Beth Orsoff

Being ditched at the altar is the least of Lizzie Mancini’s problems. Sitting in a Caribbean jail cell accused of murdering her “pretend” husband, however, is at the top of the list. After her real groom jilts her, Lizzie decides to go solo on their Belize honeymoon and meets handsome Michael Garcia, who is nursing his own heartache. To avoid the bleakness of dining and sightseeing alone, as well as questions from nosy, if well-meaning, fellow guests at the couples-only resort, the two agree to pose as newlyweds for the week—no strings (or sex) attached. The plan runs smoothly until Lizzie enjoys the attentions of the local scuba instructor and Michael’s body washes ashore. Suddenly the “Mrs.” is mistakenly ID’d as suspect numero uno. With the Polizia Nationale ready to close the case and cook her goose, Lizzie will have to solve the crime herself. Unexpected romance and international intrigue are center stage in Beth Orsoff’s mystery caper that takes “’til death do us part” to a whole new level.

Honeymoon for One

Embarking on a dating frenzy of blind dates, chance meetings, dating services, and the Internet, L.A. entertainment lawyer Julie Burns launches a campaign to find Mr. Perfect, unaware that love can find you when you least expect it. Original. 25,000 first printing.

Romantically Challenged

Older woman, younger man, sparks fly! "Girl meets boy, girl sleeps with boy (even though she's not that kind of girl), girl falls for boy even though she doesn't want to. . . because girl wants a baby. . . but boy does not. That's when things REALLY get interesting and the plot moves in ways I didn't expect." --Goodreads Reviewer Sabrina Mayerson is turning 40, and all she wants for her birthday is one night of hot, sweaty, twenty-something sex. Twenty-eight-year old Andrew Whelan is happy to oblige. But when one night becomes a weekend, and a weekend turns into a relationship, Sabrina knows she's in trouble. Because Sabrina's desire for Andrew is rivaled only by her desire for a child. And the responsibility of fatherhood is something Andrew definitely does not want. Sure, Andrew's young, and maybe he'll change his mind . . . in time. But time is the one thing Sabrina cannot give him. Her clock is ticking and forcing her to choose--the love of her life or motherhood. With colorful characters, pitch-perfect dialogue, razor-sharp observations, and her signature wit, Beth Orsoff crafts the perfect beach read sure to leave readers with a smile.

A Romantically Challenged Novel

Boy Toy

When it comes to relationships Samantha Haller has seen it all. As a top LA divorce attorney she knows love doesn’t last. On a rare night out at a Hollywood nightclub she isn’t looking for love, or even a relationship, but with the help of a spiked drink she may just let loose and have some fun for a change. For sports agent extraordinaire Jake Jensen dating means sex, nothing more. That’s why his “relationships” last, on average, two weeks. As long as the women go away quietly and don’t make a scene, he’s fine with that. Finding a new one to take the former’s place is never a problem for a handsome, generous, eligible bachelor. They both want sex with no attachment—what could possibly go wrong? They could fall in love . . .

Game Changer

The saga of Alex and Gwen that started in the bestselling Vlad All Over continues . . . they can’t be together, but they won’t stay apart. Is there a happily ever after in Alex and Gwen’s future? Only the gypsies know for sure. Alex and Gwen have set aside their animosity for the sake of their son. Joint custody requires cooperation, and they’ve mastered that—perhaps a little too well, at least according to Gwen’s new boyfriend, who’s less than pleased when Gwen agrees to spend the summer in Transylvania with Alex and the kids. Although it’s not as if Alex gives Gwen much of a choice—she only goes to Romania to avoid another bitter costly lawsuit she can’t afford. But Gwen’s visit is timely because the dispute over Dracula’s gold mine is coming to a head. And so is her and Alex’s future. Author’s Note: Vlad to the Bone is the sequel to Vlad All Over, the world’s first gothic chick lit tale. What is gothic chick lit? You can find the answer here: http://www.kindlepost.com/2012/11/gothic-chick-lit-101.html. While it’s possible to read Vlad to the Bone without reading Vlad All Over first, I wouldn’t recommend it. You’d be missing out on a lot of intriguing backstory.

Vlad to the Bone

Allie Zenet has nabbed a sparkly diamond ring and the handsome studio exec fiancé that goes with it. Unfortunately that package also includes a domineering future mother-in-law and serious wedding jitters. The thirty-two-year-old Hollywood accountant would rather elope, but fiancé Brad seems incapable of saying “no” to mommy’s wedding demands. Allie wonders if anyone knows—or cares—that she is the one who’s getting married. Her closest friends are too engrossed in their own messy love lives to offer any guidance, and Allie’s mother’s views on marriage would make a strident feminist blush. The only one who seems interested in what Allie thinks is a good-looking acquaintance by the name of Jax Montgomery. But Jax’s attentions have Allie questioning just what it is she truly wants. Beth Orsoff’s hilarious and heartfelt romp Disengaged is all about getting to “I do” by saying “I won’t.”

Disengaged

Gwen Andersen loves being a schoolteacher, but she isn’t exactly raking in the big bucks. With her bank account shrinking by the minute, she needs a well-paying summer job if she’s going to hold onto the childhood home she inherited from her parents. So when the father of one of her students asks her to fill in as his au pair for the summer, she knows she should be thrilled. Alexander Romanescu is loaded, and Gwen adores his daughter Isabella. Plus, they’re planning to spend the vacation at their ancestral estate—in Romania! And yet Gwen can’t shake the nagging feeling that saying yes to this man could lead to more than she bargained for. She knows so little about him—and the idea of spending six weeks in the land of Dracula and Vlad the Impaler is more than a little creepy. But the legends of Romania will be the least of her concerns if she doesn’t make some money…fast. And so Gwen says yes: yes to the job, yes to a European excursion…and yes to a summer that will change her path forever. With her trademark crackling dialogue, exotic locations, and knack for realistic characters, Beth Orsoff delivers an engrossing tale of love, intrigue, and betrayal. This is not your typical chick lit tale. This is something new. This is gothic chick lit.

Vlad All Over

When Los Angeles publicist Sydney Green convinces her boss to let her produce a documentary for the Save the Walrus Foundation, the only thing she is really interested in saving is herself. Sydney sees the walrus as merely a means to improving her career and her love life—and not necessarily in that order. For any other client Sydney would’ve killed the project the second she learned she’d be the one having to spend a month in rural Alaska, but for rising star, and sometimes boyfriend Blake McKinley, no sacrifice is ever too great. Yet, a funny thing happens on the way to the Arctic. A gregarious walrus pup, a cantankerous scientist, an Australian sex goddess, a Star Wars obsessed six-year-old, and friends and nemeses both past and present rock Sydney Green’s well-ordered world. Soon Sydney is forced to choose between doing what’s easy and doing what’s right. Beth Orsoff’s Girl in the Wild is a bright, comical tale of ambition, romance…and walruses. This title was previously published as How I Learned to Love the Walrus

Beth Orsoff

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