and special.

 This is narcissism, pure and simple. You feel as though your problems deserve to be treated differently, that your problems have some unique math to them that doesn't obey the laws of the physical universe.

When we let go how we think of ourselves we free ourselves to act and grow

When we let go of the stories we tell about ourselves, to ourselves, we free ourselves up to actually act (and fail) and grow. 

When someone admits to herself, "You know, maybe I'm not good at relationships," then she is suddenly free to act and end her bad marriage. She has no identity to protect by staying in a miserable, crappy marriage just to prove some- thing to herself. Oiteabi9

We all have values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and maintain them, Even if we don't mean to, that's how our brain is wired.

 As noted before, we're unfairly biased toward what we already know, what we believe to be certain. If I believe I'm a nice guy, I'l avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'm an awesome cook, I'll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over and over again. The belief always takes precedence. 

Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety. We cannot thin change.

I'm In this way, "knowing yourself or finding yourself" be can be dangerous. It can cement you into a strict role and saddle you with unnecessary expectations, it can close you off to inner potential and outer opportunities 

Most of our beliefs are wrong, infact all of them are wrong, some are just less wrong than others

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

To be so honest not memorable enough and idk if I carried any of the advice with me and gives very much like business mogul writes book

Angeleeka

I found the examples in this book to be a lot. Also, I get that this is meant to give folks some sort of insight into what may be right from wrong but you gotta consider the gender aspect of it all too. 

be’, tu che uragani lascerai dentro di te?

sabiduría 

Think I would’ve liked it more as not an audiobook

Taylor Christine

Paoovi

Mina

I am being generous with the rating. I like the general idea but not a fan of his sexist examples.

Pratik M

I picked this book up on a lark after seeing it on the bestselling list at the bookstore. I admit that the first few chapters are engrossing and even make sense. It is, at best, an extended version of the serenity prayer i.e. focus on the things you can change and ignore the ones you can't. There are definitely some lessons in there that many of us need to be reminded about but nothing that can't be said in a longish blog post. The latter half of the book simply drags on and focuses mostly on the author's personal life and his life-coach blogging.

I would recommend reading the first 2-3 chapters of the book in couple of hours and then tossing it aside.

Liyah 🤎

If someone gave me this book in SparkNotes form I think I would really like it. He makes great general points but I think his actual writing style and how he chooses to frame his analysis is not for me. 
1. This is the first book I've read in a while by a white male author so the tone is almost jarring for me. 
2. He's too hyperbolic for me and uses language imprecisely in a way that really bugs me. This may come from his style of blog writing though
3. He draws false equivalences like comparing not wanting people to wear offensive costumes to people being upset about the war on Christmas.... those two issues are not the same and even though in 2016 we didn't think about anti-racism the way we do now that's still a tone-deaf take even for its time 

The next few points I want to acknowledge that this book was written in 2016 and so I understand that we didn't talk or think like this yet but still I can only judge it as the reader I am today in 2021.

4. This book is really written on an individual level and doesn't do enough to consider systemic barriers people face and sometimes slip into being a little bootstrappy. Just a simple acknowledgment of racism or sexism would've been enough to a least frame his argument fairly. 
5. I don't like the diet culture. He compares things like bad values to junk food a lot and I am not one for moralizing food. 

All in all, great tips but I probably wouldn't liked it better if it was written by an author with a different tone. I'd be curious to see if the writer feels differently about his analysis and examples since as a society we've grown a bit since 2016.

saturn

mark manson speaking DIRECTLY to you is the most beneficial thing out of this book. he literally calls you out on your shit WHILE YOU’RE DOING IT & it’s so humorous. i enjoyed the read and it really is a good self improvement book take it seriously don’t take it seriously, honestly he won’t give a fuck. i recommend this book to those that think too much

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a -

I did not enjoy the amount of expletives in the book. 

Waahida Mansion

Elisavet Rozaki 

Perfect for people who worry about everything!

For all the hype this book gets, it's totally deserved! There were many moments while listening to this book where I paused and reflected on myself. It's pretty deep, yet easy to grasp at the same time. 

I'm docking it a star because there are some moments that make my feminist heart and mind not too happy, but overall, a good book for some self-reflection. 

Paige Leitner

For all the hype this book gets, it's totally deserved! There were many moments while listening to this book where I paused and reflected on myself. It's pretty deep, yet easy to grasp at the same time. 

I'm docking it a star because there are some moments that make my feminist heart and mind not too happy, but overall, a good book for some self-reflection. 

