Amber Smith

The Way I Used to Be

rudolf

" Because whatever he thinks I am, I'm not. And whatever he thinks my body is, it isn't. My body is a torture chamber. Is a fucking crime scene. Hideous things have happened here”

I study that word, Mom. It looks wrong. I can't remember the last time I thought of her as "Mom.” Somehow it feels easier-more appropriate, even-to think of my parents as Vanessa and Connor. 

Jazz

Because whatever he thinks I am, I’m not. And whatever he thinks my body is, it isn’t. My body is a torture chamber. It’s a fucking crime scene.

Nova <3

“ It feels like that scene in The Wizard of Oz when everything changes from black and white to color. “

“Are you really okay?” I nod, even though I’m not sure if I am — if I ever will be. 

“ If words are weapons, if they could wound physically, then he just shot a hundred-pound cannonball through the center of my body. “

“ And suddenly the reality of it all comes crashing down like a storm inside of me—it feels like someone’s taking my internal organs and twisting them into demented balloon animals. “

Kiyarra

When I come out of my bedroom later that night, I force myself not to apologize to them. Because I desperately want to, want their approval---crave it. But I have to start standing up for myself. And it has to start with them, because it was woth them that it began.

All you have to do is act normal and okay, and people start treating you that way

The Way I Used to Be quotes

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