Name: Acts of Desperation
Rating: 3.918269230769231 (104 reviews)
ISBN: 9780316429856

Megan Nolan

The female narrator falls completely into the power of a male writer. When he suddenly rejects her, she resolves to hang on to him and his love at all costs...even if it destroys her.

Acts of Desperation

Love was the final consolation, would set ablaze the fields of my life in one go, leaving nothing behind. I thought of it as a force which would clean me and by its presence make me worthy of it. There was no religion in my life after early childhood, and a great faith in love was what I had cultivated instead. Oh, don't laugh at me for this, for being a woman who says this to you. I hear myself speak. Even now, even after all that took place between us, I can still feel how moved I am by him. Ciaran was that downy, darkening blond of a baby just leaving its infancy. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. None of it mattered in the end; what he looked like, who he was, the things he would do to me. To make a beautiful man love and live with me had seemed - obviously, intuitively - the entire point of life. My need was greater than reality, stronger than the truth, more savage than either of us would eventually bear. How could it be true that a woman like me could need a man's love to feel like a person, to feel that I was worthy of life? And what would happen when I finally wore him down and took it?

Isabella

Feeling too much and then feeling even more. 

A story about the obsession of love and surrendering to it no matter how toxic the consequences can be. The protagonist of the story doesn’t tell the reader her name but her soul is bared to us almost instantly. 

Nolan’s characters try to live by the ambiguous rules of modern intimacy, but the desire to be loved can make even the most fictional people seem really relatable. 

But what happens when you stop feeling too much — and start feeling nothing at all?

Akriti

Feeling too much and then feeling even more. 

A story about the obsession of love and surrendering to it no matter how toxic the consequences can be. The protagonist of the story doesn’t tell the reader her name but her soul is bared to us almost instantly. 

Nolan’s characters try to live by the ambiguous rules of modern intimacy, but the desire to be loved can make even the most fictional people seem really relatable. 

But what happens when you stop feeling too much — and start feeling nothing at all?

I found this a tough read. I think the story is important to read, relatable in so many ways for so many women; the nuances and subtleties of male/female power dynamics and what it means to be seen. And while a page turner, I didn’t really enjoy it, there wasn’t any beauty, though I think that’s the point? I don’t know. 

Laura Gill

In the first scene of this provocative gut-punch of a novel, our unnamed narrator meets a magnetic writer named Ciaran and falls, against her better judgment, completely in his power. After a brief, all-consuming romance he abruptly rejects her, sending her into a tailspin of jealous obsession and longing. If he ever comes back to her, she resolves to hang onto him and his love at all costs, even if it destroys her…
 
Part breathless confession, part lucid critique, Acts of Desperation renders a consciousness split between rebellion and submission, between escaping degradation and eroticizing it, between loving and being lovable. With unsettling, electric precision, Nolan dissects one of life’s most elusive Why do we want what we want, and how do we want it?
 
Heralding the arrival of a stunning new literary talent, Acts of Desperation interrogates the nature of fantasy, desire, and power, challenging us to reckon honestly with our own insatiability.

the narrative of “doing anything & everything to feel an ounce of something” sits perfectly for this book. megan did a great job of showing how toxic love can be especially when you allow yourself to act out of desperation. she shows how one person can cause you to beg for love & brings you to lose yourself within the person you’re loving when you prioritize them over yourself.

there are contexts of mental illness along with trust issues, anxiety, depression, etc.

overall, great book & if you have ever begged someone to love you or love you correctly, this book will realize how sad that is & how much it’s not worth

saturn

the narrative of “doing anything & everything to feel an ounce of something” sits perfectly for this book. megan did a great job of showing how toxic love can be especially when you allow yourself to act out of desperation. she shows how one person can cause you to beg for love & brings you to lose yourself within the person you’re loving when you prioritize them over yourself.

there are contexts of mental illness along with trust issues, anxiety, depression, etc.

overall, great book & if you have ever begged someone to love you or love you correctly, this book will realize how sad that is & how much it’s not worth

The writing is captivating, and the exploration of love and obsession is raw and real. However, it’s a heavy read that can be triggering, dealing with themes like emotional manipulation and self-doubt. While it’s powerful and thought-provoking, be prepared for a story that delves into the darker sides of relationships. Definitely read the trigger warnings.

Luna 🌙

armoni mayes

I do not even know if i will be able to put into words how outstanding this novel was. It almost reads like a memoir because the experiences the MC goes through are relatable i am sure to many people that navigate this world as a woman/woman presenting. 
This is a story about two people that date & the experiences they share but it is also about the inner conflict the MC is dealing with whether that is about the relationship, her family, friends, and old lovers. 

Quotes that I am sure some of you will be able to relate to:

“I had suffered, and I had made the suffering into some thing I could consider good. I made it so that suffering was a kind of work.”

“What I am feeling is their [men] disregard for my reality. I am being made to wear whatever particular fantasy they wish to project.”

[context: sex with men] “ I hate them less afterwards, because I’ve made myself as pathetic as they are.” 

“It takes so much out of you to make yourself say no when you’ve been taught to say yes, to be accommodating, to make men happy.”


**major TW: rape**

i wasn’t aware i’d be getting a glimpse at some aspects of the worst relationship i’ve had when i picked this up! quite the ride!

dann

Helena

** spoiler alert **
           “I’d thought that a man’s love would make me so full up I’d never need to drink or eat or cut or do anything at all to my body ever again. I’d thought they’d take it over for me.
But now here I was, right inside it, with nobody to say what happened next.”

i felt literally sick to my stomach at some points of this book, but i’m so glad i pushed through. it’s so well written and her mind… she basically put into words things i can barely make myself think about because it’s so damn painful.

kayla 

am i the only one who liked this??? i could smell the trauma from a mile away—draining, but real

raia – inactive

Francesca G

I hatelove reading a book and feeling as if I'm looking into a mirror

Krystyna 

This story is told in vignettes surrounding this woman's life. It's the story about her self-destruction basically. She's obsessed with a guy and desperate for his attention, but he remains mostly cold, aloof, and abusive. Still, she's desperate for his love and attention and acts upon that. It deals with her toxic and unhealthy relationship with him, but also her unhealthy relationships with other people in her life, with food, and with herself. This is a beautifully written debut. It's raw, brutally honest, heartbreaking, and has basically every trigger warning you can think of. There are so many quotable lines that I took note of though. 
Note: It contains heavy topics that may not be for every reader, so tread with caution before you pick this one up.

Acts of Desperation

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