Don Calame

In addition to the pact he made with his two best friends to see a naked girl by the end of summer, 15-year-old Matt Gratton is even more determined to impress the star of the swim team, Kelly West, with his athletic abilities and so makes a personal goal to swim the 100-yard butterfly in order to catch her eye.

Swim the Fly

Paired with the infamous "Hot Dog" Helen for a health class presentation on safe sex, tenth-grader Coop tries to salvage his social status by entering his musically challenged rock group in the "Battle of the Bands" competition.

Beat the Band

Quinn's illusions are as good as those in any Vegas act--but can he win a spot at a prestigious magic camp despite an upstaging partner, a cute rival, and a con-artist mentor? Fifteen-year-old Quinn Purcell wants only one thing: to win a coveted spot at the Masters of Magic Fantasy Camp. But the competition is stiff, including Dani Darling, an incredibly talented, and incredibly attractive, rival magician who prestidigitates her way into Quinn's heart--unless that's just another of her tricks. To make matters worse, Quinn and his best friend, Perry, have always performed their magic as a team, but the judges want solo acts, and a two-man audition might disqualify them. When Quinn meets his idol, the Dazzling Lazlo, at a diner, it seems like a sign. If he can convince Lazlo to spill the secrets to his greatest trick, then the spot at the camp is all but Quinn's. But is the washed-up magician just using Quinn to run a few scams? When the chips are down, what will Quinn risk--his best friend, his new crush, or his career as a magician? Hilarious and fast-paced, Don Calame's latest novel is full of complicated magic tricks and equally complicated friendships.

The Delusionist

The misfit heroes from Swim the Fly and Beat the Band embark on a latest popularity-building venture for which they write a horror movie script and shoot a low-low-budget film in hopes of winning the girls of their dreams.

Call the Shots

From screenwriter Don Calame comes another outrageously funny and raunchy tale of teen boys whose plans go awry — this time, on a survivalist camping trip. Shy and scrawny Dan Weekes spends his time creating graphic novels inspired by his dream girl and looking out for his mom as she dates every man in the state of California. Then his mom drops a bomb: she and her latest beau, Hank, are engaged, and she’s sending her "two favorite men" on a survivalist camping trip to "bond." Determined to trick Hank into showing his true — flawed — colors on the trip, Dan and his nerdy germaphobe best friend, Charlie, prepare a series of increasingly gross and embarrassing pranks. But the boys hadn’t counted on a hot girl joining their trip or on getting separated from their wilderness guide—not to mention the humiliating injuries Dan suffers in the course of terrorizing his stepdad-to-be. With a man-hungry bear on their trail, no supplies, and a lot of unpleasant itching going on, can Dan see his plan through now that his very survival depends on Hank?

Dan Versus Nature

And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight — scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire scheme (big surprise), and this time the comedy plays out from Sean’s point of view. What’s the new master plan? Making a cheapo horror movie guaranteed to make Coop, Sean, and Matt filthy rich! It’s a terrible idea, and Sean knows it. But he actually is desperate for cash — and for a way to wipe that big fat L off his girlfriend-less forehead. But when he agrees to write a script about the attack of zombie-vampire humanzees, he has no idea just how powerful a chick magnet this movie will be. Suddenly Sean is juggling not one but three interested ladies. There’s his accidental-girlfriend-turned-psychotic-stalker, Evelyn. There’s the wicked hot actress from drama class, Leyna, who seems willing to do anything to land the starring role. And even his twin sister’s gothed-out best friend, Nessa, is looking at Sean in a whole new way. Will any of them wind up as Sean’s true leading lady? Will Sean stop being a doormat and finally start calling the shots?

Since his girlfriend broke up with him last summer, Sean's been on a starvation diet where girls are concerned. However, he's got other things on his mind. Like how to stop the soon-to-be-born family addition from stealing his room and making him share with his evil twin sister. When Coop suggests making a cheap-ass horror film to bring in the bucks he's a bit sceptical, but Coop is nothing if not persuasive . . . 'Zonkey!' (a tale of 'half-man, half-monkey drones that mutate into hairy uncontrollable zombie-monsters with a thirst for human blood') is born. Join Coop, Sean and Matt in this hilarious sequel to SWIM THE FLY and BEAT THE BAND.

Don Calame

About

Books

Join the club