Amy Chua

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

This is the kind of book that you hate because you see your parents deeply in, but you also despise, for their cruelty, but you also admire because who the fuck else is gonna say this shit out loud. Like she’s like yeah I psychologically damaged my kids but they’re prodigies and so smart so it was worth it! idk. There’s truth in here buried under a Lot of narcissistic parenting but Amy Chua would say i only think that because im raised in the soft generation. Guess we’ll see in a couple years. quick brain slip read during finals. 

Jim Hagan

Read for easy entertainment and the voyeurism of memoir

jess

I was bamboozled when I found out so many bad reviews following this book. “A menace to society", "an inhuman mother", or "a simply arrogant and insensitive show-off": to judge by the flurry of hostile reaction, Amy Chua's book has evidently hit a nerve. Her daughters are straight-A students and music prodigies, with the older daughter playing at Carnegie Hall at 14. Anything less would be a disgrace to the Tiger Mother. Sure enough, with the infamous book she has portrayed, she is often assigned a gamut of roles, from crazy batshit insane to the messiah of parenting. I do believe Tiger Mother is an honest recount of Chua's parenting years, much of it involving the musical pursuits of her daughters. While lacking the sparkle of literary non-fiction, Chua's writing is precise, thorough and easily readable. It's not a work of art, but it is a well-put together book that really opens up the table for discussion. In helping to start a debate about what is good and what is missing in both Chinese and western parenting, this book has already served a purpose its author probably did not intend. Chua hammers western parenting, but she could learn from it too. And if she knew her Confucius, she would know that moderation in all things is the essence of Chinese culture.

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what Chinese parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it... Amy Chua's daughters, Sophia and Louisa (Lulu) were polite, interesting and helpful, they were two years ahead of their classmates in maths and had exceptional musical abilities. But Sophia and Lulu were never allowed to attend a sleepover, be in a school play, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, and not be the #1 student in every subject (except gym and drama). And they had to practice their instruments for hours every day, as well as in school breaks and on family holidays. The Chinese-parenting model certainly seemed to produce results. But what happens when you do not tolerate disobedience and are confronted by a screaming child who would sooner freeze outside in the cold than be forced to play the piano? In Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua relates her experiences raising her children the 'Chinese way', and how dutiful, patient Sophia flourished under the regime and how tenacious, hot-tempered Lulu rebelled. It is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It's also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how they made it to Carnegie Hall. It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how you can be humbled by a thirteen-year-old. Witty, entertaining and provocative, this is a unique and important book that will transform your perspective of parenting forever.

Keven Wang

Ughhhh could not make it though the first few chapters

Updated with a new postscript by Amy Chua and a letter from her eldest daughter, Sophia Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how you can be humbled by a thirteen-year-old. Witty, entertaining and provocative, this is a unique and important book that will transform your perspective of parenting forever.

Rohan Uddin

I may not agree with all the tactics Tiger Mother used, but my interest was piqued in the way she made her daughters learn the violin and the piano. Now I want to master these instruments too.

Ivy X

This book makes me realize that "everything in moderation" also applies to parenting. To start, I cannot judge this family fully as I am not a part of it and was raised differently in many aspects. Amy Chua's parenting may have worked very well for her children, and her children may now realize/understand why this form of parenting was forced upon them. However, being a Chinese daughter to immigrant parents, I must say my childhood and academic experience up till college was not like this at all. My parents were strict and definitely made their expectations clear, but they were not forcing it the way Chua did to her children. 

Amy Chua definitely loves her children. I can see that. She wants the best for them and has a standard of excellence she wants them to meet. However, I found this book frustrating. While her children are successful and extremely talented, I question their happiness and their fulfillment from having a childhood as such. This level of pressure for perfection on one's shoulders can be extremely anxiety-inducing and also cause a ridiculous amount of stress. I'd be surprised if her children didn't suffer from some form of anxiety or some sort of fear toward failure. I also question if they feel like some of their passions were stunted/hindered in their youth, and are only able to develop now as they are older. Did they also have a hard time connecting with peers because of the lack of exposure to other areas of life? 

