Ali Hazelwood

A forbidden, secret affair proves that all's fair in love and science - from New York Times bestselling author Ali Hazelwood. Rue Siebert might not have it all, but she has enough: a few friends she can always count on, the financial stability she yearned for as a kid, and a successful career as a biotech engineer at Kline, one of the most promising start-ups in the field of food science. Her world is stable, pleasant, and hard-fought. Until a hostile takeover and its offensively attractive front man threatens to bring it all crumbling down. Eli Killgore and his business partners want Kline, period. Eli has his own reasons for pushing this deal through-and he's a man who gets what he wants. With one burning exception: Rue. The woman he can't stop thinking about. The woman who's off-limits to him. Torn between loyalty and an undeniable attraction, Rue and Eli throw caution out the lab and the boardroom windows. Their affair is secret, no-strings-attached, and has a built-in deadline: the day one of their companies will prevail. But the heart is risky business-one that plays for keeps.

From the bestselling author of The Love Hypothesis

Not in Love

Fiona

I had no talent for enticing people to care about my work: either they saw its value, or they were wrong.

If people perceived me as aloof and detached, then they would want to keep their distance. And if they kept their distance, then they wouldn't notice how nervous and blundering and inadequate I was. A net win, in my humble opinion. A form of masking, in my therapist’s professional one. She thought I was hiding my real self and squashing down my feelings like jumbo marshmallows, but it had been so damn long, I wasn't so sure there was anything to hide inside me. The disconnect I constantly felt toward the rest of the world was unlikely to go anywhere, and whether it was real or not, it shrouded me with a comforting sense of security.

Julia <3

"I didn't peg you for a hybrid kind of guy.”

 He snorted and started the engine. "Don't say what you did peg me for." 

Aimee :)

"And something else. Something I didn't have the language for.

It was growing between us, and I didn't know how to name it.

Even when I could finally imagine life as something shared. Even when I trusted you. Even when my mind was always full of you.

There had never been anyone like you, and for a long time I didn't have the word."

The world stopped. Tipped over. Returned to its original state-but brighter. Sharper. Sweeter.

"If you still want me to love you, I really think I can love you back. Because I already do."

Tiny sleepily escorted me to the front door. He stared up at me with small, hopeful eyes, and before slipping out, I found myself reaching out. It took me about three attempts, but I managed to clumsily pat him on the head—and shockingly, I didn't screw it up. His tail swung in delight, and I smiled. Maybe there was hope for me, after all.

"Do you think that maybe there's another version of us, somewhere in another timeline?

Where were not just a messed-up lump of scar tissue, and were whole enough to be capable of loving others the way they want to be loved?"

"That's not it." He swallowed. Held my eyes with determination. "I just don't think that we need another timeline to be able to do that."

"A fair bit. Were not Nolan Sawyer level, or anything-“

He looked down at me, eyelashes fluttering. "You seemed interested in we, last night."

"I was." I bit the side of my cheek. "But last night I had no idea you were trying to steal the company I work for."

Sophia

“There is something I want to do for her. But I’m not sure she’ll accept it if it’s from me.”

Her look was concerned. “I think you’ve done enough, Eli. Shouldn’t you keep just a tiny bit of dignity?”

It was a joke, but Eli’s reply was serious. “I want her to be all right more than I want to keep my dignity.”

“Christ.” Minami gave him an aghast look. “On second thought, you might die from a broken heart.”

‘Could not be me,’ I thought. I was so sure. And then, Rue, I met you. And you casually cracked my life into 

 you.” His lips curved. For a moment he looked genuinely happy. “Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”

I thought I’d be rid of you by now. I thought I’d sweat you out. But it’s like you’ve stolen a little piece of me. And I’m afraid that when this is over, I’ll go back to my life, and my shape will have changed—just a little, but enough that I’ll no longer fit into my lonely, angular hole.

He stared at me for an endless moment, and a silly thought nestled into my mind.

If I were able to love someone, I would choose you. In that timeline, I would want it to be you.

His vocal cords felt paralyzed, so he went to the bathroom. When he caught his reflection, what he found in his eyes was terrifying. He’d told himself to be careful with her, over and over. To keep his guard up. He’d failed, miserably.

’re fucked. Completely, irrevocably fucked.

