John Gottman

Doug Abrams

Rachel Carlton Abrams

Julie Schwartz Gottman

Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved.

Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Eight Dates

A great "philosopher" once said, "Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 9." But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And arguably there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the bestselling 7 principles of Making Marriage Work. His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist, and Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottman's popular couple's workshops and the "love lab" at the University of Washington. It's written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair. The Man's Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in a man? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive, and helps men hone those skills to be the man she desires.

Scientifically Proven Secrets from the "Love Lab" About What Women Really Want

The Man's Guide to Women

Joan DeClaire

John M. Gottman

The experts at the Love Lab introduce a series of effective tools and practical steps for couples looking to improve or preserve their relationships, explaining how to identify common problems and to develop positive ways to avoid these destructive pitfalls. Reprint. 40,000 first printing.

America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

From the leading research scientist on marriage and family and author of the million-copy bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, a program of eight lively, conversation-based dates for couples to capture essential conversations for a lifetime of love and commitment.

From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

John Mordechai Gottman

Introduces the skills couples need to make the transition to parenthood, using practical advice and real-life examples to discuss how to avoid relationship meltdown, maintain a healthy sex life, and create a nurturing environment.

The Six-step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

And Baby Makes Three

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy

Douglas Carlton Abrams

Was sich Frauen wirklich wünschen Die meisten Partnerschaftsratgeber sind für Frauen geschrieben – für John Gottman ist das, als würde man eine Operation am offenen Herzen ausführen – nur leider am falschen Patienten. Denn wie er in seinem bekannten „Love Lab” herausgefunden hat, sind es eher die Männer, die Beziehungstipps benötigen: Was Männer sagen oder tun beziehungsweise was sie nicht sagen oder nicht tun, ist der entscheidende Faktor, ob eine Beziehung erfolgreich ist oder scheitert. John Gottman und seine Frau Julie Schwartz Gottman haben in über 40 Jahren Tausende von Paaren und ihre Interaktion erforscht und dabei zwei der größten Beziehungsrätsel gelöst: was wir attraktiv finden und wie wir eine glückliche Ehe führen. Ihr neues Buch, das sie zusammen mit den erfolgreichen Autoren Doug Abrams und Rachel Carlton Abrams geschrieben haben, widmen sie nun ganz ihren männlichen Lesern. Dabei ist „Beziehung ist Männersache” kein Pick-up-Manual, sondern ein fundierter Ratgeber, der jedem Mann hilft, erfolgreicher mit Frauen umzugehen – sei es in einer bestehenden Beziehung oder bei der Suche nach der passenden Partnerin: Was finden die meisten Frauen bei Männern attraktiv? Wie kann Mann die Skills verbessern, die sie sich wünscht? Das und vieles mehr (wie besserer Sex und größere Zufriedenheit in der Partnerschaft) haben das Autorenteam in einem praktischen und dabei lockeren Buch zusammengefasst.

Was Frauen von ihrem Partner wirklich wollen

Beziehung ist Männersache

In jeder Partnerschaft finden neben kleineren auch größere Konflikte statt. Doch nur ein Drittel davon lassen sich tatsächlich dauerhaft lösen. Es ist daher sinnvoller, seine Energie und Zeit nicht damit zu vergeuden, bestimmte Probleme unbedingt lösen zu wollen, sondern mit ihnen konstruktiv umzugehen. Denn nur auf diese Weise lässt sich langfristig eine wirklich glückliche Beziehung führen – trotz der Konflikte. Die international erfolgreichen Paartherapeuten John und Julie Gottman haben im Laufe zahlreicher Studien die fünf typischsten Beziehungskonflikte herausgefiltert und zeigen in ihrem Buch, wie man sie entweder vermeidet oder lernt, auf Dauer mit ihnen umzugehen. Denn nur so kann man als Paar an ihnen wachsen.

... und wie die Liebe daran wachsen kann | Wie jede Partnerschaft die fünf häufigsten Konflikte vermeidet oder lernt, auf Dauer mit ihnen umzugehen

5 Konflikte, die jedem Paar begegnen

In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto— made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Giving an insider’s view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples’ conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples’ interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By “listening” to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and—most important—how to avoid them. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading. From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the “Love Lab”: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage “We don’t feel close anymore.” “You never talk to me.” “We only have time for the kids.” “All you do is work.” “You don’t care about my dreams.” Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problems—but what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties don’t have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You’ll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.

Case Studies and Advice from the Nation's Premier Relationship Experts

10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

John Schwartz Gottman

World-renowned relationships experts, Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman, bring decades of their ground-breaking research on the science of love to the urgent and timely topic of conflict. Conflict is the number one reason that couples seek help and resources. Fight Right will teach you how to avoid the five critical mistakes that couples often make during conflict, and instead, teach you how to 'fight right' and use conflict as an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love. Using decades of research, compelling case studies and a new international study, the Gottmans prove that even couples who are truly struggling in conflict and have really lost their way are able to recover and find their way back to each other. For those couples in crisis, or those who want to change their relationship dynamic, Fight Right is the go-to guide to understanding how to fight better, offering urgent and perennial lessons for healthy conflict. 'Couples today really need clear, compassionate, and science-based guidance in this arena, and as the world's leading love experts, the Gottmans are the trusted voice to guide them' Jay Shetty, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk

How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection

Fight Right

Douglas Abrams

Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D.

Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.

Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want

John Gottman, PhD

Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: • maintaining intimacy and romance • replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation • preventing post-partum depression • creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.

The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

The Marriage Clinic Casebook bridges the gap between the powerful theory behind Gottman Method Couples Therapy and the unique application of therapeutic principles to real-life cases. Covering a broad range of couples as well as a variety of relational problems, this casebook is a resource for clinicians who want practical guidance for putting the powerful Gottman method to work.

The Marriage Clinic Casebook

John and Julie Gottman, world-renowned for bringing an evidence base to couples therapy, report here the results of a second empirical revolution in understanding couples and families. This change is not based on their guesswork, but on state-of-the-art science. The book you hold in your hands finally completes the old general systems theory of the 1960s, which metaphorically described processes but did not actually research them. A new general systems theory and therapy is presented here, one which will have profound implications for powerful clinical work with both couples and families. This new theory is based on 45 years of careful basic scientific research with thousands of couples and families, including synchronized observational, interview, physiological, and questionnaire data. The Gottmans have studied some families for as long as 20 consecutive years. Their work has led to their highly replicated ability to precisely predict the future of relationships, relationship happiness, and whether couples will divorce or not with as much as 94% accuracy. Their empirical work has also led them to develop and test a theory of specifically what makes relationships work. Each construct in this theory is precise and measurable and it is all written about and described here. This book presents an original new way of understanding relationships and families. Both theoretical and highly practical, and it will help clinicians become more effective in their everyday work.

Julie Schwartz Gottman

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