Bonnie Zucker

"Encourages teens to maintain their desire to achieve without striving to always be perfect and to appreciate and love who they are, not for what they accomplish"--

It’s hard for teens to be happy when they’ve created a very narrow window of what defines success. The goal of this helpful book is to encourage teens to maintain their desire to achieve without striving to always be perfect and to appreciate and love who they are just as they are, not for what they do or accomplish. Finding a balance between work and play is key. Challenging perfectionism is about the pursuit of happiness.

When teens can recognize that perfectionism is a disadvantage, they can become motivated to do something about it. For many, it may just be shifting the perfectionism a bit to land in a more positive place.  It might be about deciding when and where to be slightly perfectionistic, when and where they can let go of high standards and all-or-nothing thinking, and when it’s okay to simply do a “good enough” job on something.

Topics covered include: 

 What is Perfectionism & Why Change it?
Treating Perfectionism with Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT):
 Mastering Self-Care: Relaxation & Meditation
Challenging Perfectionistic Thinking: The Path to Freedom Part 1
 Decision-Making, Flexibility, & Comfort Zones
Challenging Perfectionistic Behavior: The Path to Freedom, Part 2
Picture Perfect: Social Media & Body Image
Making Mistakes, Failing & Life Lessons
 Stress Management & Balanced Living
 
The book also includes resources, additional reading for teens, additional reading for Parents, apps, references, and a comprehensive index

Symptoms of Perfectionism:
Refusal to accept anything less than perfect
Holding yourself to impossible-to-meet high standards
Believing that your worth is measured by your achievements or grades
Being hyper-focused on grades
Needing to get straight-As or be the best at your sport/chosen activity
Spending excessive amounts of time on projects or schoolwork because you have to make it perfect
Checking work over and over again
Needing extensions to hand in assignments or papers
Being preoccupied with rules and lists
Being rigid and inflexible (for example, if plans change)
Difficulty asking for help
Difficulty delegating tasks to others
Difficulty making decisions
Procrastination
Being unable to handle making a mistake
Feeling guilty for making a mistake or perceived failures
Being self-critical and harsh with yourself if your performance falls short of perfect
Constantly comparing yourself to others
Only being happy when you win or come in first
Being unable to accept feedback or constructive criticism
Spending hours on your appearance
Refusing to leave the house unless you look your best
Hyper-focusing on parts of your body that you are not happy with
Having negative body-image because your body is not perfect like a male or female model’s body
Restricted eating (either due to wanting to stay within a certain calorie range or only eating 100% clean foods)
Waking up very early at the same time every day to exercise for 2 hours
Expecting others to do things to your standards
Regularly feeling disappointed in others
Expecting that others won’t make mistakes
Holdings others to high/unattainable standards (for example, that others should do things in the way you would)
Being unwilling to delegate tasks to others
Being critical of others
Not being happy for others when they do well
Trouble sharing your thoughts or feelings
Difficulty relaxing and letting go
Inability to be spontaneous
 
Impact of Perfectionism:
Stress
Low self-esteem/ self-worth
Low self-confidence/ not believing in yourself
Self-doubt
Self-criticism
Self-deprecation
Feeling lots of pressure
Feeling like a failure
Feeling guilt
Feeling a sense of shame
Inability to celebrate your achievements
Negative impact on relationships with parents, teachers, friends
Others perceiving you as judgmental or “hard” on them
Trouble being close to others because you are overly judgmental
Limited problem-solving skills resulting from inflexible thinking
Limited creativity (often resulting from appealing to someone else’s ideals)
Missing out on enjoyable, fun experiences
Missing out on being social
Physical problems such as GI issues and headaches
Exhaustion or fatigue
Anxiety
Depression
Body image disturbance
Eating disorders

