Penelope Bloom

My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break... No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too... I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire

His Banana

From USA Today bestselling author Penelope Bloom comes the first novel in the romantic, sexy, and hilarious Anyone But... series. Seven years ago, my best friends and I made a promise: No matter what, we would never date one of the King brothers. Even if they grew up to become megafamous, gorgeous, heart-stopping billionaires. Even if they crawled on their knees and begged for forgiveness. But guess who just flew back into our lives in a private jet? And guess who just showed up to my job on my first day? Richard. King. Fortunately, it takes two seconds for Richard to reveal he hasn't changed. Conceited. Cocky. Rude. Unfortunately, he's also the kind of gorgeous that's borderline offensive--with a jawline to make statues self-conscious and a grin that short-circuits my brain. He's spent years taking what he wants. I doubt he's hungry for anything else--except me, apparently. There's no way I'll let him maneuver his way back into my life. My friends would never forgive me. I would never forgive me. But did I mention his jawline?

Anyone But Rich

Her Cherry

My [Mostly] Secret Baby

His package ended up inside my box. Calm down, perv. My mailbox.As soon as I saw what was inside, I knew two things: It belonged to my hot neighbor, and he had a dirty secret. Normally, I was more of a cat person. As in, if I had to choose who lives,

His Package

All I ever wanted was the perfect happily ever after. All he ever wanted was to ruin my freaking life. Okay, that's a smidge dramatic, but hear me out. My new neighbor might as well plant an "unavailable" sign in his front yard. He's got biceps made for pulling swooning maidens out of danger, eyes built for melting glaciers (and panties), and a smile that makes my knees want to buckle. But he's grumpy, stubborn, divorced with two kids, and he's only in town for three months. It's pretty obvious I need to stay far, far away. But then he kisses me. First, I see stars. Then I see babies with steely blue eyes and chiseled jawlines. I see white-picket fences and just maybe that happily ever after I always dreamed of. He says the best he can do is three months of casual fun. No feelings. No attachments. Then he'll move on, and so should I. Remember the part about him ruining my life? Yeah, I didn't even get to it yet. That all started with a bet.

A Grumpy Single Dad Romance

Once Upon A Bet

I don't usually fang and tell, but she earned an exception.The hapless woman who accidentally released me.The one who nearly got herself killed mere hours later.So I saved her, but my help came with a price.The only way to save her life was to bond her-to link us so powerfully we'd have to spend every waking hour together for the next few weeks.I was ready for the bond, but I wasn't ready for her.Her impossible to crush perky outlook. Her big eyes that never seem to dim, no matter how far into my blackened soul they saw.I thought I'd lost the ability to care centuries ago, but it appears I was wrong.The insufferable woman won't rest until she's forced me to do the unthinkable. To... enjoy her company.It's ridiculous, but all I need to do is outlast the bond.To outlast my growing fear that I'm not as numb as I thought. I'm in danger of feeling something for this human that I can't afford to feel. Because the only thing more dangerous for her than my enemies is if I can't let her go. Author's Note: Get sucked into this high stakes, fang-fest of paranormal, romantic comedy fun with an out-of-his-element vampire grump and the upbeat woman who refuses to let things go according to plan.

A Sucky Vampire Romantic Comedy

Kiss Kiss Fang Fang

There are a few things you absolutely don't do in Adrian Terranova's world. You don't question him. You don't challenge him. You don't call him by his first name. You definitely don't contradict him in front of his entire staff. Unless you're me, apparently. I'd love to say I stood up to the bosshole from hell and walked away unscathed, but that'd be a lie. First he got me fired from the job I couldn't afford to lose. Then he made sure the only position in the city I could get was working as his personal assistant. He runs his office with iron buns and icy glares. Every day is cloudy with a chance of grumpy. Every moment is a test he expects me to fail, but I'll happily disappoint him. They say he's impossible to please? That he never smiles? Well, I don't run from challenges. I run into them. And then I make them attend office glitter parties with hot dogs. Sometimes I also get scared on company flights and crash face first in my boss' lap during turbulence. Or there was the time I wound up half-naked in his hotel room... But I know one thing for certain. No matter how many times I have to look at his obnoxiously attractive, insufferably arrogant rear end, I won't break. I won't even bend. Adrian: I won't break her, but she's absolutely going to bend. Over my desk, I think. Or maybe the couch in reception?

