Mary A. Languirand

Robert F. Bornstein

Asking for help does not mean we are helpless. This is one of the main principles of what the authors call ''connection-based thinking'' - the most important Healthy Dependency skill, which will help us better to meet life's challenges. In this groundbreaking book, the authors clearly lay out the priniciples and hte four-step action program they developed to help us grow stronger by reaching out to others. They write that it's time to move beyond society's not-so-subtle message that depending on people is wrong - that ''mature'' adults somehow manage everything on their own in a complex, challenging world. Their more than twenty years of research and study prove that too much dependency in our relationships - whether with family, friends, lovers, or co-workers - can be a bad thing, but too little dependency is just as bad. To achieve a balance and better define this flexible middle ground between rigid independence and unhealthy overdependence, Dr. Bornstein coined the phrase ''Healthy Dependency'' and, with his colleague and wife, has written the definitive book on the subject. Laced with case studies, anecdotes, and questionnaires, Healthy Dependency gives us the skill-building tools to help us change the way we think about ourselves and others. Among the benefits are increased satisfaction in love relationships, greater likelihood of academic and career success, better family communication, improved parenting skills, and enhanced physical and psychological health.

Mary A. Languirand

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