Michele Filgate

ONE OF NPR’S BEST BOOKS OF 2019 *Most Anticipated Reads of 2019 by Publishers Weekly, BuzzFeed, The Rumpus, Lit Hub, The Week, and Elle.com* Fifteen brilliant writers explore what we don’t talk to our mothers about, and how it affects us, for better or for worse. As an undergraduate, Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather. It took her more than a decade to realize what she was actually trying to write: how this affected her relationship with her mother. When it was finally published, the essay went viral, shared on social media by Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnit, and many others. The outpouring of responses gave Filgate an idea, and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers. While some of the writers in this book are estranged from their mothers, others are extremely close. Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom. In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece, she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering (but lovable) father. André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother. Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close-knit relationship with her psychotherapist mother. And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything. As Filgate writes, “Our mothers are our first homes, and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them.” There’s relief in breaking the silence. Acknowledging what we couldn’t say for so long is one way to heal our relationships with others and, perhaps most important, with ourselves. Contributors include Cathi Hanauer, Melissa Febos, Alexander Chee, Dylan Landis, Bernice L. McFadden, Julianna Baggott, Lynn Steger Strong, Kiese Laymon, Carmen Maria Machado, André Aciman, Sari Botton, Nayomi Munaweera, Brandon Taylor, and Leslie Jamison.

Fifteen Writers Break the Silence

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About

Una íntima exploración sobre lo que no hablamos con nuestras madres y cómo nos afecta, para bien y para mal. Aunque sea por un instante, todo ser humano tiene una madre. Tan diversa y complicada como las personas mismas, esa conexión madre-hijo nos forja; es medular. En esta colección de ensayos, 17 voces literarias presentan una introspección a corazón abierto sobre lo que significa ser hijo o hija. Cada ensayo es un momento para sentir y reflexionar, para analizar de manera más profunda el vínculo individual que tenemos con nuestras propias madres. André Aciman, autor de Llámame por tu nombre, habla sobre su infancia como hijo de una madre sorda; la mexicana Orly Beigel escribe en un ensayo especial para esta edición sobre lo que significa ser hija de una sobreviviente del Holocausto, mientras que Melissa De Haene, mexicana también, narra cómo tras el divorcio de sus padres, la relación con su madre nunca volvió a ser la misma. En palabras de Filgate: "Nuestras madres son nuestros primeros hogares y esa es la razón por la que siempre intentamos regresar a ellas". Hay alivio al romper el silencio. Reconocer lo que no pudimos decir durante tanto tiempo es una forma de sanar nuestras relaciones con los demás y, quizás aun más importante, con nosotros mismos.

Michele Filgate

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