Simon Hoggart

Simon Hoggart is back with a new treasure trove of Christmas round robins. And this time they illustrate the seven deadly sins of their writers, including boastfulness (dazzlingly clever children who play the saxophone and ski for Britain); smugness (their job, their house, their holidays are all perfect); tiny-mindedness (do we really need to be told how to start a jigsaw by looking for the straight bits?); whimsy (letters written by pets or babies); and the dreaded over-sharing, in which every illness and operation is described in minute, unwanted detail. Accompanied by Hoggart's wicked commentary, The Hamster that Loved Puccini invites us to ponder what compels people to pen these letters, and what they tell us about them - and ourselves. The Hamster that Loved Puccini is outrageously funny and the perfect Christmas gift for readers of all ages.

The Seven Modern Sins of Christmas Round Robin Letters

The Hamster that Loved Puccini

Read about how John Major learned the English language from his time in Nigeria. There is Tony Blair, with his verb-free sentences which imply everything and promise nothing. Gordon Brown, the grumpiest prime minister of recent years, both Stalin and Mr Bean. And now David Cameron - who really, really hates being drawn with a condom on his head. Let's not forget John Prescott, who can wrestle the English language to the mat and win by two falls to a submission, Michael Fabricant with his hairpiece stolen from the tail of a My Little Pony, Sir Peter Tapsell, a grandee so grand that when he rises to speak, Hansard writers are replaced by a crack team of monks to write up his words in illuminated lettering. Nick Clegg, with his default expression of a man's whose children's puppy is still missing. And of course, the famous 2010 press conference in the garden of Downing Street, a love-in that would have been illegal in 44 American states. This book, the best of Simon Hoggart's political sketchwriting, will have you laughing, chuckling, roaring, sniggering, and sometimes despairing. It is instant history with added jokes.

20 Glorious Years in Parliament

House of Fun

Emily Monk

The email home is an essential part of every gap-year traveller's journey. Where once the news of narrowly surviving a bus crash on the dirt-roads of India, waking up to gunfire in Honduras or fending off marriage proposals from complete strangers would have made it home only on the back of a slow-moving battered postcard, these days those tantalizing details and terrible mistakes are now recorded immediately and distributed liberally for every friend and family member to wince at. In Don't Tell Mum, Simon Hoggart and Emily Monk have collected together the funniest, most surreal, most alarming gap-year emails into a treasure-trove of correspondence. Accompanied by their wicked commentary, Don't Tell Mum gives the aspiring traveller the low-down on what not to do when trotting the globe.

Hair-raising Messages Home from Gap-year Travellers

Don't Tell Mum

A new cover reissue of Simon Hoggart's wonderfully funny collection of round robin letters—the perfect antidote for anyone suffering from an excess of Christmas cheer. Every Christmas, unwanted round robin letters, stuffed with news of young Chloe's nauseating excellence at—well—everything, the announcement of Janet's cousin's husband's friend's divorce, or the details of Terry's colonoscopy, accumulate on doormats. One day, Simon Hoggart decided to do something about it. He mercilessly presented the most eye-popping examples of such letters in his bestseller, The Cat that Could Open the Fridge, and followed it up with The Hamster that Loved Puccini, hoping he had put a stop to them. And yet the letters, booklets, and photo-montages kept on coming. So here, to drive home his message, The Round Robin Letters brings together his two collections in an anthology that will have everyone choking with laughter on their Christmas pudding.

The Ultimate Collection of Christmas Letters

Round Robin Letters

Simon Hoggart is the ultimate Christmas curmudgeon. Every year about this time, unwanted round robins, stuffed with news of young Chloe's nauseating excellence at - well - everything, the announcement of Janet's cousin's husband's friend's divorce, or the details of Terry's colonoscopy, accumulate on doormats, and Simon Hoggart decided to do something about it. In 2004, he mercilessly presented the most eye-popping examples of such letters in his bestseller, The Cat that Could Open the Fridge, and followed it up with The Hamster that Loved Puccini, hoping he had put a stop to them. And yet the letters, booklets and photo-montages kept on coming. So here, to drive home his message, The Christmas Letters brings together his two collections in an anthology that will have everyone choking with laughter on their Christmas pudding.

The Ultimate Collection of Round Robin Letters

The Christmas Letters

In this informative and amusing book - updated by Jonathan Ray to include 12 new wines - Simon Hoggart provides a highly personal selection of more than 100 exciting and eclectic wines that are invariably good value. Life's Too Short to Drink Bad Wine is aimed at the amateur wine lover prepared, occasionally, to spend a little more than supermarket prices to get something special. Simon eschews pretentious 'wine-speak' yet describes his encounters with each of them so wittily you will be sure to remember them. The wines are arranged alphabetically with entries interspersed with interesting features varying from how to read a wine label or on how to buy wine, to an account of the Judgment of Paris, when Californian wines beat the French in a blind tasting. From the 112 selected, Simon has awarded ten of them Top 10 status. At the back of the book is a source list of wine makers, distributors and merchants.

Life's Too Short to Drink Bad Wine Updated Edition

This is an eclectic and personal selection of wines aimed at the regular wine drinker who is occasionally prepared to spend a little bit more than supermarket prices to get something really good, perhaps for a special occasion.

Simon Hoggart

About

Books

Join the club