Jilly Gagnon

Mike MacDonald

Dating

Choose Your Own Misery

Make choices and follow various paths through office/life scenes.

The office adventure

Energy Is Everything: Mindset, Nutrition & Exercise for the best version of you is a book aimed to help you look, feel and perform at your best. Rather than the tired old health messages you've heard a million times before, Mike MacDonald blends his own experience, lessons from working with real clients, and the latest scientific research to outline a path to your best self. 4 Important Insights You'll Learn: 1. Mindset: How the old model of motivation is flawed and what you really need to do to finally escape those stop-start cycles and create lasting change in how you look, feel and perform. 2. Nutrition: Not just what to eat, but how. How to cut through the confusion. How modern foods drive cravings. How to regain control over your eating behaviours and the surprising ways our environment shapes our food choices. 3. Exercise: Most people are doing it wrong ...or not at all! You'll learn why the conventional approach to weight loss always fails. You'll discover a new perspective of exercise and learn the most effective way to exercise for fat loss. 4. And then some: it's not just diet and exercise. You learn several forgotten ways to improve your sense of wellbeing and happiness, and will discover a clear path to having more energy in life: to look, feel and perform at your best. “Mike is inspirational and realistic, illustrating his approach with tales of success and lessons learned when things didn't go to plan. His book provides an excellent framework of simple strategies that can be applied to your lifestyle to improve your health, your mind-set and your body.” Scott Baptie Director of Food For Fitness, Physique & Sports Nutrition Specialist, “I first met Mike MacDonald at one of my mentorships a few years back. What struck me about him was his positive energy, faith, attitude, and true desire to help people. In his new book, Energy Is Everything: Mindset, Nutrition & Exercise for the best version of you, Mike does an extraordinary job educating, motivating, and inspiring you to improve your overall health & fitness. This book is a gem that is going to truly help you live your best life. It will undoubtedly improve your health & fitness and “Get your mind right.” Todd Durkin, MA, CSCS, Owner, Fitness Quest 10 (San Diego, CA), Author, The IMPACT! Body Plan Lead Training Advisor, Under Armour “This book makes accessible much of the academic literature on key areas of importance for active people. Written in an easy-going manner, and enriched with thought-provoking quotations from a wide literature, Mike MacDonald has brought us much more than the three themes of mind, nutrition and movement. Rather he has braided them into a strong cord which powers a lifestyle approach, which exceeds the sum of its parts. Accepting his thesis for enhancing performance, the reader can expect a range of long term dividends across a wider health domain, beyond the vanity of appearance and the preoccupation with body weight.” Dr Arthur Stewart Institute of Health and Welfare Research Robert Gordon University “Mike hits the nail on the head with "Energy Is Everything" - consistently I see the common denominator of those people that succeed in dropping weight, completing marathons or generally achieving their goals is the energy they bring to the table. To have that energy we must both be mindful in our approach to health and wellbeing but also cut ourselves some slack from time to time - being miserable because you ate a chocolate bar last night is not going to help anyone! Life is for living and energy really is everything - this book provides some great tips and advice on exercise, nutrition and wellbeing from a holistic point of view. This easy to read book is a must for anyone looking to be healthy and happy.” Louise Kochalski Owner and Director of Training The Health and Human Performance Centre

Mindset, Nutrition and Exercise for the Best Version of You

Energy Is Everything

This is the year you're going to do it: you're going to avoid Christmas completely! ...or you were, until your island getaway got washed out by a hurricane. Now you have to choose: should you spend the holiday with your shrewish sister and her Europhile husband, or endure the icy judgment of a woman who thinks only children and pussies help bake cookies? Jet off to the glamorous slums of Kingston, Jamaica, or accept the offer of a ride from a man who never stops smiling... and is probably going to turn you into a skin suit? From the writers who brought you the hilarious parody 'Choose your own misery: the office' comes a second helping of misery with a festive twist. Christmas is full of fun surprises for kids, but for adults, it's just an endless series of aggressive crowds, overwhelming credit card debt, and pretending to like the people you're forced to spend it with. Once you unwrap all the holiday misery hiding in these pages, the blackness of your heart will rival any lump of coal.

