Douglas C. Kenney

Henry Beard

Harvard Lampoon

Two authors from The Harvard Lampoon present a hilarious parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's epic fantasy, The Lord of the Rings. Reprint.

A Parody of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings

Bored of the Rings

The Harvard Lampoon

Presents a parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings."

A Parody

With more than 200,000 copies in print, Latin for All Occasions and its follow-up, Latin for Even More Occasions, have helped scores of readers harness the language of Caesar and Cicero. Impress your boss with Occupational Latin (Lingua Latina Occupationi); sell your product with Sales Latin (Lingua Latina Mercatoria); flirt with your classics professor with Sensual Latin (Lingua Latina Libidinosa); look like the hipster you are with Pop-Cultural Latin (Lingua Latina Popularis); survive the holidays with Familial Latin (Lingua Latina Domestica) and Celebrational Latin (Lingua Latina Festiva). It’s all here, whether you’re a student of the language or just want to talk like one. From cocktail-party banter to climbing the corporate ladder to online dating, Latin for All Occasions features dozens of handy sections, including Las Vegas Latin, Latin for Golfers, Latin for Breakups, Latin for the Politically Correct, and much, much more. In one easy-to-use volume, National Lampoon founder Henry Beard presents hundreds of listings rendered in grammatically accurate classical Latin, with a foolproof pronunciation guide. Who says Latin is a dead language? From the comic genius who brought us X-Treme Latin comes Latin for All Occasions, guaranteed to help readers delight their friends, insult their enemies, and elevate the public discourse.

From Cocktail-Party Banter to Climbing the Corporate Ladder to Online Dating-- Everything You'll Ever Need to Say in Perfect Latin

Latin for All Occasions

This eclectic spoof of self-help books has the popular Miss Piggy offering advice on beauty, etiquette, finances, love, career planning, cooking, travel, and psychological therapy

Miss Piggy's Guide to Life

Presents a complete guide to Buddhism feline style, covering such topics as Horigami, the art of messing up important papers by sitting on them, and Shojin Ryori, macrobiotic food for cats

Zen for Cats

Christopher Cerf

IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL! Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn’t.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy—eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands—are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous— drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans— pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you’re crossing your legs right now, you’re definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)

Encyclopedia Paranoiaca

John Boswell

The acute social observers and satirists responsible for O.J.'s Legal Pad and Latin for All Occasions now use the magic of photo-imagery to recount the timeless tale of the quintessential outsider coping with the harsh reality of New York in the '90s, starring Gus, the lovable and neurotic polar bear of the Central Park Zoo.

The True Story of a Big City Bear

What's Worrying Gus?

Douglas C Kenney

Sometimes childish, rude, clever, and funny, this notorious parody of "The Lord of the Rings" was first published by the Harvard Lampoon in 1969.

From cocktail party chitchat, to bumper stickers, to personal ads--everything you'll ever need to say in perfect Latin! A backlistius bestsellerus.

Spinglish—the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors—is all around us. And the fact is, until you’ve mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day—without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you’ll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here’s the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide—a fictionary, if you will—to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure – face-lift dairy nutrients – cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques – torture “For your convenience.” – “For our convenience.” hands-on mentoring – sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success – failure rightsizing – firing people zero-tasking – doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you’re virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you’ll be telling it like it isn’t, it wasn’t, and it couldn’t ever have been.

The Definitive Dictionary of Deliberately Deceptive Language

Spinglish

Leslie Nielsen

A parody on a popular best-seller draws from the actor's personal experiences as a bad golfer, offering fail-safe advice on how to be the worst of the worst on the green. 75,000 first printing. $75,000 ad/promo. Tour.

Leslie Nielsen's Stupid Little Golf Book

As a serious player, a high handicapper, or simply a baffled onlooker to the awesome nonsense that is golf, have you ever wondered why, say, the golf balls have dimples, and the tee is both the thing you stick in the ground and the place you hit from, and the hole is so small, and the courses have all these big pits full of sand where any sane person would put grass? Well, so did noted humor writer and avid hacker Henry Beard, who brought twenty-first-century computer search-engine technology to bear on this thousand-year-old game, tapping the internet's inherent capacity to confer a thin veneer of authenticity to far-fetched accounts of great moments in the history of golf, warped portraits of its legendary players, and fanciful conjectures about its origins and evolution. Employing an easy-to-read and simple-to-fudge timeline format, he chronicles the amazing process through which this screwy pastime with wacky equipment and loony rules played for penny wagers by a bunch of bored-silly shepherds was gradually transformed into a screwy sport with wacky equipment and loony rules played for million-dollar purses by superstar athletes. As he peers through the mists of time to the birthplace of the game, Beard resolves once and for all its many mysteries, like where those weird-looking pants came from, when the fi rst telling of the "Hit, drag Harry" joke was, what a Stimpmeter is, and who dreamed up the idea of those stupid blimps. Here, then, in one convenient golf-bag-side-pocket-sized volume is a rich, wildly embroidered, ludicrously embellished tapestry of colorful fabrications and highly entertaining but thoroughly dubious speculations that tell the tall tale of golf -- the game that deranged the world.

An Unofficial and Unauthorized History of the World's Most Preposterous Sport

Golf

A humorous guide to the exceptions in the rules of golf, specially created for inept golfers, features drawings illustrating the particular extenuating circumstances the exceptions cover

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf

A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

A whimsical parody of Clement C. Moore's classic holiday poem brings the experience of Christmas Eve to life as seen through the eyes of the family cat. 35,000 first printing.

A Cat's Night Before Christmas

From the puss that munched a thousand mice, to the simple soul who concludes that a furball is a furball is a furball, this is a poetry anthology for cat-lovers.

The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse

Poetry for Cats

A humorous send-up of political correctness in dictionary form

The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook

Ron Barrett

Provides humorous explanations for common conundrums, such as why Chinese food always tastes the same, why the soda machine always eats quarters, and how levers and pulleys actually work

Henry Beard

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