I let out something that sounded disturbingly like a giggle, but my body was still buzzing, thanking me for the best twenty minutes of its life. And Eli was still looking at me like I contained the entire universe.

“You moving in. You, quitting your job so we can do this twenty times a day. Me, retiring to service you full-time. Us, fucking around for the rest of our lives. Does it really not sound like a fantastic idea?”

 I just wanted to be with him. Was it so bad? Florence didn’t have to know. No one did. Just the two of us.

“Don’t say no, Rue,” he murmured. A low, heartfelt appeal. “Don’t do this to us.”

So easy to imagine some poor, hapless guy hanging from her every word. Making a full-time job out of teasing her. He’d put her at the center of his universe, and feel on top of the world when she eventually returned the favor.

Just the thought made him feel jealous, and angry, and a little sad.

Instead he moved on top of me, blanketing my body, one arm on each side of my head. He stared at me like I was a beautiful, exotic flower that had the power to kill him with a pollen drop.

He wasn’t going to connect dots until she asked him to, but he reserved the right to nurse the cold, aimless anger that began churning at the bottom of his stomach.

Do not hug her. Do not kiss the tip of her nose. Do not run your hand up and down her back. You don’t have to stick your fingers in her hair, and you most definitely do not need to fucking smell her throat. It’ll just send her running faster than a reminder that you still own Kline’s loan.

She was breathing evenly a minute after he’d settled her on the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress and stared for a long time, feeling creepy and teenage-ish and helpless to stop, feeling euphoric and smitten. He couldn’t remember ever experiencing anything like this, which meant that he should tread carefully, that she could be dangerous.

He is so in love he needs to accept it lol

“Okay. This is what’s going to happen—now we sleep, in my bed. Together. And when we wake up, we do this again. And we stop bullshitting ourselves and each other about whether this is the last time, whether we’re going to stop doing this, whether we have any control over how much we want this.”

And finally, humiliatingly, he begged, “Please.” He bit into her neck, and she didn’t shake her head or smile or say anything, she didn’t give in to what he was asking, but her eyes met his squarely, lovely and blue and calm, and that did it for him.

“Yeah.” He smiled. He was going to look at her until he died or until his eyes wore off, whichever came first. “Does it bother you?”

He tried to play it cool, but he hadn’t expected that she’d say yes to staying longer than she absolutely needed in order to get off. He’d spent half the night on edge, staring at the rise and fall of her chest under the sheet he’d laid on her, at the huddled, inconspicuous way she slept, convinced that she’d disappear if he dared to blink. But the morning light had come, and he’d found her next to him. He’d returned from walking Tiny, and her car had been parked in his driveway.

He was going to keep her. For himself. As long as he could.

 Did someone turn the heat on?? The chemistry in this book should have class studies. The smut was smutting 🤌 The angst was angsting 🤌 The banter?! You get the idea. This was not a normal Ali Hazelwood couple and I hope to never see normal again. I loved this so much and the emotional journey they had to get to. Not everyone is ready for rainbows and sunshine to get a HEA and this book was a great example of that. I hope to see more of this in our future

fanning myself Did someone turn the heat on?? The chemistry in this book should have class studies. The smut was smutting 🤌 The angst was angsting 🤌 The banter?! You get the idea. This was not a normal Ali Hazelwood couple and I hope to never see normal again. I loved this so much and the emotional journey they had to get to. Not everyone is ready for rainbows and sunshine to get a HEA and this book was a great example of that. I hope to see more of this in our future

Quick read, sexy romance, I was addicted! Love Ali Hazelwood 

Zoey Novak

✨“Although, it occurs to me,” she murmured against his mouth, breaking the spiral of his thoughts, “that rules exist for a reason.” She took a step back. Eli was entranced. Her servant. Spellbound. He considered begging her to let him touch her. To let him go down on her here in the hallway. He would go grocery shopping and make her dinner off a YouTube recipe of her choice. He’d wash her car, read her a book, sit here outside her door and just make sure she was safe and protected. They could hold hands all night. They could play Scrabble. He was very close to imploring for something, everything, anything, when she added, “And sometimes the reason is that they should be broken.”

✨“I’m sorry.” His Adam’s apple moved. “I forget to look at other things, when you’re around.”

