Robert Jeschonek

In the Empire of Underpants and Other Stories

In these pages, Robert T. Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. Don't miss these 18 edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales from award-winning Star Trek and Doctor Who author Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes 18 stories originally published in three volumes: 6 Scifi Stories, 6 More Scifi Stories, and 6 Scifi Stories Book 3. All 18 of these scifi stories and novelettes are available here for one low price: "The Greatest Serial Killer in the Universe" "The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake" "Playing Doctor" "Serial Killer vs. E-Merica" "My Cannibal Lover" "Zinzizinzizinzic" "One Awake in All the World" "Give the Hippo What He Wants" "Teacher of the Century" "Off the Face of the Earth" "Something Borrowed, Something Doomed" "The Cross-Dressing Cosmic Cortez Rubs Off" "Star Sex" "Messiah 2.0" "Lenin of the Stars" "The Shrooms of Benares" "Beware the Black Battlenaut" "Killer Bod" Contents Collection of 18 stories and novelettes plus a novel preview Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author of the Starship series "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read..." – Fábio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

Scifi Motherlode

Deanna Knippling

Leah Cutter

Enjoy the urban fantasy stories of the Uncollected Anthology: Mazes & Labyrinths now collected in this bundle. Investigate an underground city and study some "installation art." Share your popcorn with the mice and unravel the mystery of a disappearing maze. Drop a stitch to share with your sister and resist the lure of the castle. Explore the Uncollected Anthology with Mazes & Labyrinths!

Uncollected Anthology

Mazes & Labyrinths

Comic book fans, rejoice! This massive volume collects over 750 pages of comics and comic book scripts from a writer whose work has been published by DC Comics. Robert Jeschonek has written plenty of scripts in his career, and these will shine a light on his writing process, his wild imagination...and some thrilling and thought-provoking adventures. This enormous collection is a must-have if you dream of writing your own comic book scripts or if you just love comics. Don't miss this motherlode of scripts and stories for one low price.

Comic Book Motherlode

Born in the throes of violence! Teeming with conflict ever since! Constant struggle is the way of our universe and the heart of this thrilling collection of stories. Get caught up in the excitement of cosmic gods at war over battleground Earth…a life-or-death battle between alien races claiming the legacy of a monstrous humanity…apocalyptic strife over the adoption of a vicious alien infant…and the blitzing of a world dominated by bloodthirsty dragons. Experience one spectacular clash after another in the unforgettable words of USA Today bestselling author Robert Jeschonek, a scifi champion with a Star Trek and Doctor Who pedigree…plus a story co-written with Mike Resnick, the legendary winner of five Hugo Awards and a Nebula.

Cosmic Conflicts

In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Nona Stiletto, the sexy cyborg exterminator who takes on a planet of alien monsters...Thal Simoleon, baseball player of the future, condemned to death for losing the World Series...Cilla Franklin, an American teacher whose students are naked killer savages...Mike the Future Man, a high tech time traveler fighting to find a missing child...Vicky Dozen, the bioengineering genebilly whipping up rhinoporcupines in Best Virginia...or Philippa the cross-dressing Conquistadora of outer space. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author. It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.

Six Scifi Stories Volume Two

Say goodbye to the Polka Prince and hello to the sexy crimesolver with a polka twist, Lottie Kachowski. This thirtysomething fireball left for L.A. years ago, but she roars home to New Krakow, Pennsylvania for her dad the Polka Prince's funeral...and ends up investigating his murder. If only she didn't have to team up with his screwball girlfriend, Polish Peg, to navigate the wild world of small town polka. Can she crack the case without Peg driving her nuts? Can she dig up her family's darkest secrets without dying at the hands of a psychopathic monster? When you've got polka in your blood like Lottie, you just know the bad guy's going to face the music.