An Enemies To Lovers Romance

The Boss(hole)

The Room

Sincerely, Up Yours

MyFake Wedding

Everything went wrong when I trimmed his bush. And no, it's not what you're thinking. I'm a professional.The client hired me to trim a bush in his garden for a party.I accidentally turned it into something that rhymes with "a big rock and walls".Imagine my surprise when the art world decides it's a masterpiece.Were my raging hormones the cause of my bush sculpting blunder? I mean, who would blame me if they were? After meeting Harry Barnidge for the first time, my brain went straight to cavewoman mode. There were undignified fantasies of being bashed over the head and carried off to a cave, a significant loss of vocabulary, and maybe even a little drooling.But I can't focus on that. On him I need this job to make my little sister's dreams come true. Until now, I've managed to screw everything in my professional and personal life up, but I'm determined to make this work.So when Mr. Heartstopper offers to help me manage my accidental art career, it's impossible to say no.It's like the old saying goes. If you erect it, they will come. Or something like that.HarryI was done with relationships, until her. The new gardener took everything I knew and flipped it upside down. And once I saw her bush? Well, that was when I knew she was something special.Women have tried a lot of things to get my attention, but Nell's bush has to be the boldest method. I mean, there was the direct approach, and then there was turning a ten-foot bush into... that.So of course, I asked her out. And when the biggest art critic in the country declared her bush a work of art, I offered to become her agent... even if my specialty was books.Now I just have to convince her that I want more than our professional relationship. No matter the cost. Even when my biggest rival wants to steal her from under me and threatens to ruin me if I tell the truth about him.

Her Bush

His Treat

Single Dad Next Door

O meu novo chefe adora impor regras. E há uma que ninguém se atreve a quebrar: nunca tocar na banana dele. A sério. O tipo é viciado em bananas. E eu, claro, fui logo tocar na dele. Pior, pu-la na boca. Mastiguei... e até engoli. E foi nesse momento que ele apareceu. E, acreditem em mim, foi mau. Muito mau! Mas deixem-me começar pelo início...Antes de tocar na banana de um bilionário, eu tinha acabado de conseguir o meu primeiro trabalho a sério como jornalista. Nada das tretas do costume. Nada de entrevistas a lixeiros sobre as suas rotas preferidas, ou artigos sobre a importância de apanhar caca de cão nos jardins. Já dei para esse peditório.Esta era a minha grande oportunidade. Podia provar ao mundo que não era uma trapalhona. A missão: infiltrar-me na Galleon Enterprises para investigar as suspeitas de corrupção.Já estão a ouvir a banda sonora do James Bond a tocar, não estão?Eu ia ser um sucesso. Só tinha de conseguir o lugar de estagiária e não dar cabo da entrevista com Bruce Chamberson.Agora avancem até ao momento imediatamente antes da entrevista. Sim, eu sou aquela ali de banana na mão. Uma banana com o nome dele escrito a marcador preto. É aí que ele entra e me apanha em flagrante de fruta na mão. Pouco depois, contrata-me.Pois, eu sei. Também a mim me pareceu estranho...

A Banana Dele

MyTemporary Nanny

I Bite She Sucks

I'll admit it. I messed up. Mistake #1: Asking Peter Barnidge for a job.Mistake #2: Accepting his offer instead of throwing it in his face like I planned.Mistake #3: In the interest of stopping before #99, I'll pretend the only other mistake was withholding one, tiny little nugget of truth during my interview. Peter Barnidge... Where do I even start? How about that after my first day working for Mr. Superstar International Bestselling Author, his name became my favorite kid-friendly cursing substitute. Stub a toe? Peter Barnidge it! Bank account is overdrawn? Son of a Barnidge! And when I realized I was falling for my boss? Well, what the Barnidge?I wish it was easier to just plain hate him, instead of the twisted, confusing blend of hatred and attraction I feel. But he's the bad kind of attractive. Dark with a side of smoldering heat. The kind of hot that makes me want to do that Catholic cross thing every time I look at him, because one glance takes my brain straight to a world of sin.Speaking of sin... I also lied a little during my interview. But I'm a single mom and I'd do anything to provide for my daughter, even if it meant keeping one tiny little secret. Unfortunately, even small secrets have a way of growing over time. I think it's only a matter of time before he finds out, and somehow, I don't think he's going to be happy when he does.

Her Secret

I'm the girl nobody sees.That is, until I move next door to Parker High's most eligible bastard, Tristan Blackwood.He's gorgeous. Eyes as cold as moonlight. Lips made for cruel kisses. The entire town knows it, too. Apparently being able to throw a football elevates you to god status around here.He could have anything he wanted. Anyone.But somehow, all he wanted was to torment me.Me, trapped in my mom's protective bubble: homeschooled and invisible, stuck in a wheelchair and saddled with more medical issues than I could count. Normal? I might as well wish to be a fairytale princess.There aren't any princesses or knights in my fairytale. Just the dark prince who lives next door. Parker High royalty in the flesh. My very own devil in a letterman jacket. His life should be a dream, but the only thing he cares about is becoming my nightmare.And when my pride isn't enough for him, he decides he wants my body.He wants my heart.He wants every last inch of me to himself.

Zeb Carlos

About

Books

Join the club