Mark Leyner

This hysterical work is also a book about the deep pleasures of reading and drinking, the tumultuous reign of a cabal of mystic mobsters, and the transcendent love of a father for his daughter.

Last Orgy of the Divine Hermit

From the bestselling and wildly imaginative novelist Mark Leyner, a romp through the excesses and exploits of gods and mortals. High above the bustling streets of Dubai, in the world's tallest and most luxurious skyscraper, reside the gods and goddesses of the modern world. Since they emerged 14 billion years ago from a bus blaring a tune remarkably similar to the Mister Softee jingle, they've wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. Unable to control their jealousies, the gods have splintered into several factions, led by the immortal enemies XOXO, Shanice, La Felina, Fast-Cooking Ali, and Mogul Magoo. Ike Karton, an unemployed butcher from New Jersey, is their current obsession. Ritualistically recited by a cast of drug-addled bards, THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK is Ike's epic story. A raucous tale of gods and men confronting lust, ambition, death, and the eternal verities, it is a wildly fun, wickedly fast gambol through the unmapped corridors of the imagination.

A Novel

The Sugar Frosted Nutsack

The blazingly inventive, fictional autobiography of Mark Leyner, one of America's "rare, true original voices." (Gary Shteyngart) Dizzyingly brilliant and raucously funny, GONE WITH THE MIND is the story of Mark Leyner's life, told as only Mark Leyner can. In this utterly unconventional, autobiographical novel, Mark Leyner gives a reading in the food court of a mall. Besides Mark's mother, who's driven him to the mall and introduces him before he begins, and a few employees of fast food chain Panda Express who ask a handful of questions, the reading is completely without audience. The action of GONE WITH THE MIND takes place exclusively at the food court, but the territory covered on these pages has no bounds. Existential, self-aware, and very much concerned with the relationship between a complicated mother and an even more complicated son, Leyner's story--with its bold, experimental structure--is a moving work of genius.

Gone with the Mind

A kinetic, humorous novel captures the follies and foibles of the 1990s

Et Tu, Babe

The author offers a novel featuring his drug-addled, thirteen-year-old alter ego, who seduces a female warden in order to insure his felonious father's execution

The Tetherballs of Bougainville

Billy Goldberg

The authors of Why Do Men Have Nipples? continues their hilarious look at the world of health with an all-new compilation of zany questions about unmentionable body parts, bodily functions, embarrassing body oddities, and more. Original. 300,000 first printing.

Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?

A collection of short stories addresses such topics as senatorial tatoos, extraterrestrials, dating Princess Diana, and body building

Tooth Imprints on a Corn Dog

Contains comic, postmodern sketches based largely on the life of the author--including an invitation from his gastroenterologist cousin to London--and late twentieth-century pop culture.

My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist

Perché i maschi hanno i capezzoli?

You know how it is . . . you're at a party, you've had a drink or two and then someone introduces you to a friend. He's a doctor. And it seems like the perfect time to ask all those strange questions you've always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask: Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin? What are goosebumps? Why does asparagus make your wee smell? Why do old people get hairy ears? Is it possible to lose your contact lenses inside your head for ever? Why do some people have an 'outie' belly button and some people an 'innie'? Does warm milk really help you sleep? Is it actually possible to get scared to death? This book gives the answers to these and many more questions - pretty much everything you've ever wanted to know - but never had enough Dutch courage to ask!

Things You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Gin ‘n' Tonic

Why Do Men Have Nipples?

A community theater's production of Special Yearnings triggers a string of underground nuclear explosions from St. Louis to Worcester, Massachusetts. A man frantically swats at the blaze that his girlfriend has ignited in his trousers, while her family tries to figure out whether his agonized sign language means "Under the Volcano" or "No Time for Sergeants." Charo, Marianne Faithfull, and Napoleon's sister swap glittering witticisms and pornographic come-ons with languid aesthetes and unhinged suburbanites. Such scenarios are just par for the course in this gloriously disorienting volume by Mark Leyner, author of My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist and Et Tu, Babe, and a writer who plays the English language the way Jimi Hendrix played the guitar: at blinding speed, dangerous volume, and with a perfect mixture of lyricism and sheer menace.

And Other Stories

I Smell Esther Williams

Hundreds of questions you'd only ask your doctor after your third martini! You know how it is... you're at a party, you've had a drink or two, and then someone introduces you to a friend. He's a doctor. And it seems like the perfect time to ask all those strange questions you've always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask: Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin? What are goosebumps? Why does asparagus make your wee smell? Why do old people get hairy ears? Is it possible to lose your contact lenses inside your head forever? Why do some people have an "outie" belly button and some people an "innie"? Does warm milk really help you sleep? Is it actually possible to get scared to death? This book gives the answer to these and many more questions - pretty much everything you've ever wanted to know - but never had enough Dutch courage to ask!

Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

I Smell Esther Williams and Other Stories

Sento odore di Esther Williams

Welcome to Mark Leyner's America, where you can order gallium arsenide sushi at a roadside diner, get loaded on a cocktail of growth hormones and anabolic steroids, and support your habit by appearing on TV game shows. Welcome to a wildly post-Einsteinian fictional universe where the locals include a speech pathologist with a waterbug fetish, a kamikaze airline pilot, and the lead singer for Brazil's most notoriously nihilistic samba band.

A novel

Billy Goldberg, M.D.

The Doctor Is In . . . Again! Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? No, you say? Well, good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are in! Again! Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., now take on the differences between the sexes—those burning questions like Why doesn’t my husband ever listen? or Why does my wife ALWAYS have to pee? And of course, Why do men fall asleep after sex?, plus plenty of others to keep you fully informed. Full of smart and funny answers to an onslaught of new questions, all in a do-ask-we’ll-tell spirit that entertain and teaches you something at the same time, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? offers the real lowdown on everything everyone wants to know about all things anatomical, medical, sexual, nutritional, animal, and mineral, but would only ask a physician after a few too many, like: • Why do you have a “bionic” sense of smell when you’re pregnant? • Does peeing in the shower cure athlete’s foot? • Is a dog’s mouth clean? • Can you breastfeed with fake boobs? • Does thumb sucking cause buckteeth? • Do your eyebrows grow back if shaved? Bigger, funnier, and better than ever, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? proves that in the battle of the sexes, as in most things, a little Q&A is a safe, effective, minimally invasive remedy. Also available as an eBook

Mark Leyner

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