A Perfectionist's Guide to Not Being Perfect

Take Control of OCD: The Ultimate Guide for Kids With OCD is a unique guide just for kids ages 10-16 with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder to help them take control of their disorder and find success in school and in life. Using a cognitive-behavioral therapy method to stress gradual exposure to students' obsessive thinking patterns, the book takes kids step-by-step through a ladder-based process to conquer their fears and demolish their worries. Focusing on helping kids change their obsessive thoughts, tolerate uncertainty, develop positive self-talk and stress management, advocate for their needs in school, find successful relaxation procedures, and face their fears, the book includes workbook-style pages for kids to complete. By interviewing kids with OCD from across the country, the author offers tons of advice, information, and ideas for students, by students just like them. This handy guidebook is sure to help children with OCD change their behaviors and conquer their worries, discovering a sense of accomplishment and achievement. Ages 10-16

The Ultimate Guide for Kids With OCD

Take Control of OCD

Take Control of OCD: A Kid's Guide to Conquering Anxiety and Managing OCD is a must-have guide for kids and teens ages 10-16 with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder to help them take control and use their strengths to find success in school and in life. This fully updated second edition: Uses a cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure/response prevention method to stress gradual exposure to obsessive thinking patterns. Provides a step-by-step ladder-based process to help readers conquer their fears and demolish their worries. Helps kids change their obsessive thoughts, tolerate uncertainty, and develop positive self-talk and stress management. Also helps kids advocate for their needs in school and build successful relaxation procedures. Includes workbook-style pages for readers to complete. By interviewing kids with OCD from across the country, the author offers tons of advice, information, and ideas for students, by students just like them. Readers will find themselves in this book, as it normalizes and validates the often hidden and undisclosed thoughts, urges, and images, and accompanying rituals and compulsions that so many children and teens with OCD struggle with. Ages 10-16

A Kid's Guide to Conquering Anxiety and Managing OCD

Parenting Kids With OCD provides parents with a comprehensive understanding of obsessive-compulsive disorder, its symptoms, types, and presentation in children and teens. The treatment of OCD is explained, and guidelines on how to both find appropriate help and best support one's child are provided. Family accommodation is the rule, not the exception, when it comes to childhood OCD; yet, higher accommodating is associated with a worsening of the child's symptoms and greater levels of familial stress. Parents who have awareness of how they can positively or negatively impact their child's OCD can benefit their child's outcome. Case examples are included to illustrate the child's experience with OCD and what effective treatment looks like. OCD worsens when there is increased stress for the child; therefore, stress management is an essential component for improvement. Parents will learn how to manage stress in themselves and encourage effective stress management for their children.

A Guide to Understanding and Supporting Your Child With OCD

Parenting Kids With OCD

The quintessential guide that gives parents the tools they need to understand and support a child with OCD Parenting Kids With OCD provides parents with a comprehensive understanding of obsessive-compulsive disorder, its symptoms, types, and presentation in children and teens. The treatment of OCD is explained, and guidelines on how to both find appropriate help and best support one's child is provided.Family accommodation is the rule, not the exception, when it comes to childhood OCD; yet, higher accommodating is associated with a worsening of the child's symptoms and greater levels of familial stress. Parents who have awareness of how they can positively or negatively impact their child's OCD can benefit their child's outcome. Case examples are included to illustrate the child's experience with OCD and what effective treatment looks like. OCD worsens when there is increased stress for the child; therefore, stress management is an essential component for improvement. Parents will learn how to manage stress in themselves and encourage effective stress management for their children.

