Douglas Hackle

Ever since he was a young orphan, Hansel Higginzshire's dream has been to break the long-held Guinness World Record for hottest gay man ever killed in a shark attack. Big Problem #1: Hansel is not hot. At least not in the classical sense. In fact, the deformed man has a head the size of a wrecking ball. Big Problem #2: Hansel digs chicks, not dudes. Still, that shouldn't stop a big-headed mofo from dreaming big, no But if those obstacles weren't enough to impede Hansel's path to Guinness World Record greatness, he finds himself wanted for murder. Now on the lam, his situation pretty hopeless, Hansel agrees to die a horrible death in a snuff film for just few measly bucks. But perhaps the misfit companions Hansel meets on his westward cross-country trek to Hollywood-Rosebud (the drunken, down-on-its-luck, former actor, and sentient sled from Citizen Kane); a living, talking amputated arm that once belonged to a famous rock drummer; and a geeky keytar player born with a small polar bear head instead of a human head-can convince Hansel to follow his dreams again and attempt to become . . . THE HOTTEST GAY MAN EVER KILLED IN A SHARK ATTACK!!! (By the way, yo mama is a character in this book. Yeah. For real. Sorry.) "Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today." -Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High "Douglas Hackle is a 100% certified Angus all-beef patty genius." -Danger Slater, author of Puppet Skin

The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

Ben Smith

Jon Konrath

Adam Millard

Alex Johnson

Ran Cartwright

Arthur Graham

Patrick D'Orazio

D. Wilson

Kevin Strange

Kirk Jones

Vincent Sakowski

Etienne DeForest

D. F. Noble

Tom Bordonaro

Nathaniel Tower

Matt Hlinak

Carbuncle

Rooster Republic's flagship anthology series. Featuring "The Lycanthropic Air Conditioning Folly" by Jon Konrath, "From God's Ass to Your Mouth" by D.F. Noble, and "Vasectomy" by D. Harlan Wilson. The cock shall rise again!

Tall Tales with Short Cocks

Jimmy Green is a middle-aged limousine driver and a devoted fan of the insane TV sitcom Zoltergeist the Poltergeist. Once when he was a boy, Jimmy had an impure thought about the lead singer of The Bangles.After confessing his sin to a drunken priest thirty-five years later, Jimmy is sentenced to six months' penance in an old, isolated house-dubbed Penance House-in the middle of nowhere in rural Ohio. There, sequestered from civilization, Jimmy must repent for his sinful nature or else endure the Everlasting Fires of Hell.As if Penance House weren't creepy, whack, and janked-up enough, Jimmy is forbidden to enter the room at the end of the upstairs hallway. Does something sinister lurk beyond its closed door? And what about that leprechaun he keeps seeing skulking around in the woods?Lucky for Jimmy, he has all forty-nine seasons of Zoltergeist the Poltergeist saved to his laptop to distract himself from his unsettling surroundings. Toward that end, probably the only thing better than rewatching old Zoltergeist episodes would be a visit from the show's enigmatic, titular star itself..."The head honcho of the absurd, the governor of wackiness, the top dog of insanity is back! Intelligent and imbecilic, Douglas Hackle is one of the most unique voices in bizarro fiction. Watch out, 'cause Hackle's brain tissue is coming to town in a sleigh carved out of mad puppets and pulled by alcoholic poltergeists. Dare to see what Douglasgeist Hacklegeist leaves in your socks!" -Zoltán Komor, author of Flamingos in the Ashtray"Zoltergeist the Poltergeist had me laughing, tittering, chortling, and popping out guffaws like nobody's business. It even had me dancing for some reason-like I was listening to the hottest new bizarro track out this summer. Your kids are going to love it and so are you."-Luke Kondor, author of The Run Fantastic

Zoltergeist the Poltergeist

"Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today."-Bradley Sands, author of TV Snorted My BrainWithin the whacked-out worlds of these twisted tales, only one thing remains the same:Everything is better when laced with the tears of a clown...When a sexually adventurous couple decides to spice things up by bringing bees into the mix, they learn it's never wise to dial 811 in case of an emergency. A deadbeat dad gains employment as a lady-in-waiting in a fairytale bromance where every character looks exactly like someone else from John Carpenter's The Thing. The unknowing victim of a cruel prank, a simpleton spends his entire life waiting on a park bench for the hottest girl in school. Using only his twenty-sided die and good old-fashioned D&D magic, a man must continually resurrect the neighborhood kid regularly murdered on his own front lawn. An aging slaughterhouse worker and the iconic figure from Edvard Munch's The Scream hit the clubs every weekend in a vain attempt to get laid.These and many more absurdities await in Clown Tear Junkies, the debut collection from Douglas Hackle.

Clown Tear Junkies

Tim Curran

Kyle M Scott

Book 6 in the Horror Collection contains stories by Tim Curran, Douglas Hackle, Kyle M. Scott, Mike Duke, Zoey Xolton, Natasha Sinclair & Kevin J. Kennedy. We will take you on a trip through hell, to vampire torn lands, find out the perils of collecting too many books and on many more terrifying adventures.

Pink Edition

The Horror Collection

David Fleming

James Steele

Danger Slater

David Raffin

Eirik Gumeny

Nick Cato

John McNee

Donald Armfield

Christy Stewart

Justin Grimbol

Tall Tales with Short Cocks returns with 15 new stories from Bizarro Press. Featuring "The Apple of My iPhone" by Danger Slater, "Laser Tits" by Justin Grimbol, "The Interstellar Quest for Snack Cakes" by Patrick D'Orazio, and many more!

A Bizarro Press Anthology

Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 2

Grady Hendrix

David Atkinson

Jessica McHugh

Ross Lockhart

Bradley Sands

Jeff O'Brien

Casper Kelly

Chanteclaire Coquine

Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 4 - Now with taller tales and shorter cocks!Starring:Casper Kelly - Writing credits include Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Squidbillies, Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell, and many others.Bradley Sands - Author of TV Snorted My Brain, Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy ... Well, you get the point - he's awesome.Ross E. Lockhart - Author of Chick Bassist and editor of The Book of Cthulhu and Tales of Jack the Ripper.Danger Slater - International playboy and secret agent. Responsible for writing DangerRAMA and Love Me, and also seducing yo' momma.Douglas Hackle, AKA "Tha Hustla" - Author of Clown Tear Junkies and contributor to The Surreal Grotesque and certain other e-zines of ill repute.John McNee - The author of Grudgepunk delivers the next highly anticipated story from Grudgehaven.Jessica McHugh - Author of Rabbits in the Garden and Pins, she's also appeared in multiple anthologies including "Death to the Brothers Grimm".Arthur Graham - Just some guy who takes nude photos of himself and edits books on the side.Eirik Gumeny - Author of the Exponential Apocalypse series and former editor of Jersey Devil Press.Jeff O'Brien - To date he has seven books under his belt, including The Splatter House Rules, The Halloween Orgy Massacre, and Bigboobenstein.Grady Hendrix - Has written for Playboy, Slate, the Village Voice, Variety, the New York Post, and now Tall Tales with Short Cocks.Chanteclaire Coquine (pronounced "Cock-Queen") - The granddaughter of a notorious South Texas cockfighting kingpin makes her debut in this volume.David S. Atkinson - author of The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes (spring 2014), Bones Buried in the Dirt, and anything else you're gullible enough to believe if it makes you pick up the restaurant check.

Douglas Hackle

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