Ellis Weiner

Abigail and John, the Templeton twins, and their dog Cassie, foil a pair of inept kidnappers intent on stealing one of their father's newest inventions.

Book One

The Templeton Twins Have an Idea

Barbara Davilman

Jane is in real estate. Today is Saturday. Jane has an open house. She must schlep the Open House signs to the car. See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep. In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.

Yiddish with Dick and Jane

Howard The Duck

Suppose there were 12-year-old twins, a boy and girl named John and Abigail Templeton. Let's say John was pragmatic and played the drums, and Abigail was theoretical and solved cryptic crosswords. Now suppose their father was a brilliant, if sometime confused, inventor. And suppose that another set of twins—adults—named Dean D. Dean and Dan D. Dean, kidnapped the Templeton twins and their ridiculous dog in order to get their father to turn over one of his genius (sort of) inventions. Yes, kidnapped. Wouldn't it be fun to read about that? Oh please. It would so. Now in paperback, this is just the first in a series perfect for boys and girls who are smart, clever, and funny (just like the twins), and enjoy reading adventurous stories (who doesn't?!). And now, there's more!

Steve Radlauer

If, like most Americans, you think an Ivy League diploma paves the way to Nobel Prizes, Wall Street riches, and a life of prosperity and happiness, think again. Consider these "distinguished" alumni: John Fairbanks (Dartmouth AB, 1946), embezzler Amy Bishop (Harvard Ph.D., 1993), mass murderer Eliot Spitzer (Princeton BA, 1981; Harvard JD, 1984), disgraced NY governor and patron of prostitutes Cardinal Bernard F. Law (Harvard BA, 1952), protector of abusive priests Jeffrey Skilling (Harvard MBA, 1979), felonious Enron CEO Madison Grant (Yale BA, 1887; Columbia LL.B.), eugenicist Ann Coulter (Cornell BA, 1984), professional bully Jonah Lehrer (Columbia BA, 2003), plagiarist Theodore Kaczynski (Harvard BA, 1962), the Unabomber In 85 brief profiles of murderers, rapists, racists, cheaters, lying politicians, slavers, oligarchs, war criminals, traitors, forgers, kiddie-porners, and other moral reprobates, MONSTERS OF THE IVY LEAGUE effectivel--and entertainingly!--bursts the bubble of America's obsession with elite colleges. If, like most Americans, you think an Ivy League diploma paves the way to Nobel Prizes, Wall Street riches, and a life of prosperity and happiness, think again. Consider these "distinguished" alumni: John Fairbanks (Dartmouth AB, 1946), embezzler Amy Bishop (Harvard Ph.D., 1993), mass murderer Eliot Spitzer (Princeton BA, 1981; Harvard JD, 1984), disgraced NY governor and patron of prostitutes Cardinal Bernard F. Law (Harvard BA, 1952), protector of abusive priests Jeffrey Skilling (Harvard MBA, 1979), felonious Enron CEO Madison Grant (Yale BA, 1887; Columbia LL.B.), eugenicist Ann Coulter (Cornell BA, 1984), professional bully Jonah Lehrer (Columbia BA, 2003), plagiarist Theodore Kaczynski (Harvard BA, 1962), the Unabomber In 85 brief profiles of murderers, rapists, racists, cheaters, lying politicians, slavers, oligarchs, war criminals, traitors, forgers, kiddie-porners, and other moral reprobates, MONSTERS OF THE IVY LEAGUE effectively--and entertainingly!--bursts the bubble of America's obsession with elite colleges.

Monsters of the Ivy League

What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality). That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver -- by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms. See George's mother. Her name is Bar. She wears a lot of pearls and is a farbisseneh. "You are late, George," Bar says. "Of course I am late," George says. "I am the President of the United States. I am a big macher." Like all good primers, Yiddish with George and Laura tells a simple story -- and, in the end, important life lessons are imparted.

