Nicky Blue

First they stole his father but they can never steal his will. Well, they kind of did but, he's gonna try really hard to get it back. A fatal mistake catapults Barry Harris into the adventure of a lifetime. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to save his hide, unleash the ninja within, and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer and a raging inferno. Perfect reading for fans of Douglas Adams, Robert Rankin, Tom Holt or Christopher Moore

A Series & Standalone of Sci-Fi Comedy

Escape From Samsara

When seven foot ghost warriors are trying to kill you, a multidimensional Basset Hound might be the only friend you need... "Read it in one sitting and couldn't stop laughing. Gag a minute. Dark comedy at it's finest!" (Goodreads review) A half-woman, half-cockroach fused in a bizarre gardening accident? That would be Mrs Jittery Twitch, dwelling in the shadows of our misdeeds. If in danger, you can call upon her help... all she asks is your soul as payment. But she's just a legend, so no need to worry.Barry Harris is a 28-year-old man, still living with his dear old mum in a little flat above a hairdresser. His obsession with Star Trek and the martial arts won't help him when he's forced out on a date.And nobody knows about the weird string of events that's about to put everyone's lives in danger. A trio of samurai warriors and the strangest offer of help lead Barry on a perilous mission to save the day.(This book is the second in the Prophecy Allocation series but works fine as a standalone read.) Perfect reading for fans of Tom Holt, Terry Pratchett, Robert Rankin, Christopher Moore or Douglas Adams. Why you should read this book: It explains revolutionary insights into the nature of reality that debunk the myth of free will (probably). It proves the multiverse has only two parallel universes (depending on your criteria for what makes up proof). It contains 50% extra innuendo-based gags than Book One in the series. Some of them might be considered funny (again this is relative). The author achieved a heightened dynamic tension not found in other books. He was heavily constipated during its creation. There may be a link. The author is no way suggesting that this makes it better than every other book ever written. Warning: The book is written in British English. All British slang terms are helpfully translated for the international reader, along with a short explanation of why British people are a little strange. What the reviews are saying: "Quirky, original, brilliant - a must-read!" "A mind-bending, absurdist blast of comedy and action" "Had me in stitches . Highly recommend!" "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets Pride and Prejudice and Zombies " "The author's ability to write characters that are believable, different, and set in situations that are far from the ordinary, is remarkable." "If you get the chance to read it, please do. I gotta read more now!" "A funny and intriguing book!" "I highly recommend this to anyone who loves dark humour " "It's the perfect mix of dark comedy + bizarre fantasy and is unlike any book I've read before. I laughed out loud multiple times and enjoyed the roller-coaster read. 5/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️" Categories for Hot Love Inferno:Dark humor books, Comedy Fantasy,Fantasy Adventure,Time Travel,Dark Comedy,Comedy,dark humor books,Humorous Fantasy,Humorous Fantasy Fiction,Humorous Fantasy Books,Humour,Humor,Urban Fantasy Humour,Comic Fantasy,sci fi comedy books,sci-fi comedy,

A Dark Comedy Fantasy Adventure

Hot Love Inferno

He thinks he's a deadly ninja. He's not. He's Barry Harris and he still lives with his mum. Barry's been patient, but after twenty-seven years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life's not done with throwing him curveballs. A fatal mistake catapults Barry into the adventure of a lifetime. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to save his hide, unleash the ninja within, and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer and a raging inferno. What is the mysterious Prophecy Allocation Department? Where is The Before and After? Even more importantly, Will Barry's underwear hold out until he has saved the day?

A dark humoured thriller with a killer twist! "nearly missed my stop from being so engrossed. What an ending! Hilarious and terrifying!" Graham is trying his hardest to save his marriage. When his wife Cressida, invites two new friends over for dinner he offers to cook even though he has no experience with vegan food. Something troubles Graham about the couple but he can’t quite put his finger on it. He takes a journey into Facebook to find a terrible truth which leads to a sinister consequence.

A Watched Pot

"Dark, brooding and painfully funny." (Goodreads ★★★★★) Two tribute bands. One ultimate prize. Zero room for failure. Having been blown away by seeing Gary Numan perform on Top of The Pops in 1979, Five went out and put an ad in the paper to form a tribute band. He named it 'The Romford Bombers'. They soon went on to dominate the annual Essex battle of the Gary Numan tribute bands. Until last year that is, when 'The Storm Troopers' came out of nowhere and stole their crown. The Bombers' 56-year-old lead singer will do whatever it takes to win it back. He also has reason to believe The Storm Troopers are pursuing a hidden agenda, and he's determined to get to the bottom of it. As Five wrestles with his suspicions, the Romford and Dagenham Gary Numan Fan Club organise one final battle of the bands. The winner will become the all-time ultimate Numan tribute act. The stakes have never been higher. Five enlists the help of his best mate, Pete - wild card and hacker extraordinaire - and the two dive into the dark web in search of answers to the following questions: - Why is there no trace of The Storm Troopers before last year? - Why does Ross, the Troopers' singer and Five's nemesis, have suspicious gaps in his knowledge of Numanology? - Why does he work at the local undertaker's and what are those weird neon lights coming from the backyard? And what would the real Gary Numan think about all this? Five has been writing to Gary, perhaps one day he will receive a reply. Read the book to find out what Five discovers about the mysterious Storm Troopers, the damnable, girlfriend-stealing Ross and his sinister deeds! It's time to get savage. PLEASE NOTE This book is not just for Gary Numan fans, but please be warned it does contain middle-aged men wearing eyeliner. Most of the characters come from Essex. If you are not familiar with that part of the United Kingdom, you may come away with rich cultural insights that change the way you perceive human existence. No lobsters or geography teachers were harmed in the writing of this book. If bad language offends you, It's probably best you read something from the cosy mystery section instead.

Nicky Blue

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