A Guide to Understanding and Supporting Your Child with OCD

Parenting Kids with OCD

It's hard for teens to be happy when they've created a very narrow window of what defines success. The goal of this helpful book is to encourage teens to maintain their desire to achieve without striving to always be perfect and to appreciate and love who they are just as they are, not for what they do or accomplish. Finding a balance between work and play is key. Challenging perfectionism is about the pursuit of happiness. When teens can recognize that perfectionism is a disadvantage, they can become motivated to do something about it. For many, it may just be shifting the perfectionism a bit to land in a more positive place. It might be about deciding when and where to be slightly perfectionistic, when and where they can let go of high standards and all-or-nothing thinking, and when it's okay to simply do a "good enough" job on something. Topics covered include: What is Perfectionism & Why Change it? Treating Perfectionism with Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Mastering Self-Care: Relaxation & Meditation Challenging Perfectionistic Thinking: The Path to Freedom Part 1 Decision-Making, Flexibility, & Comfort Zones Challenging Perfectionistic Behavior: The Path to Freedom, Part 2 Picture Perfect: Social Media & Body Image Making Mistakes, Failing & Life Lessons Stress Management & Balanced Living The book also includes resources, additional reading for teens, additional reading for Parents, apps, references, and a comprehensive index Symptoms of Perfectionism: Refusal to accept anything less than perfect Holding yourself to impossible-to-meet high standards Believing that your worth is measured by your achievements or grades Being hyper-focused on grades Needing to get straight-As or be the best at your sport/chosen activity Spending excessive amounts of time on projects or schoolwork because you have to make it perfect Checking work over and over again Needing extensions to hand in assignments or papers Being preoccupied with rules and lists Being rigid and inflexible (for example, if plans change) Difficulty asking for help Difficulty delegating tasks to others Difficulty making decisions Procrastination Being unable to handle making a mistake Feeling guilty for making a mistake or perceived failures Being self-critical and harsh with yourself if your performance falls short of perfect Constantly comparing yourself to others Only being happy when you win or come in first Being unable to accept feedback or constructive criticism Spending hours on your appearance Refusing to leave the house unless you look your best Hyper-focusing on parts of your body that you are not happy with Having negative body-image because your body is not perfect like a male or female model's body Restricted eating (either due to wanting to stay within a certain calorie range or only eating 100% clean foods) Waking up very early at the same time every day to exercise for 2 hours Expecting others to do things to your standards Regularly feeling disappointed in others Expecting that others won't make mistakes Holdings others to high/unattainable standards (for example, that others should do things in the way you would) Being unwilling to delegate tasks to others Being critical of others Not being happy for others when they do well Trouble sharing your thoughts or feelings Difficulty relaxing and letting go Inability to be spontaneous Impact of Perfectionism: Stress Low self-esteem/ self-worth Low self-confidence/ not believing in yourself Self-doubt Self-criticism Self-deprecation Feeling lots of pressure Feeling like a failure Feeling guilt Feeling a sense of shame Inability to celebrate your achievements Negative impact on relationships with parents, teachers, friends Others perceiving you as judgmental or "hard" on them Trouble being close to others because you are overly judgmental Limited problem-solving skills resulting from inflexible thinking Limited creativity (often resulting from appealing to someone else's ideals) Missing out on enjoyable, fun experiences Missing out on being social Physical problems such as GI issues and headaches Exhaustion or fatigue Anxiety Depression Body image disturbance Eating disorders

A "tool for parents, caregivers, therapists, and teachers to help young children understand the concept of death and begin the process of coping with the loss"--Amazon.com.

A Toddler's Guide to Understanding Death

Something Very Sad Happened

Anxiety-Free Kids (2nd ed.) offers parents strategies that help children become happy and worry-free, methods that relieve a child's excessive anxieties and phobias, and tools for fostering interaction and family-oriented solutions. Using a unique companion approach that offers two books in one—a practical, reader-friendly book for parents and a fun workbook for kids—this solutions-oriented guide utilizes the cognitive-behavioral approach to therapy and integrates the parent in the child's self-help process. Research has shown that if left untreated, children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, to have less-developed social skills, and to be more vulnerable to substance abuse. Covering the six most commonly occurring anxiety disorders—generalized anxiety, separation anxiety, specific phobias, social phobias, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder—this book gives kids and parents successful strategies for achieving relaxation, conquering worries, challenging faulty thinking patterns, developing positive self-talk, and facing one's fears. Educational Resource

Bonnie Zucker

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