Richard Bean

Fired from his skiffle band, Francis Henshall becomes minder to Roscoe Crabbe, a small-time East End hood, now in Brighton to collect £6,000 from his fiancée’s dad. But Roscoe is really his sister Rachel posing as her own dead brother, who’s been killed by her boyfriend Stanley Stubbers. Holed up at The Cricketers Arms, the permanently ravenous Francis spots the chance of an extra meal ticket and takes a second job with Stanley Stubbers, who is hiding from the police and waiting to be reunited with Rachel. To prevent discovery, Francis must keep his two guvnors apart. Simple. Winner of the Outer Critics Circle award for Best Play.

One Man, Two Guvnors

Oliver Chris

What will happen in England after we have won this war? Bunting! Bunting everywhere! After the bunting has been taken down. They will never take down our bunting! July 1940. After an aerial dog fight, Pilot Officer Jack Absolute flies home to win the heart of his old flame, Lydia Languish. Back on British soil, Jack's advances soon turn to anarchy when the young heiress demands to be loved on her own, very particular, terms. Richard Brinsley Sheridan's classic comedy of manners, The Rivals, is given an uproarious Battle of Britain update by Richard Bean and Oliver Chris. In 2011, Richard Bean became the first playwright to win the Evening Standard Award for Best Play for two plays, The Heretic and One Man, Two Guvnors. This edition was published to coincide with the world premiere at the National Theatre, London, in July 2022.

Jack Absolute Flies Again

Mike Bradwell is on a mission to revolutionise British theatre. He's sick of fancy plays by dead blokes and wants to tell stories about real people, living real lives. And it doesn't get more real than Hull. In a freezing cold house on Coltman Street, a motley crew of unemployed actors gather to improvise a play with no name, no plot, no budget and no bookings. Richard Bean's hilarious and irreverent comedy takes us back to the 1970s and Hull Truck Theatre's origin story. It is a roaring combination of comedy, cabaret, farce and drama--back cover.

71 Coltman Street

‘Fucking Frogs! My grandfather didn’t die in the English Civil War so’s half the population of France could come over here and live off the soup!’ A riotous journey through four waves of immigration from the 17th century to today. As the French Huguenots, the Irish, the Jews and the Bangladeshis in turn enter the chaotic world of Bethnal Green, each new influx provokes a surge of violent protest over housing, jobs, religion and culture. And the emerging pattern shows that white flight and anxiety over integration is anything but new. Written with scurrilous bravura, Richard Bean’s great sweep of a comedy follows a pair of star-crossed lovers amid cutters’mobs, Papists, Jewish anarchists and radical Islamists across four tempestuous centuries. England People Very Nice enjoyed a sell-out run at the National Theatre.

England People Very Nice

"I've wasted the whole of my life playing this game. It's claimed my knees and it occupies every spare synapse in my brain. I'm not even sure I like it anymore..." The Nightwatchmen: an amateur London cricket team, making up for in enthusiasm what they lack in ability. As they gather on a sunny Sunday to face Bernard and his ethnically diverse and highly talented squad, Will, Thiz, Clive and their team-mates spend the day smoking, drinking tea and discussing love, politics and the correct interpretation of the LBW law... Richard Bean's comedy toured with Headlong Theatre throughout May 2008.

The English Game

Dylan isn't your typical snooker player. He's a vegetarian, for starters. This is the biggest week of his life and everybody wants a piece of him – his ex-con Dad, local gangster Waxy Chuff and the snooker corruption squad. The Nap is a laugh out loud comedy thriller about love, honour and not getting snookered. It centres around Dylan Spokes, a professional snooker player, born and raised in Sheffield. Dylan is preparing for a big match, but not only are his friends and family getting in the way, but he is visited by police investigating match fixing. The Nap is a farce by award-winning playwright, Richard Bean, with plenty of sharp lines, jokes and an array of hilarious characters. The play includes a live snooker match, with comic commentary. It opened at the Sheffield Crucible in 2016 and later on Broadway by the Manhattan Theatre Club.

The Nap

In the southern Pacific Ocean on the remote island of Pitcairn, the infamous mutineers of The Bounty, led by Fletcher Christian (or should it be Titreano?) begin to establish a new society alongside their Tahitian followers. Tensions quickly swell as the British settlers refuse to relinquish the vices of their past. Social, racial and sexual schisms render the once paradisiac island into a hotbed of discord and bloody violence. Pitcairn vividly explores the conflict between personal freedoms and public responsibilities. Pitcairn is Richard Bean’s brutal telling of the colonisation of the remote island of Pitcairn by Fletcher Christian and the Bounty mutineers. The play charts – with salty humour and growing horror – the spiralling descent of the colony from a new Eden of freedom and equality to a brutal dystopia.

Pitcairn

Fired from his skiffle band, Francis Henshall becomes minder to Roscoe Crabbe, a small time East End hood, now in Brighton to collect £6,000 from his fiancee's dad. But Roscoe is really his sister Rachel posing as her own dead brother, who's been killed by her boyfriend Stanley Stubbers. Holed up at The Cricketers' Arms, the permanently ravenous Francis spots the chance of an extra meal ticket and takes a second job with one Stanley Stubbers, who is hiding from the police and waiting to be re-united with Rachel. To prevent discovery, Francis must keep his two guvnors apart. Simple. Based on Carlo Goldoni's classic Italian comedy The Servant of Two Masters, in this new English version by prize winning playwright Richard Bean, sex, food and money are high on the agenda.

