Amir Levine

Hel Levine

We now know that the desire to become attached to a partner is a natural human drive. And according to the new science of attachment, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: 1) ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. 2) AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimise closeness. 3) SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognise the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners or improve your existing relationship. Packed with fascinating psychology and case studies from successful - and unsuccessful - couples you can discover how to avoid the Anxious-Avoidant trap, why Secures can partner any type and how to love the Secure way. Attached is your road map to the perfect match and lasting love.

Attached

2.) Is Homer Simpson goals now? This book says yes x

3.) That heading really cracked me up... Put some respect on the secures names!!

Jemima Youard

A FINAL WORD OF RECOGNITION SECURES OF THIS WORLD 

Before we learned about attachment theory, we took the secures of the world for granted, and even dismissed them as boring. But looking through the attachment prism, weve come to appreciate secure people's talents and abilities. The goofy Homer Simpson like colleague whom we barely noticed was suddenly transformed into a guy with impressive relationship talent who treats his wife admirably...

Kyler Phillips

Just over 50 percent are secure, around 20 percent are anxious, 25 percent are avoidant, and the remaining 3 to 5 percent fall into a fourth, less common disorganized category.

Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the levels of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities.

If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, first find the right person to depend on and travel down it with them.

A secure base is a prerequisite for a child’s ability to explore, develop, and learn.

Our brain assigns our partner the task of being our secure base, the person we use as an emotional anchor and a safe haven, the one we turn to in time of need. We are programmed to seek their emotional availability.

Devaluing your partner when things become too close is very typical of people with an avoidant attachment style and is used as a way to create emotional distance.

The more attuned you are to your partner’s needs at the early stages—and he or she to yours—the less energy you will need to expend attending to him or her later.

Attached quotes

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