Niamh Greene

One housewife. One year. One hilarious insight into modern family life.

Secret Diary of a Demented Housewife

Niamh

Rules for a perfect life . . . Rule One: Do not ditch the man everyone says is perfect for you because he eats the last yellow jelly-baby in the bag. Rule Two: Do not move to a shack in the country to 'find yourself' and inadvertently become an object of ridicule for the locals. Rule Three: Do not fall for a man who has two children who hate you, a saintly dead wife you can never live up to and a mother who thinks you are the hired help. Maggie wants the perfect life – but if she keeps breaking the rules can she ever have it?

Rules for a Perfect Life

Eve. Molly. Julie and Charlie.Three heartbroken women.The heartbreaking man.Eve's expensive therapist has got her writing - but not sending - letters to Charlie, the man she never got over. They're supposed to make her feel better. Eve hopes it works soon. Or she'll be getting some letters of her own - from her irate bank manager . . .Molly's just back from her honeymoon. All loved up and blessed out. Until she finds new husband Charlie's love note', reminding her to put the bins out, and informing her that he's leaving her . . .Julie's blogging about her sexy boss at work. He's just got married. It's hight time she put an end to the affair. But does she really want to?Letters to a Love Rat is a hilarious and touching tale of heartbreak and heartache as three women try to put one particular Mr-not-so-Charming behind them . . .

Letters to a Love Rat

Frankie Rowley is far too practical to believe in karma or fate . . . Work-obsessed Frankie is also far too busy to spend time with her family or friends. They all reckon the strongest relationship she has is with her phone. (And why not? At least it never judges her when she cancels dinner for the millionth time). So when she loses that precious phone on a crucial business trip to San Francisco, Frankie is beside herself - her life was on it. Sure, Frankie can make and take calls on a hired phone, but it's not the same. This new phone isn't a part of her like the old one. And the last straw is when she starts getting texts meant for someone else - someone called Aimee. This Aimee seems like a lot of fun, and clearly her family loves to keep in touch, but why is Frankie getting her messages? Bad enough that she has lost her old phone, but now Frankie is supposed to share her new one with some stranger. Frankie goes on the warpath, but she is in for some surprises when she blunders into Aimee's life. And the biggest surprise of all is how your life can be changed forever by losing a phone. Frankie may not believe in karma or fate, but suddenly they seem to believe in her . . . Praise for Niamh Greene 'Greene's wicked sense of humour provides much needed relief in these recessionary times.' Irish Independent 'This author is capable of being very very funny.' Sunday Independent 'Hilariously written but anchored in real life, this will keep you laughing all the way.' Woman 'You'll love this tale of wrong turns, romance and reinvention.' Daily Record

A Message to Your Heart

Coco Swan has always been embarrassed by her name . . . With a name like Coco, people expect you to be as exotic and glamorous as the famous designer, not an ordinary-looking small-town antiques dealer who could win an award for living cautiously. But when a vintage Chanel handbag turns up in a box of worthless bric-a-brac, Coco's quiet world is suddenly turned upside down. Where did it come from? And is it just coincidence that it's the same bag Coco's late mother always wanted for her? When Coco discovers a mysterious, decades-old letter hidden in the bag's lining, she sets off on a quest to piece together the story behind it, stumbling across secrets that span three generations as she goes. Could the beautiful Chanel bag be about to teach Coco more than she wants to learn? Or will it show her just where her heart can take her if she lets it lead the way? Praise for Niamh Greene 'Gorgeously heart-warming and compelling . . . every page sparkles with Niamh Greene's trademark warmth and humour.' Melissa Hill 'Brilliantly astute.' OK! Magazine

