Joseph Burgo

Why Do I Do That? adapts the basic strategies of psychodynamic psychotherapy to a guided course in self-exploration, highlighting the universal role of defense mechanisms in warding off emotional pain. With easy-to-understand explanations, the first part teaches you about the unconscious mind and the role of psychological defenses in excluding difficult feelings from awareness. Individual chapters in the longer middle section explore the primary defense mechanisms one by one, with exercises to help you identify your own defenses at work. The final part offers guidance for how to "disarm" your defenses and cope more effectively with the unconscious feelings behind them. Psychological defense mechanisms are an inevitable and necessary part of the human experience; but when they become too pervasive or deeply entrenched, they may damage our personal relationships, restrict or distort our emotional lives and prevent us from behaving in ways that promote lasting self-esteem.

Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives

Why Do I Do That?

An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame—often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism—that offers a new, positive route forward Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us—about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.” Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, author Joseph Burgo argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem. Richly illustrated with clinical stories from Burgo's 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.

Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem

Shame

Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, and remorse are unavoidable in everyday life. Although uncomfortable they often have something to teach us. This family of emotions, collectively known as shame, can help highlight our goals and values, and can be used as a tool for self-knowledge. In this accessible and engaging book psychotherapist Joseph Burgo draws on his 35 years of experience in private practice to reclaim this supposedly toxic emotion and transform it into a force of empowerment. Self-esteem canÕt thrive in the soil of nonstop praise and encouragement. Instead it depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. This intimate look at the spectrum of shame emotions offers a new, positive route forward from shame to joy, dignity, and self-esteem.

Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem

In the tradition of The Sociopath Next Door, clinical psychologist Joseph Burgo’s The Narcissist You Know is a “clear, easily digestible” (Kirkus Reviews) guide to help you identify, disarm, and coexist with extreme narcissists. In today’s social media and selfie-obsessed culture, we are living in an age of narcissism—and a society that often celebrates this potentially harmful trait rather than understanding it as a psychological disorder. Scientists are beginning to learn that narcissism exists on a spectrum—much like autism—and most of us exhibit some mild narcissistic tendencies. But one in twenty people fall into a category the author refers to as Extreme Narcissism, in which these self-absorbed characteristics result in destructive behavior that harms not only the individual but everyone around them, including friends, family, and coworkers. With more than thirty years of experience studying personality disorders and treating extreme narcissists, Dr. Joseph Burgo has developed a useful guidebook to help you “spot narcissists out there in the wild” (Glamour) and then understand and manage the narcissistic personalities in your own life. Relying on detailed profiles, vignettes from the author’s practice, and celebrity biographies, The Narcissist You Know offers easy-to-understand tools and solutions you can use to defuse hostile situations and survive assaults on your self-esteem should you ever find yourself in an extreme narcissist’s orbit.

Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age

The Narcissist You Know

Rather than viewing shame as the opposite of self-esteem, this book shows that building authentic self-esteem depends upon the ability to listen to shame and learn from it.

Joseph Burgo

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