Phil Torcivia

Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks

Susan Hobbs

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” – Mark Twain I'm at a New Year's party with a bunch of friends, most married. Midnight is approaching, and I'm holding the tallest Bombay Sapphire and tonic I can find, because I haven't found Miss Next. A married friend remarks. “Dude, who are you going to kiss at midnight?” “No idea.” “Why don't you mingle and find someone?” “Maybe I don't see anyone I'd like to kiss.” “Hey, beggars can't be choosers.” “Neither can married men.” “But...” “Careful, lad. You don't want to confess infidelity to a writer.” “I'm not. I'm just saying, if I wanted to kiss another woman, I could.” “Right, and you might be caught and forced to pay the consequences, which would be more significant than mine.” “So, you like being alone because it's safer.”“Single. I like being single, because it offers nearly limitless opportunities.” “What about the sex?” “Really? You want to go there? How long have you been married?” “Never mind. Enjoy your drink, nice guy.” I am nice—to a fault. Then, after being poked enough times, I stray into naughty land. Although I know it's what many women prefer, I can't seem to transform myself into a bad boy. I witness bad boys treating women badly. Often, these women complain to me about it. Then, I watch them walk away from me, and swoon back into the beast's arms. Insanity, if you ask me. This is what makes me fall from niceness. Women constantly saying they want one thing, while selecting the other. Women don't want to fuck nice guys. Women want bad boys to fuck them. There's only one way to describe it: Nice Guy FAIL.

Nice Guy Fail

The 10/60 Diet

What is Nice Guy Syndrome? Nice Guy Syndrome is an affliction where a heterosexual male is frustrated because he finds himself caged within the friend zone of women he'd prefer to be dating. Often, he is a kind and sympathetic person who listens well, and lends a shoulder for women to cry on. He's loved and admired, but not the type of fellow women sleep with. If there is a hell, this is it, and I'm in the penthouse. I was raised to be a nice guy. My relatives and teachers instilled in me the importance of: Treating women gently Protecting and providing for women Listening to women without judging Understanding what it is women want, even when they don't say the words Opening and holding doors for women Handling certain tasks for women Writing love notes to women Complimenting women I'm a master of the above and, thereby, block my own access to the physical parts of women I long for. So, what's a nice guy to do? Should I shed my skin, get a Harley and tattoos, lose all concern for how I'm perceived, and begin banging lonely chicks by the dozen, just to please my pecker? I can't do it. All I can do is vent, and hope someday, some woman will realize she deserves something better than bad boy bruises. Women love it. "Only in the head of Mr. Torcivia will you find such a mix of wise truth about men and their behavior. Don't read this smut in the middle of the airport, LOL, or you will find your face turning the same color as this book cover." - Cathy Cook "Congrats to Phil Torcivia on the newest book! Here's hoping I don't get my Kindle taken away from me by my Doctor's assistant for giggling too loudly in the exam room." - Anita-Michelle Miller "Phil's day to day kindness and sharing of relationships knows no bounds. I most definitely did not believe in the Nice Guy Syndrome until this book. Romantic, delicious with a touch of intrigue and blood." - Gracey Castro Read this book and laugh with (not at) me. Seriously. I'm fragile. Be nice, dammit! I promise a giggle or two from me to you.

Nice Guy Syndrome

It's not easy being the nice guy. Would you rather your man be genuine or nice? Don't you want honesty? To be the nice guy I must constantly look for your best traits, admire them, remind you how much I appreciate them (but, not too often as that would be creepy), and avoid any sensitive areas. This is a chore I must endure if I'm to maintain any friends or lovers. Sad. Well, this book in my Nice Guy series lays out a bunch of crass, sarcastic, swear-word-laden essays chronicling my best efforts, which have failed because I still have two cats and zero vaginas in my bed. I hope that you vicariously enjoy my relationship struggles and that they somehow make your relationship situation seem so much better. You're welcome.

Being the Nice Guy

Melanie Durkee

Do you know any nice guys? Perhaps you're married to or good friends with one. Well, consider the possibility that this nice guy is so frustrated with his relationship failures that he needs to vent to keep from turning into a bad boy with anger issues. Then, try not to spit hot coffee as you read his sarcastic rants about why men and women don't seem to fit.

What a Nice Guy

Mike Swaim

Is it true that nice guys finish last? It sure seems that way as a divorced man fights his way through a comedic dating scene. Will he ever find his soul mate? Phil has been called the male version of Carrie Bradshaw. Enjoy his humorous essays about relationships and the struggles we all have finding and keeping lovers. Women appreciate his open view into the minds of men. Artist Mike Swaim adds to the hilarity with his brilliant sketches, giving another dimension to Phil's quest for love.

Just a Nice Guy

Rebecca Shockley

Strip a man near fifty of his marital obligations, transplant him into the treacherous dating scene of San Diego, and something funny happens. Enjoy 84 humorous essays about one man's struggle with relationships, love, and lifestyles on the West Coast.

Such a Nice Guy

Nick Street

Dating is a humorous struggle for a recently divorced man who has no clue what women want.

Phil Torcivia

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