✨It’s because with you I never have to worry about being too odd, too unlikable, too out of tune. You never make me feel anything other than just right.

✨Ask me for anything, he thought, anything at all, and watch me give it to you. Whoever came before me, they had no idea. I’m up for the challenge.

✨“You always need something to do.” Did I? Yes. Ever since I was a child, having a goal was the best way to avoid thinking about whatever misery I was going through. How did he know, though?

✨But I loved the way Eli looked at me like I was something special, something more. Like I could easily exhaust the entire spectrum of his needs. Like he couldn’t imagine looking anywhere else, ever.

✨“Do you think that maybe there’s another version of us, somewhere in another timeline? Where we’re not just a messed-up lump of scar tissue, and we’re whole enough to be capable of loving others the way they want to be loved?”

✨“Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”

✨I used to think that endings could be happy, or sad. That stories could be happy, or sad. That people could be happy, or sad. And I always figured that my ending, my story, me, would always fall in the latter.”

“But then I met you. And you made me wonder, for the very first time, if there was a flaw in my reasoning. Maybe people can be happy and sad. Maybe stories are messy and complicated. Maybe endings don’t always include solutions that tie everything together in a bow. But that doesn’t mean that they have to be tragedies.”

“I thought I could never be happy. But with you, Eli… I have never felt the way I do with you. Never. And I think that’s why it took me so long to put words to it.” 

Mariaaa

✨“Although, it occurs to me,” she murmured against his mouth, breaking the spiral of his thoughts, “that rules exist for a reason.” She took a step back. Eli was entranced. Her servant. Spellbound. He considered begging her to let him touch her. To let him go down on her here in the hallway. He would go grocery shopping and make her dinner off a YouTube recipe of her choice. He’d wash her car, read her a book, sit here outside her door and just make sure she was safe and protected. They could hold hands all night. They could play Scrabble. He was very close to imploring for something, everything, anything, when she added, “And sometimes the reason is that they should be broken.”

✨“I’m sorry.” His Adam’s apple moved. “I forget to look at other things, when you’re around.”

✨It’s because with you I never have to worry about being too odd, too unlikable, too out of tune. You never make me feel anything other than just right.

✨Ask me for anything, he thought, anything at all, and watch me give it to you. Whoever came before me, they had no idea. I’m up for the challenge.

✨“You always need something to do.” Did I? Yes. Ever since I was a child, having a goal was the best way to avoid thinking about whatever misery I was going through. How did he know, though?

✨But I loved the way Eli looked at me like I was something special, something more. Like I could easily exhaust the entire spectrum of his needs. Like he couldn’t imagine looking anywhere else, ever.

✨“Do you think that maybe there’s another version of us, somewhere in another timeline? Where we’re not just a messed-up lump of scar tissue, and we’re whole enough to be capable of loving others the way they want to be loved?”

If I were able to love someone, I would choose you. In that timeline, I would want it to be you.

✨“Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”

✨I used to think that endings could be happy, or sad. That stories could be happy, or sad. That people could be happy, or sad. And I always figured that my ending, my story, me, would always fall in the latter.”

“But then I met you. And you made me wonder, for the very first time, if there was a flaw in my reasoning. Maybe people can be happy and sad. Maybe stories are messy and complicated. Maybe endings don’t always include solutions that tie everything together in a bow. But that doesn’t mean that they have to be tragedies.”

“I thought I could never be happy. But with you, Eli… I have never felt the way I do with you. Never. And I think that’s why it took me so long to put words to it.” 

“What words?” “Safe,” she said.

“And accepted.”

“And enough.”

So I went into this one with no expectations and that was probably the best thing that could have happened with this book. This was another one that I didn’t like the characters. But the biggest thing was there was too much spice that it affected the plot for me. Because the little bit of plot that was here felt convoluted because of the amount of spice that nothing really made sense. I’ve said it in the past but Ali has a way of making me feel not the smartest because of the science in her books and I actually enjoyed that. But this was different and I didn’t really liked it. And the other smaller piece that didn’t play hugely into the plot was UT. I’m a born Aggie fan and while it’s so fun seeing Texas being in here it was like every five seconds it was said and it actually got annoying. But I know it played into that plot but between my dislike for the characters, the mass amount of spice it just all went downhill from there. 

