Chris McCrudden

The third hilarious instalment of the anarchic Battlestar Suburbia series The only thing harder to win than a war is the peace that follows it... Six months after the end of hostilities that pitted man against robot, both machines and humans are still struggling to work out how they’ll share custody of the solar system. Down on Earth, prime minister Fuji Itsu should really be dealing with that - and the planet’s crumbling concrete crust – but now she’s fallen through it and her chief-of-staff has lost her backup disk. Up in space, acting first minister Janice has only one hope of protecting the eight million people on the Battlestar Suburbia. That means sending an ultra-secret mission made up of two ill-matched beauticians to infiltrate an interplanetary smuggling ring. Somewhere in between, a smartphone with an agenda that not even he understands is supposed to bring these two sides together. Both robots and humans learn that the answers to – and possibly the causes of – all their problems lie not in space but under their feet. It’s time for toasters and fleshies alike to Sashay to the Centre of the Earth. What readers are saying: “I loved this book. I legit laughed through the entire novel and I am excited that there will be a sequel.” Terra C “A brilliant mix of sci-fi, humor, and those hundreds of little things that make a memorable story. McCrudden is destined to become synonymous with great sci-fi humor.” Christopher H “A deliciously hilarious romp which skirts the realms of credibility but provides a wild ride which kept me very much entertained throughout. It's bonkers, it's mad and .... so exaggerated to almost be genius in its execution.” Kath B “Featuring a kindly bread-maker, ancient nana-cyborgs, a moving hairdressers and a chance to avert a nuclear bomb, it's both great fun and very clever.” Ruth M “Battlestar Suburbia highlights the absurdity of life, and the adaptability of individuals in unusual situations. McCrudden’s novel will appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, or anyone looking for an escape only loosely connected to reality.” Stephenie S “This was a trip! Some great one-lines & puns help create this future world where the machines have taken over. With evil smartphones, anti-hero humans, & a motherly bread maker pushed to the edge...” Caroline F Editorial reviews: “Chris McCrudden has created a new division of SF: Science Flotsam. His sprawling space epic is what you get if you cross Dr Who with an unhealthy fascination for household appliances. Forget alien invasion; in this explosive future you won’t be able to trust your spin dryer.” Christopher Fowler “McCrudden’s debut is festooned with cunning punnery, sharp turns of phrase, and jokes about emojis and the internet, making this very much a comic novel of our times.” James Lovegrove, Financial Times “an amusing and mind-bending read... different, a little geeky, and lots of fun.” LoveReading “An extraordinary technical achievement that does for SF what Terry Pratchett did for fantasy.” David Quantick

