Joe Queenan

A leading humorist presents an offbeat analysis of his own eccentric reading style to explain why he avoids acclaimed books, reads several things simultaneously, and refuses to lend out his books.

One for the Books

The Best Bitter, Cynical, and Satirical Writing in the World

The Malcontents

Collection of essays previously published in magazines and newspapers.

Celluloid Tirades and Escapades

Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler

"... how a generation with so much promise lost its way ... a hilarious work of incisive social commentary."--Dust jacket.

a short but self-important history of the baby boomer generation

Balsamic dreams

A Short But Self-Important History of the Baby Boomer Generation

Balsamic Dreams

A Reluctant Anglophile's Pilgrimage to the Mother Country

Queenan Country

By turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Closing Time recounts Joe Queenan’s Irish Catholic upbringing in a family dominated by his erratic father, a violent yet oddly charming emotional terrorist whose alcoholism fuels a limitless torrent of self-pity, railing, destruction, and late-night chats with the Lord Himself. With the help of a series of mentors and surrogate fathers, and armed with his own furious love of books and music, Joe begins the long flight away from the dismal confines of his neighbourhood – with a brief misbegotten stop at a seminary – and into the wider world. Closing Time is an unforgettable account of the damage done to children by parents without futures and of the grace children find to move beyond these experiences. ‘Closing Time is unmistakably a tale of triumph, vindication and revenge . . . [an] enlightening account of the ways in which we are all, to some extent, casualties of our own childhoods.’ Sarah Churchwell, Guardian ‘A brutally executed coming-of-age story’ Esquire ‘Will have readers crying tears of both sorrow and hilarity’ Booklist

A Memoir

Closing Time

A laugh-out-loud collection of reviews, rants and ravings from America's cynic-laureate.In the winter of 1998, armed only with a stopwatch, Queenan risked death as he plunged fully dressed into the icy waters of the Atlantic, in an attempt to prove that Leonardo DiCaprio could not possibly have lasted as long and talked as much as he does at the end of Titanic. It is this cavalier disregard for life and limb that has made him our most beloved, heavily medicated film critic. This wickedly funny book sees Queenan back in the movie theatre, heckling the stars, directors, producers - and audiences - that define today's film industry. With his keen eye for fraud and pomposity, Queenan takes on such lofty subjects as "The Remains of the Dazed" (an informed discussion of the Merchant Ivory duo's oeuvre) and "Hair Force" (a treatise on movie stars with 'hideous, hilarious, or otherwise highly disruptive hairstyles'). And not to be missed - his plunge down a flight of stairs in a wheelchair to see if Mel Gibson's antics in Conspiracy Theory can be duplicated.

A satirical political fable of reincarnation, political ambition, man's folly, and the capricious nature of the universe.

Only the Good Stay Dead

A humorous look at Vice President Quayle discusses wife Marilyn, the ten stupidest people in Washington after Dan Quayle, and other less-than-intelligent V.P.s throughout history.

The Rise of Dan Quayle in America and the Decline and Fall of Practically Everything Else