England People Very Nice is a riotous journey through four waves of immigration from the 17th century to today, as the French Huguenots, the Irish, the Jews and the Bangladeshis in turn enter the chaotic world of Bethnal Green. Each new influx provokes a surge of violent protest over housing, jobs, religion and culture. And the emerging pattern shows the 'white flight' and anxiety over integration is anything but new. Written with scurrilous bravura, Richard Bean's great sweep of a comedy follows a pair of star-crossed lovers amid cutters' mobs, Papists, Jewish anarchists and radical Islamists across four tempestuous centuries.

Hapless MEP Philip Wardrobe has a busy day ahead of him, balancing his less-than-irreproachable political career with his attempts to start a family. As he prepares for his girlfriend to fly in from Kettering for an afternoon of fertile frolics, his plan to be voted President of the European Parliament is foiled at every turn by unpredictable colleagues: uncouth Yorkshiremen, irate Turks and amorous Frenchwomen... to say nothing of the mysterious man in the linen cupboard. In the Club opened at the Hampstead Theatre in July 2007.

In the Club

Four plays by Richard Bean with an introduction by Chris Campbell. Includes: Harvest, In the Club, The English Game and Up on Roof. 'Funny, poignant with a heart as big as a house, this is a rich Harvest indeed.' The Daily Telegraph on Harvest 'It is rare to spend two hours of unadulterated pleasure in a theatre, even for somebody who occupies theatre seats on a constant basis. This play...is beautifully crafted, well written and as funny as anything currently on stage.' British Theatre Guide on In the Club 'There have been many good plays about cricket before...but none that told us so much about our splintering land.' The Guardian on The English Game 'Wonderful lightness of touch...[his dialogue] takes your breath away.' The Daily Telegraph on Up on Roof

Up On Roof

Clive Coleman

Young Marx is a comedy set in 1850's London, where Karl Marx, is hiding in Dean Street, Soho. Broke and restless, the play portrays the thirty-two-year-old revolutionary as a frothing combination of intellectual brilliance, invective, satiric wit, and child-like emotional illiteracy. Creditors, spies, rival revolutionary factions and prospective seducers of his beautiful wife all circle like vultures. His writing blocked, his marriage dying, his friend Engels in despair at his wasted genius, his only hope is a job on the railway. But there's still no one in the capital who can show you a better night on the piss than Karl Heinrich Marx. Young Marx aims to demystify Karl Marx, and is full of jokes and farce. It was chosen as the first play at the opening of London's Bridge Theatre in 2017, where it played to critical acclaim.

Young Marx

Lee, a soldier returning to Hull from two tours of Afghanistan, joins a losing pub quiz team. The team is: Lee, specialist subject - "how to kill a man with your bare hands"; Woody, specialist subject - "hallucinogenic drugs"; and Bunny, specialist subject - "the containerisation of Hull docks"! What they need is a bit of class, a bit of history of art, a bit of literature, a bit of posh totty. Melissa has come to Hull to regenerate the city. Maybe she can be a shot of viagra for a particular East Hull pub quiz team. A murderous black comedy, set in Hull's black economy, with too many questions and all the wrong answers.

Pub Quiz is Life

The new collection from multi-award-winning playwright Richard Bean. Contains the plays, Great Britain, The Nap, Pub Quiz is Life, Pitcairn and Kiss Me. Foreword by Sir Nicholas Hytner.

Richard Bean: Plays Five

Pub quiz is life ; Pitcairn ; Great Britain ; The nap ; Kiss me

"I'm a scientist. I don't 'believe' in anything." The study of climate science is the cool degree at the university where Dr Diane Cassell is a lead academic in Earth Sciences. At odds with the orthodoxy over the causes of climate change, she finds herself increasingly vilified and is forced to ask if the issue is becoming political as well as personal. Could the belief in anthropogenic global warming be the most attractive religion of the 21st century. What evidence do we need before deciding on policy? Winner of the 2011 Evening Standard Theatre Best New Play Award.

The Heretic

‘Doesn’t smoke. Doesn’t drink. Doesn’t do drugs. I’m worried about her, she’s not normal.’ ‘It’s the modern world. You can’t judge kids by your own standards.’ Things have changed since Dad set up the family business in the 60s: new products, more competition, and a bigger market. At the end of the day though, it’s still all about cash and stock. But this is no ordinary family business – the Robinsons are drug dealers.

Smack Family Robinson

"You love someone, you can feel it, like a lump, summat you carry around with yer. Bloody hell, it's either there or it int, like a hat." If Romeo and Juliet had lived, would their marriage have survived? How long? Ten years? Twenty? Fifty? How would the union have coped with poverty, corruption, his ignorance, her aspiration, an ungrateful daughter, no sons, infidelity with an attractive bloke on an evening class, God knows how many miscarriages and even murder? A production of Honeymoon Suite by the English Touring Theatre opened at the Royal Court Theatre in January 2004.

Richard Bean

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