Coco's Secret

Before reading my private 'confessions'* please bear in mind the following: (1) My husband Joe and I are soul-mates. Nothing - including a smouldering lone father or Joe's teeny mid-life crisis - could ever come between us. (Hopefully he won't find out about smouldering Lone Father's sexed-up expos� of our secret 'affair' last year.) (2) Offspring Katie and Jack are well-adjusted and happy - even if Jack thinks he's a dog and Katie wants to be a Pussy Cat Doll. (3) VBF Louise makes new motherhood appear unnaturally glamorous. It simply isn't normal to fit back into size zero jeans so soon after giving birth - and I have the jelly belly to prove it. (4) I did not cynically engineer my close personal friendship with Celebrity Mom Angelica Law just to get invited to red carpet events. The whole newspaper-paparazzi-telly thing was NOT my fault - I can't help it if I've got star quality in bucket-loads, can I? *Note: The publisher 'borrowing' my diary and printing its contents does not amount to a confession. My arm had to be twisted very hard ...

The Celebrity Year

Confessions of a Demented Housewife

Una novela divertida y enternecedora sobre el destino, el amor y el poder de los mensajes escritos. Frankie Rowley es una agente literaria que tiene una única clienta y una asistente desastrosa. Su negocio hace aguas, su amante no es exactamente un príncipe azul y su familia la vuelve loca. La relación más íntima de su vida la mantiene con su iPhone. Así que cuando -en un viaje a San Francisco en busca de cerrar un contrato con un autor ermitaño al que quiere convencer para representar- lo pierde, el mundo se derrumba a su alrededor. Rápidamente se hace con un teléfono de sustitución y empieza a recibir mensajes claramente dirigidos al antiguo propietario de su nuevo número, una mujer, Aimee, que parece muy querida por los mensajes que recibe. A partir de una serie de malentendidos y una curiosidad malsana, Frankie acaba conociendo a la familia de Aimee, entrando en su mundo y comprendiendo la razón de esos cariñosos pero extraños mensajes...

Un mensaje para tu corazón

Before reading my private 'confessions'* please bear in mind the following: (1) My husband Joe and I are soul-mates. Nothing - including a smouldering lone father or Joe's teeny mid-life crisis - could ever come between us. (Hopefully he won't find out about smouldering Lone Father's sexed-up exposé of our secret 'affair' last year.) (2) Offspring Katie and Jack are well-adjusted and happy - even if Jack thinks he's a dog and Katie wants to be a Pussy Cat Doll. (3) VBF Louise makes new motherhood appear unnaturally glamorous. It simply isn't normal to fit back into size zero jeans so soon after giving birth - and I have the jelly belly to prove it. (4) I did not cynically engineer my close personal friendship with Celebrity Mom Angelica Law just to get invited to red carpet events. The whole newspaper-paparazzi-telly thing was NOT my fault - I can't help it if I've got star quality in bucket-loads, can I? *Note: The publisher 'borrowing' my diary and printing its contents does not amount to a confession. My arm had to be twisted very hard ...

Rules for a perfect life . . . Rule One: Do not ditch the man everyone says is perfect for you because he eats the last yellow jelly-baby in the bag. Rule Two: Do not move to a shack in the country to 'find yourself' and inadvertently become an object of ridicule for the locals. Rule Three: Do not fall for a man who has two children who hate you, a saintly dead wife you can never live up to and a mother who thinks you are the hired help. Maggie wants the perfect life - but if she keeps breaking the rules can she ever have it?

Karin Dufner

Schnäppchenjägerin meets Müttermafia! Obwohl Tochter Katie schon in die Schule geht und Sohn Jack in den Kindergarten, hat Susie Hunt stets alle Hände voll zu tun: Ihre beste Freundin hat Liebeskummer, ihr Schwager will Musicalstar werden, ihre Tochter möchte bei den Pussycatdolls mittanzen und ihr Mann will auf einmal sein ganzes Leben umkrempeln. Als dann auch noch Hollywood-Celebrity Angelica Law in die gleiche Strasse zieht, wird es erst richtig aufregend. Doch die neue Freundschaft mit der glamourösen Angelica katapultiert Susie nicht nur in eine finanzielle Krise, sondern auch in einen ausgekochten Skandal.

Niamh Greene

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