Priscilla Stanfield

3/5⭐️ • 3.5/5🌶️

So I went into this one with no expectations and that was probably the best thing that could have happened with this book. This was another one that I didn’t like the characters. But the biggest thing was there was too much spice that it affected the plot for me. Because the little bit of plot that was here felt convoluted because of the amount of spice that nothing really made sense. I’ve said it in the past but Ali has a way of making me feel not the smartest because of the science in her books and I actually enjoyed that. But this was different and I didn’t really liked it. And the other smaller piece that didn’t play hugely into the plot was UT. I’m a born Aggie fan and while it’s so fun seeing Texas being in here it was like every five seconds it was said and it actually got annoying. But I know it played into that plot but between my dislike for the characters, the mass amount of spice it just all went downhill from there. 

How is that her erotic novel is the one that bummed me out the most lmao

Zoë Mauldin

No era lo que esperaba pero me gustó mucho, me hizo llorar 

Valeria 

I love Ali Hazelwood, and this wasn’t her normal read. It was hot and sexual and I loved it!  

Amanda 

This was WAY spicier than I normally read, but I think Ali Hazelwood did a great job of balancing that with an interesting plot and likable characters. I loved how obsessed Eli was with Rue and enjoyed all the science patent drama. I do think this book was a longer than it needed to be, but if you really like spice you’ll probably disagree.  

Also, duet narration is a game-changer!! 

Alli

This was WAY spicier than I normally read, but I think Ali Hazelwood did a great job of balancing that with an interesting plot and likable characters. I loved how obsessed Eli was with Rue and enjoyed all the science patent drama. I do think this book was a longer than it needed to be, but if you really like spice you’ll probably disagree.  

Also, duet narration is a game-changer!! 

I read this over the weekend after not being able to finish anything I've read in months. This touched on crucial topics, I adored the main plotline and I understood the need for their relationship to be more on the physical side. That being said. The constant sex had me wishing we'd go back to the main plotline.

I understood Rue's insecurities about committing to a relationship, but towards the end, the sex became an obstacle I needed to overcome to go back to the story. Even the epilogue was a sex scene.

I will give my tens when I see them though. The plot and for the most part the execution was great.

lami

I read this over the weekend after not being able to finish anything I've read in months. This touched on crucial topics, I adored the main plotline and I understood the need for their relationship to be more on the physical side. That being said. The constant sex had me wishing we'd go back to the main plotline.

I understood Rue's insecurities about committing to a relationship, but towards the end, the sex became an obstacle I needed to overcome to go back to the story. Even the epilogue was a sex scene.

I will give my tens when I see them though. The plot and for the most part the execution was great.

This isn’t a typical AH but I loved it so much!! 

Brittany Peterson

One of the most relatable FMCs I've read about in a long time. Genuinely loved this book

Danielle Silverman

I am still in the process of analyzing the whole book. It took me awhile to finished it and I finally did. The first few chapters were a little draggy but subsequently, it got me hooked. 

Eli Killgore is being describe as a man slut. But he sounds dreamy when he starts to show his obsession with Rue. Who wouldn’t want that to happen in real life? 

ReadwithZanariah 

I am still in the process of analyzing the whole book. It took me awhile to finished it and I finally did. The first few chapters were a little draggy but subsequently, it got me hooked. 

Eli Killgore is being describe as a man slut. But he sounds dreamy when he starts to show his obsession with Rue. Who wouldn’t want that to happen in real life? 

(lido em português) acho que esse livro vai ser muito 8 ou 80, vi várias críticas negativas mas mesmo assim aproveitei a história e o casal. infelizmente tenho que concordar que teve muita cena explícita dessa vez, o que tornou a leitura cansativa em algumas partes, mesmo assim adorei o casal! também gostei do que rolou no final e que não foi algo “do nada”

Lara Rebouças

It's happened: the formula looks too much like a formula this time around 

Annabella

Keira 💫

Okay but like why were they so cute?? 

