Andrew Shaffer

The Office meets Stephen King, dressed up in holiday tinsel, in this fun, festive, and frightening horror-comedy set during the horror publishing boom of the '80s, by New York Times best-selling satirist Andrew Shaffer. Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn't the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It's the '80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre. But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her co-workers' mean-spirited pranks. The hazing reaches its peak during the company's annual Secret Santa gift exchange, when Lussi receives a demonic-looking object that she recognizes but doesn't understand. Suddenly, her coworkers begin falling victim to a series of horrific accidents akin to a George Romero movie, and Lussi suspects that her gift is involved. With the help of her former author, the flamboyant Fabien Nightingale, Lussi must track down her anonymous Secret Santa and figure out the true meaning of the cursed object in her possession before it destroys the company--and her soul.

Secret Santa

The New York Times Best Seller "[Hope Never Dies is] an escapist fantasy that will likely appeal to liberals pining for the previous administration, longing for the Obama-Biden team to emerge from political retirement as action heroes."—Alexandra Alter, New York Times Vice President Joe Biden and President Barack Obama team up in this high-stakes thriller that combines a mystery worthy of Watson and Holmes with the laugh-out-loud bromantic chemistry of Lethal Weapon’s Murtaugh and Riggs. Vice President Joe Biden is fresh out of the Obama White House and feeling adrift when his favorite railroad conductor dies in a suspicious accident, leaving behind an ailing wife and a trail of clues. To unravel the mystery, “Amtrak Joe” re-teams with the only man he’s ever fully trusted: the 44th president of the United States. Together they’ll plumb the darkest corners of Delaware, traveling from cheap motels to biker bars and beyond, as they uncover the sinister forces advancing America’s opioid epidemic. Part noir thriller and part bromance, Hope Never Dies is essentially the first published work of Obama/Biden fiction—and a cathartic read for anyone distressed by the current state of affairs.

An Obama Biden Mystery

Hope Never Dies

Lisa Desrochers

Hannah Moskowitz

Julie Cross

Molly McAdams

J. Lynn

Melissa Landers

Tracy Wolff

Gennifer Albin

Sophie Jordan

Carrie Ryan

Roni Loren

Lauren Layne

Melissa West

Cole Gibsen

Lyla Payne

Myra McEntire

Mark Perini

Alessandra Thomas

For New Adult and Young Adult fans, nineteen stories … fifty unforgettable experiences. Nineteen fabulous tales of first kisses, first loves, first … everythings. With stories from Jennifer L. Armentrout writing as J. Lynn, Sophia Bleu, Lisa Desrochers, Cole Gibsen, A. L. Jackson, Sophie Jordan, Melissa Landers, Lauren Layne, Roni Loren, Molly McAdams, Myra McEntire, Hannah Moskowitz, Lyla Payne, Mark Perini, Carrie Ryan, Andrew Shaffer, Alessandra Thomas, and Tracy Wolff. All compiled by Julie Cross.

A New Adult Anthology

Fifty First Times

For fans of SNL'S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer.

Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat)

Following a successful but exhausting book tour, Joe Biden is looking forward to returning home. However, before he does, he's got one last stop to make- Chicago, where the Obama Foundation is holding its first annual global economics forum. Barack Obama has invited Joe to meet a wealthy left-leaning philanthropist, whose deep pockets Joe will need if he decides to run for president. Joe isn't even sure if wants to run...but he's not going to pass up a rare chance to reconnect with his one-time governing mate. Joe and Obama barely have time to catch up before another mystery lands in their laps- Obama's prized Blackberry is stolen. When the suspect turns up comatose from a gunshot wound, local police are content with writing it off as just another gangland shooting. But Joe and Obama smell a rat. In a race to find the shooter, Joe and Obama butt heads with their former compadre, Mayor Rahm Emanuel; follow a trail of clues through Chicago's South Side; go undercover inside a Prohibition-era speakeasy; and scale the Tribune Tower in a Die Hard-worthy final set-piece. Robert Frost said "the woods are dreary, dark, and deep." So are the waters of Lake Michigan...and if Joe and Obama aren't careful, that's where they could wind up spending their retirement.

Hope Rides Again

A Bernie Sanders Mystery

Feel the Bern

"Vice President Joe Biden is fresh out of the Obama White House and feeling adrift when his favorite railroad conductor dies in a suspicious accident, leaving behind an ailing wife and a trail of clues. To unravel the mystery, "Amtrak Joe" re-teams with the only man he's ever fully trusted--the 44th president of the United States. Together they'll plumb the darkest corners of Delaware, traveling from cheap motels to biker bars and beyond, as they uncover the sinister forces advancing America's opioid epidemic. Part noir thriller and part bromance novel, Hope Never Dies is essentially the first published work of Obama/Biden fanfiction--and a cathartic read for anyone distressed by the current state of affairs."--Amazon.com.

a novel

Hope never dies

A Wildly Funny and Shockingly True Compendium of the Bad Boys (and Girls) of Western Literature Rock stars, rappers, and actors haven't always had a monopoly on misbehaving. There was a time when authors fought with both words and fists, a time when poets were the ones living fast and dying young. This witty, insightful, and wildly entertaining narrative profiles the literary greats who wrote generation-defining classics such as The Great Gatsby and On the Road while living and loving like hedonistic rock icons, who were as likely to go on epic benders as they were to hit the bestseller lists. Literary Rogues turns back the clock to consider these historical (and, in some cases, living) legends, including Edgar Allan Poe, Oscar Wilde, Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Dorothy Parker, Hunter S. Thompson, and Bret Easton Ellis. Brimming with fasci- nating research, Literary Rogues is part nostalgia, part literary analysis, and a wholly raucous celebration of brilliant writers and their occasionally troubled legacies.

