Dr. Robin Stern

How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life

The Gaslight Effect

In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you'll avoid gaslighting relationship. Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time. Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back, you wonder if your mother is right and figure that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism. If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. Are you being gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs: 1) Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse? 2) When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world? 3) Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar? 4) Do you have trouble making simple decisions and constantly second guess yourself? 5) Do you frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to your family and friends? 6) Do you feel hopeless and joyless?

Courtney E. Martin

Written in conjunction with the documentary Rebirth, a full decade in the making, an uplifting look at the lives of nine individuals whose lives were forever changed by the largest tragedy our nation has ever faced. The images of the burning towers, the heartbroken friends building memorials, the minute-by-minute accounts of the horrors of that day-all are indelibly etched on our collective consciousness. But what of those left behind after 9/11? What have they, and we, learned from the gift of time? In Project Rebirth, a psychologist and a journalist examine the lives of nine people who were directly affected by the events of September 11, 2001. Written concurrently with the filming of a forthcoming documentary, it is uniquely positioned to tackle the questions raised about how people react in the face of crippling grief, how you maintain hope for a future when your life as you knew it is destroyed, and the amazing ability of humans to focus on the positive aspects of day-to-day living in the face of tragedy. The project follows people dedicated to rebuilding, both physically and emotionally. Spirituality, resilience, and hope are at the center of their stories. Brian, who lost his firefighter brother, spent two years working at Ground Zero and then helped to rebuild the PATH train station. Tanya, who lost her fiancée on 9/11, finds new love, new life, and joy as a mother in the years following, all doors she thought closed to her forever. Not a book that recounts the events of that day, and not a book about grief, Project Rebirth is a book about resilience and finding inner peace.

Dr. Robin Stern

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