Stanley Bing

"The story of an artificial human being named Gene who discovers he's been created to provide a fresh new body for the consciousness of an aging business titan. Determined to maintain his autonomy, Gene rebels"--

A Soon To Be True Story

Immortal Life

What Would Machiavelli Do? The Ends Justify the Meanness

Likening Rome to an ancient multi-national corporation, the author of Sun-Tzu Was a Sissy shares a case study of how its civilization was marked by brutal consolidations, a prosperous family business, managerial infighting, and other factors reminiscent of those in today's professional world. Reprint.

The Rise and Fall of the First Multinational Corporation

Rome, Inc

Roma Imparatorlugu'nun uzun tarihini dev bir cokuluslu sirketin tarihi gibi okuyabilir miyiz? Stanley Bing Roma AS'de bunu yapiyor. Dunya tarihinin gelmis gecmis en buyuk ve en uzun omurlu imparatorlugunun yukselis ve cokus hikayesini modern zamanlarda yukselen ve cokuse gecen dev bir sirketin hikayesiymis gibi anlatiyor: Imparatorlarin CEO, diger devletlerin rakip sirket, saraylarin da holding binasi rolunu oynadigi heyecanli ve mizahi bir hikaye. "Buyuk samata... Antik cagda macerali bir yolculuk." -Financial Times "Keskin gozlemlerle dolu... Cok komik... Bing'in Roma'nin cokusunu anlattigi yerler ozellikle etkileyici." -The New York Times "Gibbon'in [Roma tarihinin] yoneticiler icin eglenceli bir ozeti... Zekice." -Kirkus Reviews"

Ilk Cokuluslu Sirketin Yukselisi Ve Cokusu

Roma as

Board Room Babies

A hilarious and tough-minded guide to winning the war of contemporary life. We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren′t getting any better. Jobs are few and far between, and people aren′t any nicer now than they were when Ghengis Khan ran around in big furs killing people in unfriendly acquisitions. For thousands of years, people have been reading the writings of the deeply wise, but also extremely dead Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu, who was perhaps the first to look on the waging of war as a strategic art that could be taught to people who wished to be warlords and other kinds of senior managers. In a nutshell, Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils. Every other book on The Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We′re going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

Sun Tzu Was a Sissy

A Survival Guide to the New Workplace

How to Relax Without Getting the Axe

From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world Curriculum, designed to augment—if not replace—the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250,000 of wasted business school tuition. Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, The Curriculum will teach you the art of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world. We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating A Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling. The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People. Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers. Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing’s proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), The Curriculum will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don’t know how it works.

Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

The Curriculum

Sit down. Breathe deep. This is the last business book you will ever need. For in these pages, Stanley Bing solves the ultimate problem of your working life: How to manage the boss. The technique is simple . . . as simple as throwing an elephant. All it takes is the proper state of mind, a step-by-step plan, and a great leap of faith. This humble guide provides all these and more. It is Zen that enables one to take an object of enormous weight and size and mold it in one's grasp like a ball of Silly Putty. For senior management, in truth, is the silliest putty of them all. This comprehensive course walks budding business bodhisattvas through basic skills needed to provide the simple elephant handling that makes everyday life possible, including but not limited to the primary task of following along after the elephant with a little broom and dustpan. Serious students will then move to intermediate steps, from Polishing the Elephant's Tusks to Hiding from the Elephant When It Has Been Drinking and Feels Quite Nasty. Beyond this level lies the land of the practiced Zen masters, culminating in the ability to leverage and then throw the now-weightless elephant--and even play catch with it at corporate retreats. If What Would Machiavelli Would Do? was the meanest business book since the Renaissance, Throwing the Elephant provides the yang to that yin. Because sometimes you've got to be selfless, compassionate, and completely empty to get the job done. Stanley Bing is a columnist for Fortune magazine and the author of What Would Machiavelli Do? and Lloyd: What Happened, a novel. By day, he works for a gigantic multinational conglomerate whose identity is one of the worst-kept secrets in business.

Zen and the Art of Managing Up

Throwing the Elephant

Su jefe esta loco?/ IS Your Boss Crazy?

Presents a humorous study of how Rome could be considered an ancient multinational corporation, characterized by brutal consolidations, managerial infighting, and other factors reminiscent of corporations in today's professional world.

What Would Machiavelli Do? He would feast on other people's discord He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

The Ends Justify the Meanness

What Would Machiavelli Do?

An ancient mogul has bought the power to live forever, but the strong young body he plans to inhabit has other ideas. The battle for immortal life begins in Stanley Bing’s “stimulating, satirical and perhaps even visionary novel” (Wall Street Journal). Immortal life. A fantasy, an impossible dream—or is it? The moguls of Big Tech are pouring their mountain of wealth into finding a cure for death and they are determined to succeed. None of these titans is richer than Arthur Vogel. The inventor, tech tycoon, and all-round monster has amassed trillions of dollars and rules over a corporate empire stretching all the way to Mars. The newest—and most expensive—life extension technology has allowed him to live to 127 years, but time is running out. His last hope to escape the inevitable lies with Gene, a human specifically created for the purpose of housing Arthur’s consciousness. The plan is to discard his aged body and come to a second life in a young, strong host. But there’s a problem: Gene. He may be artificial, but he is a person—and he has other ideas. As Arthur sets off to achieve his goal of world domination, Gene hatches a risky plan of his own. The forces against him are rich, determined, and used to getting what they pay for. The battle between creator and creation is heightened as the two minds wrestle for control of one body. Mixing brisk action, humor, and wicked social commentary, author Stanley Bing has crafted “an engaging and cautionary tale about the direction in which spaceship Earth is hurtling” (USA Today). Welcome to a brave new world that is too familiar for comfort—and watch the struggle for humanity play out to the bitter end.

The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it. What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all? The answer in all cases is "Yes." They all have bullshit jobs. These few, of course, are just the beginning. Across the length and breadth of this shrinking globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who "work" in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable -- they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do. At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs -- the money they bring with them, the actual tasks and activities involved (if any), and famous and successful examples of each position, who will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer what others so far have not--a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers at every level reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

Stanley Bing

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