Durante los últimos años, Mark Manson -en su popular blog- se ha afanado en corregir nuestras delirantes expectativas sobre nosotros mismos y el mundo. Ahora nos ofrece su toda su intrépida sabiduría en este libro pionero. Manson nos recuerda que los seres humanos somos falibles y limitados: "no todos podemos ser extraordinarios: hay ganadores y perdedores en la sociedad, y esto no siempre es justo o es tu culpa". Manson nos aconseja que reconozcamos nuestras limitaciones y las aceptemos. Esto es, según él, el verdadero origen del empoderamiento. Una vez que abrazamos nuestros temores, faltas e incertidumbres, una vez que dejamos de huir y evadir y empezamos a confrontar las verdades dolorosas, podemos comenzar a encontrar el valor, la perseverancia, la honestidad, la responsabilidad, la curiosidad y el perdón que buscamos. Este manifiesto es una refrescante bofetada, para que podamos empezar a llevar vidas más satisfechas y con los pies en la tierra.

Un enfoque disruptivo para vivir una buena vida

El sutil arte de que te importe un caraj*

Rebeca Keren Nuñez

"El Sutil Arte de Que Te Importe un Carajo" de Mark Manson es una obra provocadora que desafía convenciones y ofrece una perspectiva refrescante sobre la vida y la felicidad. Contrariamente a la cultura moderna que promueve la positividad incesante, Manson abraza la realidad de que no podemos evitar todos los problemas y adversidades en la vida.

El autor argumenta que nuestra atención es un recurso limitado y valioso, y debemos elegir cuidadosamente en qué invertimos. Manson desmantela la toxicidad de perseguir constantemente la felicidad y el éxito superficial, alentando a los lectores a enfocarse en lo que realmente importa. A través de anécdotas personales y ejemplos impactantes, el libro desafía las nociones convencionales de autoayuda.

La escritura de Manson es directa, con un toque de irreverencia y humor que engancha al lector. Su estilo accesible y lenguaje sin rodeos hacen que las ideas complejas sean fáciles de entender. A lo largo del libro, Manson presenta principios fundamentales para vivir una vida más auténtica, destacando la importancia de los valores personales y la aceptación de la realidad.

"El Sutil Arte de Que Te Importe un Carajo" no solo ofrece consejos prácticos, sino que también desafía a los lectores a cuestionar sus propias creencias y prioridades. Manson aboga por un enfoque más realista y honesto hacia la vida, alentando a las personas a abrazar sus limitaciones y a encontrar significado en las luchas diarias.

En resumen, este libro es una invitación a reevaluar nuestras prioridades, a soltar las expectativas irracionales y a abrazar la verdadera autenticidad. Con su enfoque directo y perspicacia única, Mark Manson ha creado una obra que resuena con aquellos que buscan una perspectiva diferente sobre la búsqueda de la felicidad y el significado en la vida.

David Mokos

William Buller

Might be a useful and great experience for people who also enjoy spin classes. There are some ideas that help re-frame the concept of apathy vs. not giving a fuck but are ultimately kneecapped by the author's palpable background as a dating coach and confessions like "I grew up well-off and chose poverty so I can be free and become my own boss". Cool.

Sebuah Seni untuk Bersikap Bodo Amat

ryan

Tadi pagi membaca ulang buku ini, ditulis dgn gaya bahasa yg lumayan enak diikuti membuatku ngga sadar udah satu jam lewat. banyak kalimat yg bikin membuka mata. tapi di saat itulah aku kemudian sadar dan teringat kesan yg kupunya tentang buku ini setahun atau dua tahun lalu: ngelantur.

Iya. Mula2 aku cukup sepakat dgn poin2 yg disampaikan. Ada titik di mana aku ngerasa wah ini sih stoik. Makin jauh dibaca pembahasannya makin kesana kemari. Seperti tulisan yg mestinya selesai satu atau dua bab saja tapi dipanjang2kan. 

Abis baca aku jd tambah pusing. Dan semakin yakin apa yg kubaca barusan cuma fafifu menjelang subuh. Mulanya kamu merasa "wa asik ni ada benernya." Lalu merasa "oke." Kemudian "hmm.. apa iya." "Loh, kok." 

hmm oke deh..

JoAnna

The more I read this book, the more I realized how ignorant the author really was of his own privilege as a white American male. He dismisses the anger of people of color as millennial entitlement, which trivializes the importance of calling out oppression as we see it. Worse, he's unaware of the luck that comes with his good life: he tries to pass off his own successes as something simple to be replicated (quitting his job in finance after 6 weeks to launch a successful business)—the very same thing he condemns celebrities for doing.

Brenna Rutherford

Took a few pages to get me into the story, but after reading it and marking lines i found interesting i kept reading. Good insights with simpel examples on life, love and people around you. What to keep and what not to keep, and how to get an approach on life with less stress and more relief. 

Suryani

Jieun Lee

this book spoke to me in a way no other has ever! 

Drew Santiago

Doris Ivandic 

Hilarious, while still teaching valuable lessons needed in life. The author is truthful, and shows you that you can choose what you want to care about and what is valuable to you.

This book single-handedly ruined the self help genre and spawned an epidemic of clones. There is nothing in here if you have ever introspected for more than 10 minutes.

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck a counterintuitive approach to living a good life

Reviews

Highlights