Jessica Lahey

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER In the tradition of Paul Tough’s How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel’s The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults. Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.

How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed

The Gift of Failure

“The Addiction Inoculation is a vital look into best practices parenting. Writing as a teacher, a mother, and, as it happens, a recovering alcoholic, Lahey's stance is so compassionate, her advice so smart, any and all parents will benefit from her hard-won wisdom.” —Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex In this supportive, life-saving resource, the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure helps parents and educators understand the roots of substance abuse and identify who is most at risk for addiction, and offers practical steps for prevention. Jessica Lahey was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her desire to thwart her genetic legacy, she became an alcoholic and didn’t find her way out until her early forties. Jessica has worked as a teacher in substance abuse programs for teens, and was determined to inoculate her two adolescent sons against their most dangerous inheritance. All children, regardless of their genetics, are at some risk for substance abuse. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation’s largest preventable and costly health problem. Despite the existence of proven preventive strategies, nine out of ten adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age eighteen. The Addiction Inoculation is a comprehensive resource parents and educators can use to prevent substance abuse in children. Based on research in child welfare, psychology, substance abuse, and developmental neuroscience, this essential guide provides evidence-based strategies and practical tools adults need to understand, support, and educate resilient, addiction-resistant children. The guidelines are age-appropriate and actionable—from navigating a child’s risk for addiction, to interpreting signs of early abuse, to advice for broaching difficult conversations with children. The Addiction Inoculation is an empathetic, accessible resource for anyone who plays a vital role in children’s lives—parents, teachers, coaches, or pediatricians—to help them raise kids who will grow up healthy, happy, and addiction-free.

Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence

The Addiction Inoculation

The New York Times bestselling, groundbreaking manifesto on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.

Este libro innovador se centra en los años escolares críticos, cuando los padres tienen que aprender a permitir que sus hijos experimenten las desilusiones y las frustraciones producidas a causa de los inevitables problemas de la vida, para que al crecer puedan ser adultos exitosos, fuertes y con una personalidad segura. La crianza de los los hijos en estos tiempos modernos está definida por un nivel sin precedentes de sobreprotección: padres que corren hacia la escuela en cuanto reciben una llamada telefónica para entregar tareas olvidadas, que desafían a los maestros cuando sus hijos reciben malas calificaciones, que controlan las amistades de sus hijos e interfieren en el campo de juego. Tal como lo explica la maestra y escritora Jessica Lahey, aunque estos padres se consideren a sí mismos como padres altamente responsables en cuanto al bienestar de sus hijos, no les dan la oportunidad de experimentar los fracasos… ni tampoco la oportunidad de aprender a resolver sus propios problemas. Los excesos en la crianza de los hijos tienen el potencial de destruir la seguridad de los hijos y de socavar su educación, nos recuerda Lahey. Los maestros no se limitan a enseñar a leer, escribir, sumar y restar. Enseñan responsabilidad, organización, buenos modales, dominio propio y previsión, habilidades importantes que los niños conservan mucho después que abandonan el salón de clases. Proporcionando un camino hacia las soluciones, Lahey desarrolla un estándar con consejos específicos sobre cómo manejar las tareas, los reportes de calificaciones, la dinámica social y los deportes. Pero aún más importante Lahey pone en marcha un plan para ayudar a los padres a contenerse y a aceptar los fracasos de sus hijos. Implacable pero a la vez cálido y lleno de sabiduría, este libro es esencial para padres, educadores y psicólogos que quieren ayudar a los niños a triunfar.

Jessica Lahey

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