Zachary Auburn

"Based on three 'zines that have collectively sold 35,000 copies, a parody guidebook for people to use to teach their cats about gun safety, abstinence, evolution, and other important right-wing concerns, which crosses the whimsy of Cat Fancy with the paranoia of a Chick Tract"--

And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety

ONE KID'S CONTINUING MISSION: CATALOG ALL ALIEN LIFE FROM STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. These are the voyages of Joshua Chapman. In 1990 at 11 years old, he wrote a field guide to the alien races of Star Trek: The Next Generation season one for school. He continued the project through his awkward teen years and into reluctant adulthood. Boldly go from season to season and learn about Star Trek: TNG aliens, from Acamarians to Zibalians. Explore strange new feelings, like Joshua's obsession with Data, and Joshua's angst toward his mother, who's more terrifying than a Yridian's face. Engage... with humanity at its weirdest.

The Next Generation

A Field Guide to the Aliens of Star Trek

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Zachary Auburn

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