Yiddish with George and Laura

National Lampoon's Doon

Jane is in real estate. Today is Saturday. Jane has an open house. She must schlep the Open House signs to the car. See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep. In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane -- hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read -- manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude -- part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.

First stop: Harvard or Yale or Princeton or... Next stop: Wall Street riches...house on the Vineyard...vineyard with a house...a Nobel Prize... Not so fast. Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League-universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education-have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?"-or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout-this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things-monstrous things-that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.

I gemelli Templeton hanno un'idea

Immagina due gemelli dodicenni, maschio e femmina, chiamati (rispettivamente) John e Abigail Templeton.Metti che John sia un tipo pragmatico e suoni la batteria, mentre Abigail sia più una teorica appassionata di cruciverba con definizioni a crittogramma. Diamogli un padre brillante inventore, anche se un po’ stralunato. Prendi un’altra coppia di gemelli – adulti, stavolta – chiamati Dan D. Dann e Don D. Dann, che rapiscano i gemelli Templeton e il loro buffissimo cane per farsi consegnare dal padre le sue invenzioni (più o meno) geniali. Sì, li rapiscono proprio. Non sarebbe meraviglioso leggere una storia così? Dài, certo che sì!Per vostra fortuna, questo è solo il primo libro di una fantastica serie per ragazze e ragazzi furbi, intelligenti e simpatici (come i gemelli), che amano leggere libri di avventura (e a chi non piacerebbe?)

A hilarious compendium of traditional wisdom, recipes, and lore from the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane. Modern Jews have forgotten cherished traditions and become, sadly, all- too assimilated. It's enough to make you meshugeneh. Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at Curb Your Enthusiasm- and The Big Jewish Book for Jews is here to help. This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed.

Everything You Need to Know to Be a Really Jewish Jew

The Big Jewish Book for Jews

Arrakandis – die Menschheit nennt ihn Kandis oder den wüsten Planeten. Er ist eine von Zucker bedeckte Einöde, in der es kein Fleisch, dafür aber eine schreckliche Lebensform gibt: gigantische Brezeln.Diese grausame Welt bildet den Hintergrund für ein apokalyptisches Drama:Auf der einen Seite steht der böse Baron Wladimir Hackwonnen – gnadenlos, unersättlich und geradezu unermesslich fett. Sein Gegenspieler: Pall Arthritis, der Teenager, der möglicherweise (oder möglicherweise auch nicht...) der Messias ist. Palls einzige Verbündete sind die Nomadenstämme von Kandis, das stolze, religiöse, Schweißanzug tragende Volk der Femen.Diese Mächte prallen in einem tödlichen Kampf aufeinander, bei dem es um eine wertvolle Substanz geht, die sonst nirgendwo im Universum gefunden wird: sinnesverwirrendes Bier...Ellis Weiners herrliche Parodie auf Frank Herberts Science-Fiction-Epos Der Wüstenplanet wurde im Jahr 1984 in den USA veröffentlicht (zeitgleich mit dem Kino-Start von David Lynchs Dune) und ist nun erstmals seit der zweiten Hälfte der 1980er Jahre wieder in deutscher Sprache erhältlich – vortrefflich übersetzt von Dieter Winkler.

Die Parodie auf DER WÜSTENPLANET

FRANZ UND HERBERT: DER WÜSTE PLANET

With its kid-perfect humor and dynamic illustrations, Book 1 of the hilarious Templeton Twins series left young readers clamoring for more. This time, Abigail and John Templeton find themselves at TAPAS (the Thespian Academy of the Performing Arts and Sciences) where their father, the illustrious Professor Templeton, has been hired to invent a groundbreaking theatrical device. Once again, there is drama (of course!), silliness, and suspense, as the twins (and their ridiculous dog) must thwart the dastardly Dean brothers in order to save the invention as well as their father (and the dog). Oh yes, there is sure to be another recipe. This time for guacamole. Or is it coleslaw?

Ellis Weiner

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