Alix E. Harrow

The Saint of War spares the life of a servant girl so she can fulfill her destiny as the kingdom's greatest warrior in this short story of love and loyalty by New York Times bestselling author Alix E. Harrow. Always mindful of the debt she owes, the girl finds her worth as a weapon in the hand of the Prince. Her victories make him a king, then an emperor. The bards sing her name and her enemies fear it. But the war never ends and the cost keeps rising-how many times will she repeat her own story?

The Six Deaths of the Saint

"No one will mourn you, no one will remember you. No one will even know your name—” 

I lean close and whisper, “One person will.”

I know him, and in knowing him I love him, and in loving him I cannot do as he wishes.

“I would rather love a coward than mourn a legend.”

Each time I came to you, I hoped you would hate me.

He said your name, even more softly. “You are not a knife.” 

And you said, wretchedly, “But I am his.”

“I could have killed you,” you said. 

The water tastes familiar in my mouth, sweet and rich as wine. It fills my lungs, and I smile as I drown.

But in the end, there was no saint, just a lonely girl telling secrets to herself in a dark mirror.

“I could have killed you,” you said, and he had answered, obscurely, “You never do.”

And you found you did not mind being a devil, so long as you were his.

He wore an expression you had never seen before, an avid, scorching hunger, which you thought must be love.

You rose. Your joints grated, and your vision spun in sickening lurches, but you rose, because she was a saint and you were nothing, because no one had ever needed you before.

mionne

Perhaps any tool, used hard enough and long enough, begins to fail. The water fills my mouth. I drown again.

But he is my King, and I am his Devil. I have given him my blood, my youth, my love, my good right hand; who am I now to begrudge him my death?

And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I.

“Do you truly mean to die, just so the King can hang a new map behind his throne?”

Julian

I wonder what the songs will say about the Devil now that she is covered in the blood of her own God.

You saw yourself as an unholy triptych, three into one, one into three: she the girl, you the Devil, and I the Saint. And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I.

You grew strong over those years, and fast, until your body was no longer something you wore but something you wielded, and Lord, what a weapon it became.

Jasper

yaya

Gwynne's voice cut through yours, his brow stll resting heavily on your forehead. "I would rather love a coward than mourn a legend."

      "I return briefly to Gwynne, long enough to kiss his brow and whisper to him what I should have understood lifetimes ago, what I should have told him every night and every morning. "I am yours.""

        "I would rather love a coward than mourn a legend."

        "I understand that this has all happened before, more than once and more than twice. I understand that I have made my life a work of bloody alchemy, transforming a child into a devil into a saint, a kingdom into an empire, a prince into a god That I have lived and killed and lived again in the name of a man who does not deserve it because I wanted so badly to be beloved."

If u told me 10 minutes earlier before finishing this, that a 35-page book would ruin me like this, I wouldnt believe u. 

but now? WHAT THE HELL I WASNT READY FOR ALL THAT!!

tine

      "I return briefly to Gwynne, long enough to kiss his brow and whisper to him what I should have understood lifetimes ago, what I should have told him every night and every morning. "I am yours.""

        "I would rather love a coward than mourn a legend."

        "I understand that this has all happened before, more than once and more than twice. I understand that I have made my life a work of bloody alchemy, transforming a child into a devil into a saint, a kingdom into an empire, a prince into a god That I have lived and killed and lived again in the name of a man who does not deserve it because I wanted so badly to be beloved."

If u told me 10 minutes earlier before finishing this, that a 35-page book would ruin me like this, I wouldnt believe u. 

but now? WHAT THE HELL I WASNT READY FOR ALL THAT!!

Oh alix, what have you done to me? 😭

Beautiful, captivating, absolutely breathtaking, a masterpiece.

riry

oh how i would kill to read this book for the first time again. to say that it leaves me devastated would be an understatement

how can a short thirty pages story do this to me? made me feel different kind of emotions like confusion, yearning, sadness, etc. as if i am the main character.

Maya 

arwen

Marz 

What a wonderful short story, beautifully written but so brief. I think in a way it's the perfect length for the story itself.

karo

Krys C.

The way I randomly decided to start this book because I was stuck in horrible traffic with this infernal heat and humid weather... now I'm sitting in a jeepney waiting for the traffic light to turn green while the trajectory of my life has been changed, my brain chemistry has been altered, and I have been remade as a person.

james

this book kworded itself in front of me and changed the trajectory of my life

Safeya Wilson

aleksandra

4/5

Only thirty pages, but I still cried. I wish it was longer. I need more, despite the ending. 


  
    "I know him, and in knowing him I love him, and in loving him I cannot do as he wishes."

“Well, she is my Devil now.” And you found you did not mind being a devil, so long as you were his."

this altered me in ways i cant properly describe rn

Rune

andrea valentina 

Más allá que esta sea una historia romántica hermosa, la manera como está escrito este cuento es bellísimo. Amé cada parte y el desenlace.

allison chen

interesting but confusing? immersive to say the least

"i could've killed you" "you never do". thank you, miss caricanread, for recommending this book. i definitely see myself re-reading the story, again, one day!

lea.

Catarina Lopes 

Who knew a 30 page book would make me feel more than a lot of other 400 page books

Tatiana

THE AUDIOBOOK IS SO PHENOMENAL & THE WRITING IS BEAUTIFUL!!!! I want more like this!!! Incredible short story you can read in less than an hour!

nina 

“But only one person in all my lives has ever loved me, and he does not wear a crown” 

sometimes 2nd person POV really is a serve. 3.75 stars

fatru tamzil

Yes, booktwt brought me here. 

No, I didn't regret anything I read, not a single paragraph of this story I didn't devour with tears in my eyes. This was written so magically and so beautifully, and it makes me wept to know a knight might make fate her own and end so tragically. I cannot, and will not, actually say what the plot of this story is, for that itself would be a spoiler, and also most of the story itself is something that you need to experience for yourself in order to feel it. 

You are the girl. You are the knight. You are the Saint. You are everything you make yourself to be. You want to devout yourself to the King. You want to be yourself, you long to be validated, you wanted to be with the one you love. And honestly, isn't this us all? 

"You saw yourself as an unholy triptych, three into one, one into three: she the girl, you the Devil, and I the Saint. And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I."

bel 

This was so so beautiful, I can’t believe it’s less than 100 pages.

The Six Deaths of the Saint

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