Kate Fagan

*Instant New York Times Bestseller* The #1 New York Times Monthly Sports and Fitness bestseller From noted ESPN commentator and journalist Kate Fagan, the heartbreaking and vital story of college athlete Madison Holleran, whose death by suicide rocked the University of Pennsylvania campus and whose life reveals with haunting detail and uncommon understanding the struggle of young people suffering from mental illness today. If you scrolled through the Instagram feed of 19-year-old Maddy Holleran, you would see a perfect life: a freshman at an Ivy League school, recruited for the track team, who was also beautiful, popular, and fiercely intelligent. This was a girl who succeeded at everything she tried, and who was only getting started. But when Maddy began her long-awaited college career, her parents noticed something changed. Previously indefatigable Maddy became withdrawn, and her thoughts centered on how she could change her life. In spite of thousands of hours of practice and study, she contemplated transferring from the school that had once been her dream. When Maddy's dad, Jim, dropped her off for the first day of spring semester, she held him a second longer than usual. That would be the last time Jim would see his daughter. WHAT MADE MADDY RUN began as a piece that Kate Fagan, a columnist for espnW, wrote about Maddy's life. What started as a profile of a successful young athlete whose life ended in suicide became so much larger when Fagan started to hear from other college athletes also struggling with mental illness. This is the story of Maddy Holleran's life, and her struggle with depression, which also reveals the mounting pressures young people, and college athletes in particular, face to be perfect, especially in an age of relentless connectivity and social media saturation.

The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen

What Made Maddy Run

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo meets First Lie Wins in this electric, voice-driven debut novel about an elusive bestselling author who decides to finally confess her true identity after years of hiding from her past.

Cate Kay knows how to craft a story. As the creator of a bestselling book trilogy that struck box office gold as a film series, she’s one of the most successful authors of her generation. The thing is, Cate Kay doesn’t really exist. She’s never attended author events or granted any interviews. Her real identity had been a closely guarded secret, until now.

As a young adult, she and her best friend Amanda dreamed of escaping their difficult homes and moving to California to become movie stars. But the day before their grand adventure, a tragedy shattered their dreams and Cate has been on the run ever since, taking on different names and charting a new future. But after a shocking revelation, Cate understands that returning home is the only way she’ll be a whole person again.

The Three Lives of Cate Kay

Growing up, Kate Fagan and her father forged their relationship on the basketball court. They were an inseparable pair, two kindred spirits bonded together by sweaty high fives, and an unflappable dedication to the New York Knicks. But as Kate grew older and life added complications to both her love of sport and her role as a daughter, they drifted apart -relying on a yearly pair of matching sneakers to remind each other of their connection. When Christopher, Kate's 6'5" athletic father, was diagnosed with ALS they embarked on a new, entirely uncharted chapter of their relationship. Kate took on the role of full-time caregiver, watching over her father like he had done for her, until his eventual assisted death. And yet while enduring the painful experience of witnessing her idol's rapid deterioration, Kate reconnected with her father to find an even deeper, more meaningful relationship. At its heart, this is a love story between Kate and her dad, the lessons learned, and, ultimately, how his debilitating disease made her reconsider their powerful relationship, along with her own life choices. A perfect meeting of TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE and RUNNING HOME, UNTITLED MEMOIR is written for the women who found their dad on the court, track, pitch, or field. It is an ode to the unbreakable bond between father and daughter and the invaluable understanding they share.

A Father, a Daughter, and a Lifetime of Lessons

All the Colors Came Out

It’s hard enough coming out, but playing basketball for a nationally ranked school and trying to figure out your sexual identity in the closeted and paranoid world of big-time college sports—that’s a challenge. Kate Fagan’s love for basketball and for her religious teammates at the University of Colorado was tested by the gut-wrenching realization that she could no longer ignore the feelings of otherness inside her. In trying to blend in, Kate had created a hilariously incongruous world for herself in Boulder. Her best friends were part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where they ran weekly Bible studies and attended an Evangelical Free Church. For nearly a year, Kate joined them and learned all she could about Christianity—even holding their hands as they prayed for others “living a sinful lifestyle.” Each time the issue of homosexuality arose, she felt as if a neon sign appeared over her head, with a giant arrow pointed downward. During these prayer sessions, she would often keep her eyes open, looking around the circle at the closed eyelids of her friends, listening to the earnestness of their words. Kate didn’t have a vocabulary for discussing who she really was and what she felt when she was younger; all she knew was that she had a secret. In The Reappearing Act, she brings the reader along for the ride as she slowly accepts her new reality and takes the first steps toward embracing her true self.

Kate Fagan

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