Imperial Caddy

Christopher Caldwell

Jonah Goldberg

Larry Miller

P. J. O'Rourke

Christopher Buckley

Rob Long

James Lileks

Mollie Hemingway

Andrew Ferguson

Sonny Bunch

David Burge

Michael Graham

Rita Koganzon

Matt Labash

Christine Rosen

Andrew Stiles

An all-star team of eighteen conservative writers offers a hilarious, insightful, sanctimony-free remix of William Bennett’s The Book of Virtues—without parental controls. The Seven Deadly Virtues sits down next to readers at the bar, buys them a drink, and an hour or three later, ushers them into the revival tent without them even realizing it. The book’s contributors include Sonny Bunch, Christopher Buckley, David “Iowahawk” Burge, Christopher Caldwell, Andrew Ferguson, Jonah Goldberg, Michael Graham, Mollie Hemingway, Rita Koganzon, Matt Labash, James Lileks, Rob Long, Larry Miller, P. J. O’Rourke, Joe Queenan, Christine Rosen, and Andrew Stiles. Jonathan V. Last, senior writer at the Weekly Standard, editor of the collection, is also a contributor. All eighteen essays in this book are appearing for the first time anywhere. In the book’s opening essay, P. J. O’Rourke observes: “Virtue has by no means disappeared. It’s as much in public view as ever. But it’s been strung up by the heels. Virtue is upside down. Virtue is uncomfortable. Virtue looks ridiculous. All the change and the house keys are falling out of Virtue’s pants pockets.” Here are the virtues everyone (including the book’s contributors) was taught in Sunday school but have totally forgotten about until this very moment. In this sanctimony-free zone: • Joe Queenan observes: “In essence, thrift is a virtue that resembles being very good at Mahjong. You’ve heard about people who can do it, but you’ve never actually met any of them.” • P. J. O’Rourke notes: “Fortitude is quaint. We praise the greatest generation for having it, but they had aluminum siding, church on Sunday, and jobs that required them to wear neckties or nylons (but never at the same time). We don’t want those either.” • Christine Rosen writes: “A fellowship grounded in sociality means enjoying the company of those with whom you actually share physical space rather than those with whom you regularly and enthusiastically exchange cat videos.” • Rob Long offers his version of modern day justice: if you sleep late on the weekend, you are forced to wait thirty minutes in line at Costco. • Jonah Goldberg offers: “There was a time when this desire-to-do-good-in-all-things was considered the only kind of integrity: ‘Angels are better than mortals. They’re always certain about what is right because, by definition, they’re doing God’s will.’ Gabriel knew when it was okay to remove a mattress tag and Sandalphon always tipped the correct amount.” • Sonny Bunch dissects forbearance, observing that the fictional Two Minutes Hate of George Orwell’s 1984 is now actually a reality directed at living, breathing people. Thanks, in part, to the Internet, “Its targets are designated by a spontaneously created mob—one that, due to its hive-mind nature—is virtually impossible to call off.” By the time readers have completed The Seven Deadly Virtues, they won’t even realize that they’ve just been catechized into an entirely different—and better—moral universe.

18 Conservative Writers on Why the Virtuous Life is Funny as Hell

The Seven Deadly Virtues

A riotously funny, razor-sharp indictment of America's cultural wasteland by one of its most merciless critics.

Joe Queenan's America

Red Lobster, White Trash, & the Blue Lagoon

The author of the bestselling Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon takes aim at the boomer generation in a hilarious work of social commentary. It's become fashionable to vilify baby boomers. Professional iconoclast and baby boomer Joe Queenan, however, takes a somewhat more benign position: Yes, the baby boomers are venal, self-obsessed egomaniacs blighted by an insalubrious interest in things like the provenance of their neighbors' balsamic vinegar. But this does not make them the "worst generation" -- it just makes them the most annoying. In Balsamic Dreams, Queenan chronicles the evolution of his generation and critiques its current condition in chapters such as: --J'Accuse: a bold indictment of the boomers' greatest transgressions, past and present --Ten Days That Rocked the World: in which Queenan identifies the precise moments things went awry (#1: the release of Carole King's Tapestry) --Careful, the Staff Might Hear You: an examination of the unspoken, nefarious alliance between baby boomers and Generation X --American History: The B-Sides: an alternative version of the Republic as played out with baby boomers in the starring roles A measured (if a tad cranky) assessment of a generation whose greatest sin lies in confusing lifestyle for life and pop culture for culture, Balsamic Dreams is fresh, funny, and irresistible.

A film critic offers an account of the art of low-budget moviemaking, from financing to writing, directing, scoring, casting, and marketing

The Unkindest Cut

Years upon years of being unspeakably nasty to icons as diverse as Jimmy Carter, Barbra Streisand, and even Mother Nature herself had taken its toll on Joe Queenan. The man all editors turned to when they needed a book, film, or tv program savaged was tired of being so mean. He wanted to be more like Susan Sarandon. Or Sting. Determined to mend his ways, Queenan embarked on the most difficult task of his career: he decided to become a nice person. Now available in paperback, My Goodness is the side-splitting result of Queenans attempted transformation: from his use of animal-friendly Body Shop goods to his letter of apology to Jackie Collins after a scathing review of her latest book; from his quest to save the whales to his quest to save Linda Tripages.

B. Z. Niditch

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