Death by Polka

A twisted modern fable from award-winner Robert T. Jeschonek, author of the Booklist Top Ten First Novel for Youth My Favorite Band Does Not Exist. Meet a kid so bad, he gets a lump of coal for Christmas every year...and likes it! Neighborhood bully Buzz Scanlan takes pride in his annual lump, which he sees as a black badge of badness. But this year, when the coal doesn't come, the ten-year-old holy terror becomes a bad boy on a mission. He roams from one victim of his wicked mischief to the next, digging for dirt on the one nice thing he must have done to deserve no coal. When everyone agrees he's been nothing but naughty, he nearly gives up the hunt...until he stumbles onto the shocking truth behind his lumps of coal, an incredible secret that just might change his life forever. Will Buzz get his lump after all, sealing his fate as the ultimate bully? Or will solving the mystery lead to a fate worse than death for the naughtiest boy, an unexpected good deed that breaks his not-nice record? Don't miss this fun and funny tale with a twist from award-winning author Robert T. Jeschonek.

Lump

A new master of dreams rules the night, battling nightmares from beyond the edge of reality! A new Mr. Sandman for the 21st Century, the godlike Dream Lord keeps the Dream Zone safe from the terrors of the night. But when the Bogeyman strikes, Dream Lord meets his greatest enemy, a force of evil determined to turn all existence into a nightmare from which no one will ever awaken. Dream Lord declares war, but Bogeyman buries him under the weight of his own secrets. Can Dream Lord overcome his own dark past to redeem his tragic soul and become the true hero and legend he needs to be? Can he triumph over Bogeyman and make the Dream Zone save for humanity? As the sins of his past bring Dream Lord to his knees, an unexpected ally from the razor's edge of sanity could be the only hope for his future. Don't miss this exciting graphic novel script by award-winning storyteller and DC Comics writer Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected superhero adventures that really pack a punch. The author of the Forced Heroics stories brings you another epic saga of twisted heroes unlike any you'll ever meet. Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman..." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "No one understands gloriously defective supermen better than Jeschonek." - Eric Searleman, Superheronovels.com "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent..." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read..." – Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

Mr. Sandman: The Dream Lord Awakens

The year is 1954, and in a dark and violent alternate history, the Great War never ended. The forces of the Reich, led by the occult-obsessed Kaiser, have sold their souls to demonic powers as they scour the earth in search of paranormal weaponry. Meanwhile, President Edison has sanctioned the use of potent alien technology recovered at Roswell, in hopes of aiding the beleaguered Union in its fight against tyranny. As the war rages on, can anything - or anyone - tip the balance of power? Enter the Shogunate, a far-eastern warrior sect with their own shadowy agenda. When a small force led by "The Daimyo" Iroh Minamoto sets out toward the evergreen peninsula of Kamchatka, Union Major John McNeal and the 42nd Marines must discover their plans before it's too late. To make matters worse, the nefarious Hermann Von Heizinger of the Reich's Obscura Korps seems to be in league with the Shogunate. The race is on to control a weapon that could finally bring the Great War to its climactic end!

Rising Sun, Falling Shadows

Tannhauser

Once upon a galaxy, a spaced-out writer launched a novel exploring a starry saga set in a universe much like a certain trek we know and love. Here, for the first time, you can experience this voyage into trekkerness. The names are new, but you might recognize the drama and excitement of an epic encounter aboard the star cruiser Exogenesis as it pioneers humanity's journey to greatness among the stars. In this adventure, first contact with the multilingual Vox species goes horribly wrong when the crew's linguist mistakenly uses a forbidden slur. Drawn into a violent revolution, a “war of words” to decide language dominance, the crew of the Exogenesis races against time to convince the aliens to unite against a greater threat: an unstoppable invasion fleet roaring toward planet Vox from deep space. When revolution and invasion collide, it is up to Captain Joshua Swift and the Exogenesis crew to save the world by revealing the secret behind the slur that started it all...the dark secret linking Vox and invaders in an ancient cycle of slavery, suffering, lies, and death. Don't miss this exciting lost novel by award-winning Star Trek author Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.