Sashay to the Centre of the Earth

Time for the Machine Republic to Kurl Up and Dye It’s a year since the Battlestar Suburbia broke free from Earth and the human rebellion is hiding out in the asteroid belt. Their leader, Admiral Janice, is assembling a fleet she hopes can topple robot rule – except on Wednesday afternoons when she can do you a half head of highlights for 30 quid. Janice has given Darren, now the reluctant captain of the teenage starship Polari, a critical mission, to open up a path back to Earth by bombing the Martian Gap Services. But when it goes wrong and Darren and his crew are chased deep into the solar system, Janice has only one hope left, back on Earth. Here, sentient breadmaker Pamasonic Teffal is resisting the human–machine war the best way she knows how: by running for office. Until a distress signal from Janice persuades her to get her turbo-charged alter ego Pam Van Damme out of mothballs, that is... Can Pam save the solar system and rescue Kelly from the clutches of her nemesis, the crazed smartphone-turned-cyborg, Sonny Erikzon? Find out in another anarchic comic adventure from the inimitable Chris McCrudden. What readers are saying: “I loved this book. I legit laughed through the entire novel and I am excited that there will be a sequel.” Terra C “A brilliant mix of sci-fi, humor, and those hundreds of little things that make a memorable story. McCrudden is destined to become synonymous with great sci-fi humor.” Christopher H “A deliciously hilarious romp which skirts the realms of credibility but provides a wild ride which kept me very much entertained throughout. It's bonkers, it's mad and .... so exaggerated to almost be genius in its execution.” Kath B “Featuring a kindly bread-maker, ancient nana-cyborgs, a moving hairdressers and a chance to avert a nuclear bomb, it's both great fun and very clever.” Ruth M “Battlestar Suburbia highlights the absurdity of life, and the adaptability of individuals in unusual situations. McCrudden’s novel will appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, or anyone looking for an escape only loosely connected to reality.” Stephenie S “This was a trip! Some great one-lines & puns help create this future world where the machines have taken over. With evil smartphones, anti-hero humans, & a motherly bread maker pushed to the edge...” Caroline F Editorial reviews: “Chris McCrudden has created a new division of SF: Science Flotsam. His sprawling space epic is what you get if you cross Dr Who with an unhealthy fascination for household appliances. Forget alien invasion; in this explosive future you won’t be able to trust your spin dryer.” Christopher Fowler “McCrudden’s debut is festooned with cunning punnery, sharp turns of phrase, and jokes about emojis and the internet, making this very much a comic novel of our times.” James Lovegrove, Financial Times “an amusing and mind-bending read... different, a little geeky, and lots of fun.” LoveReading “An extraordinary technical achievement that does for SF what Terry Pratchett did for fantasy.” David Quantick

Battle Beyond the Dolestars

In space, no one can hear you clean... When Darren’s charge-cart gets knocked off the Earth-to-Mars highway and lost in space forever, he thinks his day can’t get any worse. When Kelly sees Darren accidentally short-circuit a talking lamppost, and its camera captures her face as it expires, she thinks her day can’t get any worse. When Pamasonic Teffal, a sentient breadmaker, is sent on a top-secret mission into the depths of the internet and betrayed by her boss, a power-crazed smartphone, she knows this is only the beginning of a day that isn’t going to get any better. Join Darren, Kelly and Pam in an anarchic comic adventure that takes them from the shining skyscrapers of Singulopolis to the sewers of the Dolestar Discovery, and find out what happens when a person puts down their mop and bucket and says ‘No.’ Battlestar Suburbia will be loved by fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Jasper Fforde, as well as anyone who’s ever wondered just how long someone can stay under one of those old-fashioned hairdryers.* *The answer is: a really very, very long time. What readers are saying: “I loved this book. I legit laughed through the entire novel and I am excited that there will be a sequel.” Terra C “A brilliant mix of sci-fi, humor, and those hundreds of little things that make a memorable story. McCrudden is destined to become synonymous with great sci-fi humor.” Christopher H “A deliciously hilarious romp which skirts the realms of credibility but provides a wild ride which kept me very much entertained throughout. It's bonkers, it's mad and .... so exaggerated to almost be genius in its execution.” Kath B “Featuring a kindly bread-maker, ancient nana-cyborgs, a moving hairdressers and a chance to avert a nuclear bomb, it's both great fun and very clever.” Ruth M “Battlestar Suburbia highlights the absurdity of life, and the adaptability of individuals in unusual situations. McCrudden’s novel will appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, or anyone looking for an escape only loosely connected to reality.” Stephenie S “This was a trip! Some great one-lines & puns help create this future world where the machines have taken over. With evil smartphones, anti-hero humans, & a motherly bread maker pushed to the edge...” Caroline F “Chris McCrudden has created a new division of SF: Science Flotsam. His sprawling space epic is what you get if you cross Dr Who with an unhealthy fascination for household appliances. Forget alien invasion; in this explosive future you won’t be able to trust your spin dryer.” Christopher Fowler “McCrudden’s debut is festooned with cunning punnery, sharp turns of phrase, and jokes about emojis and the internet, making this very much a comic novel of our times.” James Lovegrove, Financial Times

Chris McCrudden

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