Brian Bilston

It's January 1st and Brian Bilston is convinced that this year his New Year's resolution will change his life. Every day for a year, he will write a poem. It's quite simple. Brian's life certainly needs improving. His ex-wife has taken up with a new man, a motivational speaker and indefatigable charity fundraiser to boot; he seems to constantly disappoint his long-suffering son; and at work he is drowning in a sea of spreadsheets and management jargon. So poetry will be his salvation. But there is an obstacle in the form of Toby Salt, his arch nemesis at Poetry Club and rival suitor to Liz, Brian's new poetic inspiration. When Toby goes missing, just after the announcement of the publication of his first collection, This Bridge No Hands Shall Cleave, Brian becomes the number one suspect. If he is to regain his reputation and to have a chance of winning Liz, he must find out what has happened to Toby before it is too late. Part tender love story, part murder mystery, part coruscating description of a wasted life, and interspersed with some of the funniest poems about the mundane and the profound, Diary of a Somebody is the most original novel you will read this or any year.

Diary of a Somebody

You Took the Last Bus Home is the first and long-awaited collection of ingeniously hilarious and surprisingly touching poems from Brian Bilston, the mysterious "Poet Laureate of Twitter." With endless wit, imaginative wordplay and underlying heartache, he offers profound insights into modern life, exploring themes as diverse as love, death, the inestimable value of a mobile phone charger, the unbearable torment of forgetting to put the rubbish out, and the improbable nuances of the English language. Constantly experimenting with literary form, Bilston's words have been known to float off the page, take the shape of the subjects they explore, and reflect our contemporary world in the form of Excel spreadsheets, Venn diagrams and Scrabble tiles. This irresistibly charming collection of his best-loved poems will make you question the very essence of the human condition in the 21st century. YOU TOOK THE LAST BUS HOME you took the last bus home don't know how you got it through the door you're always doing amazing stuff like the time when you caught that train

The Poems of Brian Bilston

You Took the Last Bus Home

It's January 1st and Brian Bilston is convinced that this year his New Year's resolution will change his life. Every day for a year, he will write a poem. It's quite simple.Brian's life certainly needs improving. His ex-wife has taken up with a new man, a motivational speaker and indefatigable charity fundraiser to boot; he seems to constantly disappoint his long-suffering son; and at work he is drowning in a sea of spreadsheets and management jargon.So poetry will be his salvation. But there is an obstacle in the form of Toby Salt, his arch nemesis at Poetry Club and rival suitor to Liz, Brian's new poetic inspiration. When Toby goes missing, just after the announcement of the publication of his first collection, This Bridge No Hands Shall Cleave, Brian becomes the number one suspect. If he is to regain his reputation and to have a chance of winning Liz, he must find out what has happened to Toby before it is too late.Part tender love story, part murder mystery, part coruscating description of a wasted life, and interspersed with some of the funniest poems about the mundane and the profound, Diary of a Somebody is the most original novel you will read this or any year.

Days Like These

'Brian Bilston is a laureate for our fractured times.' Ian McMillan 'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' The Times 'Part John Cooper Clarke, part Frank Sidebottom . . . all brilliant.' Esquire 'Bilston is a magician with words' Guardian Alexa, what is there to know about love? is a wonderful collection of poems about love in all its forms, covering everything from romantic love to familial love, to long-distance love, and even love on the internet. The collection also features poems about the true passions for many booklovers, reading and literature, and the odd one about the subject causing many of us heartbreak: politics. With titles like ‘Hold My Hand While We Jump Off This Cliff’ and ‘Remembrance of Things Pasta’, there’s something for even the most jaded romantic within these pages. The perfect, witty gift for Valentine’s and beyond.

Alexa, what is there to know about love?

A brilliant way to brighten each day. In this playful, innovative collection, Brian Bilston writes a poem to accompany every day of the year. Each poem is inspired by a significant – often curious – event associated with that day: from Open an Umbrella Indoors Day to the day on which New York banned public flirting; from the launch of the Rubik’s Cube to the first appearance of the phrase, ‘the best thing since sliced bread’. Perfect for reading aloud and sharing with friends, Days Like These: An alternative guide to the year in 366 poems will take the blues out of Monday, flatten the Wednesday hump, and amplify that Friday feeling.

An alternative guide to the year in 366 poems

'If you like a) laughing or b) words which rhyme with each other, you will love Brian Bilston' - Richard Osman, author of We Solve Murders 'There is poetry to be found in anything if you look hard enough.' You Took the Last Bus Home is a collection of ingenious, hilarious and touching poems from Brian Bilston, one of Britain’s funniest and best-loved poets. With endless wit, wisdom and delightful wordplay, Bilston's first collection of poetry offers profound insights into the common joys and sorrows of modern life. Exploring themes as diverse as love, death, and the unbearable torment of forgetting to put the rubbish out, all of Bilston’s poems are alive to the improbable nuances of the English language. Constantly experimenting with poetic forms – from Venn diagrams to Scrabble tiles – this irresistibly charming collection of poems will make you ponder the very essence of the human condition in the twenty-first century. 'Bilston is a magician with words' - The Guardian 'Brian Bilston is a laureate for our fractured times' - Ian McMillan **Brian's next book, How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside: An Alternative Guide to Writing and Enjoying Poetry, is available for pre-order now!**

Why do we write poetry? Who should write it? And where do you even start? Well, Brian Bilston, one of the UK’s most hilarious and best-loved poets, is here to take us through the hows, whys, and whats of reading, writing, and enjoying poetry every day. With his characteristic wit and charm, Bilston accompanies us through the jungle of imagination to the source of inspiration, takes us under the hood of a sonnet, and over the fear of literary devices. He gives us a whirlwind tour through the history of verse and shows us why human poetry will always triumph over any attempts by AI. Showcasing over a hundred brand new poems, and including practical critiques of some of his greatest hits, every page is an immensely pleasurable deep-dive into the life-affirming craft of poetry and a passionate argument for why we should all pick up a pen. How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside is for anyone who loves words and all the things they can do.

An Alternative Guide to Writing and Enjoying Poetry

How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside

It’s that time of year again . . . With his signature wit, Brian Bilston returns with And So This is Christmas, fifty-one poems in celebration of the festive season: from bizarre family traditions to the office Christmas party; from voting day for turkeys to the impossible art of gift-giving. So hang your stockings, grab your mistletoe and curl up with this heart-warming collection of Christmas crackers.

51 Seasonally Adjusted Poems

And So This is Christmas

A hilarious and moving poetry collection from bestselling poet, Costa Prize shortlisted novelist and Twitter laureate, Brian Bilston.

Alexa, What Is There to Know about Love?

A funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages – from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between. Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable fixtures: I’d love nothing more than to go outside and spend time with Mother Nature. But what can I do? It’s out of my hands: Nigeria are playing Croatia 50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns! 'Bilston is a magician with words' – Guardian 'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' – The Times

50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems

Refugee is a book of two voices. The first one sees the people fleeing from war and persecution and asks, Why here? Why my country? It is a feeling many people share. It is one of fear and suspicion. But when you read the text the opposite way, a new voice emerges. It says, "Why not make them welcome? Why not share the things we have?: The world is undergoing a period of mass human migration. Whether this is caused by war, persecution or economics, the people we see on the news in those camps are waiting--waiting to live their lives. There are two sides to every debate. There are two sides to a wall. This story shows both sides of the issue with skill and the illustrations depict the issue in a magic realism style, powerful but never frightening, and will promote a deeper discussion on this topic with an older child.

Brian Bilston

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