Sticks and Stones: A Trek Novel

A twisted modern fable from award-winner Robert T. Jeschonek, author of the Booklist Top Ten First Novel for Youth My Favorite Band Does Not Exist. Who's the grossest kid in the world? Tommy Puke, that's who! He fights off bullies with his mighty loogies...conquers jerks with his powerful farts...and sticks up for his pet skunk by driving off wild dogs with his blistering bad breath. What happens when he takes his new friend, Josh, on an epic quest to find the fabled prince of vomit, who might just be Tommy's brother? Action, laughs, and more disgusting gross-outs than you can shake a booger at! Will Tommy and Josh find the prince, otherwise known as the Boy with the Golden Barf? Will his golden barf make them rich? Will he welcome Tommy Puke to the family? Or will Tommy and Josh find themselves in over their heads in the sewer in a deadly battle with the only person more stomach-turning than Tommy? One thing is for sure: the puke, boogers, loogies, poop, and goop will fly! And Josh must gain the power of the secret Eighth Emanation—a magic bodily fluid far grosser than any known to mankind—to stand a chance of surviving. Don't miss this hilarious and action-packed gross-out adventure from award-winning author Robert T. Jeschonek.

Tommy Puke and the Boy with the Golden Barf

Who's the grossest kid in the world? Tommy Puke, that's who! He fights off bullies with his mighty loogies...conquers jerks with his powerful farts...and sticks up for his pet skunk by driving off wild dogs with his blistering bad breath. But what happens when Tommy meets Rhino Man, a barfing hero who's grosser than he is? What happens when Rhino Man shows off stomach-churning fighting moves that even Tommy can't match? What happens is this: Tommy feels inferior and decides to hang up his puke. But Tommy's best friend, Josh, won't give up on him. Josh gets the god of vomit, Chonganda, to let Tommy peek at his future as a grown-up. Will grown-up Tommy convince little Tommy to get gross again? Even if Tommy gets his mojo back, can he hope to defeat the mighty hair-horned Rhino Man and his bag of sickening tricks? One thing is for sure: the puke, boogers, loogies, poop, and goop will fly! Join Tommy Puke for action, laughs, and more disgusting gross-outs than you can shake a booger at! Don't miss this hilarious and action-packed gross-out adventure from award-winner Robert Jeschonek, author of the young readers' fantasy My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, selected as a Top Ten First Novel for Youth by Booklist.

Tommy Puke and the World's Grossest Grown-up

Craig Martelle

Peter David

Dean Wesley Smith

Ian Douglas

Mike Baron

Cat Rambo

Blaze Ward

Mark Leslie

Ron Collins

Marc Scott Zicree

Annie Reed

Jim Gotaas

Space: 1975

Step back in time to Johnstown, Pennsylvania in 1975. Shoppers fill the downtown streets, bustling between the Glosser Bros. and Penn Traffic department stores...and one little boy runs through the crowd on a mission. Eleven-year-old Jack wants one thing for Christmas: to find out where his grandfather, Bub, runs off to every Christmas Eve. The trail leads him on a journey through Glosser Bros. at its most magical, but the magic takes an unexpected turn when he discovers Bub's secret. Before the night is over, Jack must take a stand in the name of Johnstown, a stand that could cost him everything...or bring him the greatest gift he can imagine. Don't miss this new Christmas classic by award-winning writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected stories that really pack a punch. Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read." – Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author.

Christmas at Glosser's

The 1970s are back! What better decade for a new anthology of space opera stories than the one that gave birth to a certain epic set long ago, in a galaxy far, far away? Every story in this new book will feature the distinctive style of the 70s, transported to thrilling new worlds, fleets, and conflicts in the farthest and most exciting reaches of the universe. Groove to tales of cosmic heroes in bellbottoms and platform shoes…alien ships like glittering mirror balls…soundtracks of gritty soul, disco, and hard rock. You'll find everything from kung fu fighting to streetwise private dicks…all souped up with incredible ray gun/rocketship action brought to sizzling life by some of the most talented scifi scribes of today and tomorrow. Blast off with this galaxy of stories by a Star Trek screenwriter, a Nebula Award winner, comic book superstars, New York Times bestsellers, indie publishing giants, and more! Buckle up for the latest dazzling adventures by Marc Scott Zicree, Dean Wesley Smith, Cat Rambo, Peter David, Ian Douglas, Robert Jeschonek, Craig Martelle, Blaze Ward, Ron Collins, Annie Reed, Mike Baron, Mark Leslie Lefebvre, and Jim Gotaas...plus an introduction by the one and only Barbara Bain, who played Dr. Helena Russell on classic 70s scifi TV series Space: 1999.

