Naomi Stadlen

Stadlen presents a heartfelt and incisive examination of mothers' inner lives, revealing the vital worth of quiet (and not so quiet) time devoted to a baby. A psychotherapist specializing in parenting issues, founder of the London-based weekly discussion group Mothers Talking, and a La Leche League breastfeeding counselor, the author quotes a range of mothers throughout, exploring their feelings about their roles as nurturers and caregivers. She notes that though these women may often feel lonely, invisible and unimportant, "the whole of civilization depends on the work of mothers." Still, she writes, many women (and men) are unprepared for their responsibilities as parents; although they put much effort into readying for birth, many are anxious and confused as well as shocked and exhausted when it comes to actually raising a child. Stadlen gives credit to the women who slow their days to match their baby's pace, become continuously "interruptible" and offer constant and unconditional love. Though the narrative meanders at times, mothers will relate to the voices of the women, and take comfort in Stadlen's kudos. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Especially when it Looks Like Nothing

What Mothers Do

Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day? Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom.

What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing

'Naomi writes so gently; her words are a soothing balm in these months of confusion . . . Thank you, Naomi, for your wise words' JUNO 'Essential reading for mothers' Breastfeeding Today It is amazing to listen to mothers and hear how much they learn. Each mother learns different things - some practical, some mysterious. However, some common patterns come through. Mothers learn that: *Mothering is more than baby- and childcare. *Babies can't talk but they can communicate. *Mothers are 'in conversation' with their babies. *Through their babies, mothers learn about themselves. *Mothers form families based on their own values. *The role of fathers is in the middle of a major change. *The reasons for maternal anger need to be understood. *Mothers can still be feminists. *Part of mothering is a spiritual experience. *Mothers bring usable experience back to their workplaces. What Mothers Learn will show, first, how learning to be a mother takes time, and then what a wonderful experience it can be. It also makes the case that, if enough of us agree that mothering is essential, society must find a way to reward the women who do it.

Without Being Taught

What Mothers Learn

Mothers describe falling in love with their babies and then, more slowly, learning to understand them. Children flourish when their mothers love and understand them. For over 20 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers talking at her weekly discussion groups. In 'How Mothers Love' she offers unique insights into how mothers and babies learn to communicate intimately with one another. When adults relate to one another, they are building on the foundations usually laid down by their mothers. 'How Mothers Love' is a study of how mothers start to build those foundations and covers areas such as: how to create emotional 'space' for your unborn child; how to maintain a close relationship with two or more children; the transformation into motherhood and your role as a mother in wider society. By sharing the experiences of other mothers, Naomi Stadlen offers reassurance and support to all new parents as they navigate the highs and lows of the early years with their babies.

And how relationships are born

How Mothers Love

'I can't emphasise enough how great What Mothers Do is' Emma Barnett 'The best book on parenting' Guardian 'Naomi Stadlen's What Mothers Do makes you feel like a million dollars' Zoe Williams Have you ever spent all day looking after your baby or young child - and ended up feeling that you have 'done nothing all day'? Do you sometimes find it hard to feel pleased with what you are doing, and tell yourself you should achieve more with your time? Maybe it's because you can't see how much you are doing already. In this unique and perceptive look at mothering, Naomi Stadlen draws on many years' work with hundreds of other mothers of a wide variety of ages and backgrounds. She explores mothers' experiences to reveal what they - and you - are doing when it may look, to everyone else, like nothing. If you are a mother, and have ever felt: that nobody understands what you do all day; overwhelmed by your feelings for your baby; tired all the time; that nothing prepared you for motherhood; uncertain what your baby seems to want; short-tempered with your partner - you will find this the most reassuring book you have ever picked up.

Naomi Stadlen

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