A Scandalous History of Wayward Authors

Literary Rogues

Erin Gilbert

Abby L. Yates

As seen in the Sony Pictures 2016 film Ghostbusters, the ultimate guide to identifying, understanding, and engaging with any paranormal activity that plagues you Years before they made headlines with the Ghostbusters, Erin Gilbert and Abby L. Yates published the groundbreaking study of the paranormal, Ghosts from Our Past. Once lost to history, this criminally underappreciated book is now updated for the new century. According to Gilbert and Yates, “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence,” and whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, you’ll find the information you’re seeking right here in this extraordinary book, including: • The childhood experiences that inspired Erin and Abby’s lifelong passion for the scientific study of the paranormal • The history of ghosts and other supernatural entities, the science that explains their existence, and profiles of the groundbreaking paranormal researchers who have investigated them • An illustrated guide to Class I through Class VII ghosts • Helpful sidebars like “A Ghost by Any Other Name” and “Ectoplasm Cleanup Tips” • Updates including “The Ghostbusters’ Arsenal” by Jillian Holtzmann and “Haunted History” by Patty Tolan • A new Ghostbusting Resources appendix, featuring the “Paranormal Quickstart Guide”, “Is It a Ghost? A Handy Quiz”, “A Supernatural Stakeout Journal”, “The Devil’s Dictionary: Paraterminology You Need to Know” With this helpful—and hilarious—official Ghostbusters guide in hand, you’ll be prepared for almost any spirit, spook, or spectre that comes your way. As for the rest, you know who to call.

Both Literally and Figuratively: The Study of the Paranormal

Ghosts from Our Past

Even the most jaded of Hot Topic clerks will crack a smile at this morbidly funny joke book compiled by New York Times bestselling humorist and low-key goth Andrew Shaffer.This illustrated collection is perfect for Halloween-or anytime, really, since true goths know that every day is Halloween.

Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside

Oh My Goth

"In the apocalyptic world we live in, Mother Nature is angry. Danger waits at every turn, and catastrophes like the Los Angeles sharknados have taught us that we need to be ready for anything ... But fear not. [This book] is the first and only comprehensive guide to surviving the very worst that Mother Nature can throw our way. Inside this life-saving reference, youll find vital information about dozens of unnatural disasters and ungodly monsters that can injure, maim, or kill you, from arachnoquakes and ice twisters to piranhacondas and mega pythons"--Page 4 of cover.

Fight Back when Monsters and Mother Nature Attack

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters

"Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)" is the sophomore poetry collection from New York Times bestselling humorist Andrew Shaffer, featuring a series of shallow platitudes on love, heartbreak, and $13 vodka.From the haunting beauty of novelty socks ("Socks") to tough love for friends ("You are Not a Mermaid"), Shaffer's writing will have readers questioning why they ever wasted time reading lesser poets.

Poems

Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)

A new collection of laugh-out-loud poems from the international bestselling author of Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So is My Cat)



Tired of Instagram poems about whiskey and self-love? Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow) is the hilarious antidote you didn't know you needed, complete with crap drawings that make Rupi Kaur's look like they belong in the Louvre.



From poignant odes to snack cakes ("The Last Temptation of Little Debbie") to tough love for friends ("You are Not a Mermaid"), Shaffer's writing will have you questioning why you ever wasted time reading lesser verse jockeys.

Fifty-one Shades

Few people have failed at love as spectacularly as the great philosophers. Although we admire their wisdom, history is littered with the romantic failures of the most sensible men and women of every age, including: Friedrich Nietzsche: "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." (Rejected by everyone he proposed to, even when he kept asking and asking.) Jean-Paul Sartre: "There are of course ugly women, but I prefer those who are pretty." (Adopted his mistress as his daughter.) Louis Althusser: "The trouble is there are bodies and, worse still, sexual organs." (Accidentally strangled his wife to death.) And dozens of other great thinkers whose words we revere—but whose romantic decisions we should avoid at all costs.

Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love

"If you're looking for something tart to cut the holiday sweetness, Shaffer offers a naughty little treat." -- The Gazette "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like F*ck This" is an off-beat collection of Christmas parodies, essays, poems, and cartoons by New York Times bestselling humorist Andrew Shaffer. Previously published as "The Shelf on the Elf," this newly-expanded holiday cult classic has it all: holiday pickles, regret, talking lambs, and knife-wielding maniacs.

Andrew Shaffer

About

Books

Join the club