I seriously love them 😭😭

millena

1.5 ⭐️ ladies and gentleman here’s the biggest disappointment of the year 💀

I spent 60% of the book thinking that 1 star would still be a lot but the last 40% was a little better but don't get too excited it's still bad anyway

Eli's chapters proved why Ali had never written a book with dual pov (and it should’ve stayed that way) bc his thoughts were always the same: “Rue is so hot” “I need to have sex with Rue RIGHT NOW or I’ll die” “god I'm so horny I need Rue” jesus christ man just CHILL 🤡 I know we love when he's obsessed with the fmc but he just sound like a horny teenager with more hormones than a body can handle

I didn't even come close to loving Rue's character BUT out of everyone she was my second favorite in this book (the competition was pretty bad just so you know) ((my favorite was Minami who appears a total of five times))

Istg this book has some of the cringiest lines I’ve ever read, I really don’t understand what the fuck happened with the writing bc her other books were perfectly ok?? 🫥 anyway I need to talk about expectations with my therapist and the fault it’s all yours Ali

Definitely listen to Ali when she says it’s more of an erotic romance than a rom com 

Joanna

Entertaining as alwaysssss 

Definitely listen to Ali when she says it’s more of an erotic romance than a rom com 

A cute read. I enjoyed the characters and their chemistry and development.

Sarah Campbell

Ester Waclavova

Welcome to my next instalments of Hazelwood’s writing and take 1 Sunny weekend and consider this booked started and finished and was a book that good to escape to but I have to say that I found the story to be a little lacking and for me just ended up being a Romance book with a story that was there but mostly just focused a lot of Smut.

28-year-old Rue Siebert is a biotech engineer at Kline, a pristine and promising start-up company for food science run by the brilliant and admired Florence Kline. Rue is socially awkward, and others often perceive this as cold and distant, but she is content with her few friends and stable job however her peace is threatened by the unexpected arrival of Harkness, a private equity firm that intends to bring Kline down. Not only that, one of the firm’s main leaders, 34-year-old Eli Killgore, is the man Rue met the night before after matching with him on a dating app, who saved her from a scene with her problematic brother and drove her home to keep her safe. This coincidence does not sit well with her, especially considering he wants to take over. Not on her watch.

This must be one of Hazelwood’s most serious books to date as the topics featured along with the Mental health issues that is covered throughout this one. Whilst I enjoyed how complex the characters felt I want not able to relate to them, but I could connect to being social awkward. However, I would say that there was a little too much spice for me and just ended up taking president with the rest of the storyline taking a back seat.

Ian Brakspear

Welcome to my next instalments of Hazelwood’s writing and take 1 Sunny weekend and consider this booked started and finished and was a book that good to escape to but I have to say that I found the story to be a little lacking and for me just ended up being a Romance book with a story that was there but mostly just focused a lot of Smut.

 

28-year-old Rue Siebert is a biotech engineer at Kline, a pristine and promising start-up company for food science run by the brilliant and admired Florence Kline. Rue is socially awkward, and others often perceive this as cold and distant, but she is content with her few friends and stable job however her peace is threatened by the unexpected arrival of Harkness, a private equity firm that intends to bring Kline down. Not only that, one of the firm’s main leaders, 34-year-old Eli Killgore, is the man Rue met the night before after matching with him on a dating app, who saved her from a scene with her problematic brother and drove her home to keep her safe. This coincidence does not sit well with her, especially considering he wants to take over. Not on her watch.

 

This must be one of Hazelwood’s most serious books to date as the topics featured along with the Mental health issues that is covered throughout this one. Whilst I enjoyed how complex the characters felt I want not able to relate to them, but I could connect to being social awkward. However, I would say that there was a little too much spice for me and just ended up taking president with the rest of the storyline taking a back seat.

I understood what Ali was doing here. She’s clever ngl, but this book kinda got me angry. On the other hand the way she incorporated various issues and traumatic experiences was actually incredible, it made me think deeply. Eli is definitely not one of my favourite book boyfriends but he’s alright🙈. 

Temi Awani

big ab

2.5 stars. this was ??? whatever to me. while i was reading it, i was like “sure ok” but then it ended and i was like “huh…well i feel nothing about this”. this is SO insta-love.. like “i said 4 sentences to her and im going to dedicate my entire life’s work to her”. it was just like “huh, wow, he’s really doing this??” every single ali hazelwood book is the same .. incredibly awkward stem girl experiences inequality in stem field but insanely hot stem guy comes to the rescue and is insanely obsessed with her.

Not in Love From the bestselling author of The Love Hypothesis

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