Space Opera Stories With a 1970s Twist

A quarter-century ago, the underground Maze of Mithras disappeared from the uplands of Italy, taking Andrea's partner with it. Now that it's returned—thousands of miles away in Namibia, Africa—she races to unravel its mysteries…and, perhaps, find the man she once loved. But will Andrea end up trapped inside when quakes rock the ancient site? Will she be lost forever when the walls themselves shift and change, pushing her down unfamiliar passages where a ravenous man-beast lies in wait? Or will the secrets of the forgotten god, Mithras, guide her in directions she never imagined? The darkest mysteries of the past turn the present into an inescapable labyrinth in this urban fantasy thriller. When the supernatural and the human heart clash, no compass devised in this world can lead you to the next level. Don't miss this exciting fantasy tale by USA Today bestselling author Robert Jeschonek, whose Gaia Files series is lighting up the world of urban fantasy.

Uncollected Anthology: Mazes and Labyrinths

A Maze That Is A Great White Bull

William Shakespeare still walks the Earth, but the price of his immortality is high. The Bard of Avon has become like a tragic figure from one of his own plays, cursed to live forever as a vampire. His goal in life after death: to find salvation in the lost vampire paradise of Empyrea. But a mortal man named Jonah Ivory might beat him to it thanks to the Bloodliner—Stanza Miracolo, a sexy and dangerous genealogist specializing in the paranormal. Stanza is on a quest to dig up the undead roots of Jonah's family tree and help him claim the key to his rightful heritage of Empyrea. But as they race around the world, scouring hidden cities and mystic realms for clues, who will take the prize—mortal Jonah, bloodsucking Shakespeare...or somebody far more terrifying? Does anyone stand a chance against the ruthless secret society led by the ultimate vampire warlord, Genghis Khan? On a battleground that spans the globe and history itself, only the passion between Jonah and Stanza could see them through a horror that threatens to destroy them and consume all humanity. Only love holds the power to keep the darkness at bay, if two hearts can survive and stay true in the midst of impossible struggles for the fate of tomorrow. Don't miss this saga of love and courage in the face of unspeakable horrors...and the irresistible temptations of the powers of darkness.

Bloodliner

Imagine a world without humans, where smart clothes equipped with apparel intelligence fight for supremacy. When a brave pair of smart-briefs sets out on a quest to cure his people's madness, he ends up in the middle of an all-out wardrobe war instead. Outnumbered by outfits fashioned for mayhem, with the future of smart garments everywhere hanging by a thread, do the smart-briefs stand a chance of cutting off the power-mad Hive Twine before it sews up a dark future for all clothing-kind? Don't miss this surprising story by award-winning writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. Contents Short story plus novel preview

In the Empire of Underpants And Other Stories

The wildshiners of Best Virginia make bioengineering seem like magic, whipping up incredible hybrid creatures like rhinoporcupines and exotic environments straight out of a fairy tale. But the genebillies of the prank-loving Dozen clan take it too far when they start out wrecking a wedding and end up bringing on the apocalypse. "Till death do us part" will come a lot sooner than expected—for the whole damn world—unless the bride, Vicky Dozen, can use her wildshiner skills to weave together what her whack-job brothers have torn asunder. But first, she must solve the ultimate mystery, bringing to light the deepest secret of her family, a secret rooted in the very genetic material that gives her life meaning. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tale by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author. It’s the latest story from award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected scifi and fantasy that really packs a punch.

Robert Jeschonek

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