The Holidays

You have endless choices...but few real options. Hungover and stuck at a job you hate, will you show up for your big presentation, or duck out with Debby, the HR rep with an FDR fetish? Play the weird lump on your back for office-wide sympathy, or dive into an internet spiral that can only end in “ten kinds of cancer”? Tell someone about the weird genital-fondling that’s happening at the crystal healer’s, or just accept that this is the best substitute you’ll find for love, today...or maybe ever? From two comedy writers and former contributors to THE ONION comes a parody of a choose-your-own-adventure tale?the story of your soul-crushing existence. Having choices is great when you’re a kid, but in the adult world, the only options are endless varieties of misery. It’s okay, though. A life of adventure would require so many uncomfortable sleeping situations. Besides, you have dental. Keep reminding yourself about the dental. “Hell, the only reason for going to work is to goof-off reading Jilly Gagnon's and Mike MacDonald's book, Choose Your Own Misery: The Office!”—E. Jean Carroll, former writer for SNL “Choose Your Own Misery: The Office [is] the most addictive, clever, and honestly hilarious decision tree you've ever read.”—Zack Bornstein, segment director at Jimmy Kimmel Live "Sorry, I've been spending every waking hour lost in your maddening madcap narrative labyrinth. I'll try to send a blurb for the book by the deadline!"—Jamie Brew, Associate Editor at Clickhole "It’s time for you to choose your own miserable adventure, just like you do every day of your miserable life, but now in hilarious book form!”—Nate Dern, Head Writer for Funny or Die "Oh, how I laughed at this droll little book. Then, slowly but irreversibly, it filled me up with dread."—Jesse Andrews, author of the NY Times Bestselling ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL “Choose Your Own Misery: The Office is a bittersweet, brutal, and frequently hilarious twist on the childhood classics.”—NERDIST.COM “[Choose Your Own Misery: The Office] is one of the few books I’ve made sure to bring with me to show others when going out... even though filled with miserable and sometimes darker choices, [it] is definitely one of the funniest books I’ve read lately.”—TECHAERIS “In their rip-roaringly funny book, Choose Your Own Misery: The Office, the two Onion alums make a dark and decidedly adult play on beloved childhood "choose your own adventure" novels...[Choose Your Own Misery] may be the funniest book released this year.”—NEWSWEEK This book is a parody. It was not authorized by Chooseco, the publisher of Choose Your Own Adventure. Choose Your Own Adventure is a registered trademark of Chooseco LLC.

The Office

“Bah! Humbug! An ideal choice for holiday haters and readers who enjoy David Sedaris’s hysterically funny take, Holidays on Ice” (Library Journal). From two alumni of The Onion, this is part of the hilarious series “for former Choose Your Own Adventure fans and devotees of dark, dark humor” (Publishers Weekly). This is the year you’re going to do it: you’re going to avoid Christmas completely! . . . or you were, until your island getaway got washed out by a hurricane. Now you have to choose: should you spend the holiday with your shrewish sister and her Europhile husband, or endure your new girlfriend’s family for a week? Help chop down a tree even though it might throw out your back, or endure the icy judgment of a woman who thinks only children and pussies help bake cookies? Jet off to the glamorous slums of Kingston, Jamaica, or accept the offer of a ride from a man who never stops smiling . . . and is probably going to turn you into a skin suit? From the writers who brought you the hilarious parody Choose Your Own Misery: The Office comes a second helping of misery with a festive twist. Christmas is full of fun surprises for kids, but for adults, it’s just an endless series of aggressive crowds, overwhelming credit card debt, and pretending to like the people you’re forced to spend it with. Once you unwrap all the holiday misery hiding in these pages, the blackness of your heart will rival any lump of coal. “I played this book thirty times and the happiest ending I got was one where I got to eat turkey with a badly burned hand. Seems about right. Hilarious every time.” —Ryan North, New York Times–bestselling author of Romeo And/Or Juliet

Mike MacDonald

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