Nicholas Epley

An exploration of the human mind's capacity for instinctive undertanding about the feelings and desires of others explains how the ability or inability to understand the minds of those around us leads to connection or conflict.

How We Understand what Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want

Mindwise

How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want

We know that social connection enriches our lives—so why do we hesitate to connect? “One of those rare books that might actually change your life.” —Daniel Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness There is a paradox at the core of human life. We are a highly social species uniquely equipped to connect with other people and doing so is better for us. Yet we so often choose to be unsocial. We avoid talking to the stranger who sits next to us. We struggle to move beyond small talk with an acquaintance. We are reluctant to express our gratitude to people we appreciate. Every day, we avoid opportunities to connect with strangers, neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family. By missing those moments, we miss out on all the benefits of a more social life—one that is happier and healthier for everyone. University of Chicago psychologist and author of Mindwise, Nicholas Epley has spent his career studying the way we connect, and he has found that our social fears often keep us from reaching out. But Epley shows us how to seize the small moments with insights such as: Social connection is a choice we make based on expectations about how others will respond to us—expectations that tend to be overly pessimistic. Introverts and extroverts alike benefit from choosing to be a little more social. Mistaken expectations can cause us to avoid interacting in ways that create strong connections—such as having a conversation—in favor of less satisfying interactions—such as social media or texting. While many books promise one big fix, making a habit of small connections is much more likely to improve your life. The habits and practices that Epley advocates are approachable. The beauty of this book is that small acts have an outsized impact on the most important parts of our lives. Bridging the gap between two people is easier than we think, and success more likely, if we choose to be a little more social.

How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection

A Little More Social

Leading psychologist Nicholas Epley helps us understand why our social fears are often mistaken and how small acts of connection can ultimately transform our lives. 'One of those rare books that might actually change your life' Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness Social connection enriches our lives and is essential to our happiness and health - yet so often we choose not to connect. Why? We are among the most social species on the planet, uniquely equipped to connect with others. Doing so makes us happier, healthier and more successful. Yet so often we shy away from it - whether that's saying hello to the stranger who sits next to us, or moving beyond small talk with a work colleague, or holding back from expressing our gratitude to people we appreciate. We are missing out on so much. In this inspiring book, psychologist Nicholas Epley reveals how misplaced social fears interrupt our instinct to connect and how to overcome them. Drawing on decades of research, he explains why we tend to be overly pessimistic about how others will respond to a social approach. This becomes self-fulfilling as we avoid the kinds of interaction that create strong connections - such as having a conversation - in favour of less satisfying interactions - such as social media or texting. Above all, he shows that bridging the gap between two people is far easier than we think and success is more likely than we imagine. Whether introvert or extrovert, we all can benefit from being just a little more social. Even the smallest adjustments can bring surprising rewards. And as Epley shows, gradually building wiser social habits can ultimately have life-changing results. 'Everyone should read this beautiful book - and learn to use the transformative power of reaching out to build a more meaningful life' Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators 'I love this book. Truly, Hello might change your life. Beautifully written, meticulously crafted, and winningly earnest. It's a masterclass in social connection' Angela Duckworth, author of Grit 'Masterfully blends cutting-edge research with unforgettable stories to reveal how small acts of connection can make your life richer and happier. This inspiring book will forever change how you see and reach out to other people' Katy Milkman, author of How to Change 'Brilliant and eye-opening, Hello is brimming with insights about how to rediscover the joy of being human' Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of How to Feel Loved

The Unexpected Power of Reaching Out in an Overly Lonely World

Hello?

Leading psychologist Nicholas Epley helps us understand why our social fears are often mistaken and how small acts of connection can ultimately transform our lives. Social connection enriches our lives and is essential to our happiness and health – yet so often we choose not to connect. Why? We are among the most social species on the planet, uniquely equipped to connect with others. Doing so makes us happier, healthier and more successful. Yet so often we shy away from it – whether that’s saying hello to the stranger who sits next to us, or moving beyond small talk with a work colleague, or holding back from expressing our gratitude to people we appreciate. We are missing out on so much. In this inspiring book, psychologist Nicholas Epley reveals how misplaced social fears interrupt our instinct to connect and how to overcome them. Drawing on decades of research, he explains why we tend to be overly pessimistic about how others will respond to a social approach. This becomes self-fulfilling as we avoid the kinds of interaction that create strong connections – such as having a conversation – in favour of less satisfying interactions – such as social media or texting. Above all, he shows that bridging the gap between two people is far easier than we think and success is more likely than we imagine. Whether introvert or extrovert, we all can benefit from being just a little more social. Even the smallest adjustments can bring surprising rewards. And as Epley shows, gradually building wiser social habits can ultimately have life-changing results.

The Unexpected Power of Choosing To Connect

Hello

Warum gibt es so oft Missverständnisse selbst zwischen guten Freunden? Warum wissen die wenigsten Ehemänner, was ihre Ehefrauen wollen – und umgekehrt? Warum scheitern Verhandlungen, obwohl sich alle Beteiligten optimal vorbereitet haben? Nicholas Epley hat sich intensiv mit den Fallstricken der menschlichen Kommunikation auseinandergesetzt. Wir alle glauben, uns selbst gut zu kennen, so Epley – und irren uns meist gewaltig. Der nächste fatale Fehler: Wir schließen von uns selbst auf andere. Wir müssen lernen, unsere Empathie zu nutzen. Wie das funktioniert, wie wir eigene und fremde Motive und Bedürfnisse ergründen können, erläutert der Autor anhand von aktuellen wissenschaftlichen Erkenntnissen. Eine Gebrauchsanleitung für erfolgreiches Mind Reading in jeder Lebenslage – beruflich wie privat.

Nicholas Epley

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