My parents have raised 2 well-educated and successful Chinese daughters as well but not with the same strict mentality as Amy Chua's. They want us to be respectful and also do well in school but they have also provided room for failure, for our voices to be heard, and for us to self-start any of our own passion projects. It has made me feel confident in going to my parents about everything and ask for help when needed, and it also had me dependent on myself to make the most out of my childhood/youth/career/etc. So seeing that my sister and I turned out pretty well under fairly open-minded parents, I had a hard time accepting Amy Chua's parenting because of how close-minded many of her statements seemed. 

I found Amy Chua to be too much. It became very clear to me she tied a successful life to achievements when she was even looking up rankings for how smart her dog was. She has an obsession tied to proving success through accolades and achievements, and she is able to force her family to practice, to work harder, to not disobey in order to get those perfect results. However, it is clear this is not a healthy way to parent or build any relationship with those around her. My heart broke when Lulu said that she didn't have any friends because she wasn't allowed to do anything. I can't even imagine being in her position or being in this family. It seemed like everyone's voice was not heard except for Amy Chua's. Chua views her parenting as successful when her children are able to respect her while getting good grades/awards. Her parenting is good if you only look at it through how successful/talented her daughters are. In that sense, kudos to her and her daughters for being able to achieve so much. However, this kind of childhood and this kind of preparation for adulthood can also lead to a lack of fulfillment in the future.

Nelson Zagalo

4 stars not for the literature quality, but for the story told, and the courage to bring it out into public. The book is supposed to portray the differences between Chinese and Western parenting education culture, however the book ends showing much more than that. Anyone with kids worried about their education and future will understand how brilliant kids achieve high standards. How much effort must be put by parents and children, and will get a glimpse into how harsh and difficult all this is. 
The book tells a true story, a story well told, with full crescendo and changing characters. After knowing all characters it'll be hard to put the book down.

Will review about the education factors in the book in my blog soon.

Análise em Português: http://virtual-illusion.blogspot.com/...

Jennifer Dieter

I wish my parents had been a little more "Chinese." I didn't feel like her parenting style was all that bad, and she makes a lot of really good points.

Yoomi

I had read countless arguments, articles, and reviews about the book so I knew what was coming but I still can't believe this book was published as is. At first, I laughed because my parents raised me in a similar way. And as miserable as I thought I was then, I am now eternally grateful for what they did and I love and respect them so much. But then halfway through, her book went over the edge. She was no longer a tiger mom but a crazy one. And at the end, it was apparent that she never did figure out how to end the book or what her point was. It ruined it for me. If I was her editor, I would have handed it back like she did when her daughters gave her the sad, last minute homemade birthday cards and told her it wasn't good enough. A disgrace.

Neva Davies

Rereading Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua was an experience. The first time I ever read it was for an English class my first quarter of college. 

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a memoir, and a story about how raising kids using one method doesn't always work. 

I really enjoyed my reread, and definitely think everyone should read The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, if they haven't already!

Danica Holdaway

This book was so interesting! She is psychotic but I really loved thinking about her Chinese parent philosophies. I like the idea of communicating belief and trust in our kids, though this is taking it way too far. I couldn’t put it down though.

Lloyd Dalton

Nico J

After seeing the vitrol and opinion-based articles buzzing about Amy Chua, I decided that the best thing to do would be to read the account myself. Frankly, I'm torn. On one hand, I agree with her and the idea that "Western" (please note that she explains her defintions of "Western" vs. "Chinese in nearly the first page of the book, and though it comes off as blatant generalization, she clarified her definitions; by her standard, my parents would have been considered very "Chinese" as well, namely, the behaviors of immigrants and working class) parents expect very little out of their children and have the tendency to coddle instead of engaging and working through subjects and situations that may hurt. No parent wants to see a child truly hurt, but I feel there are vastly different defintions of what that entails. I am frustrated with vapid, boring, and ignorant children that are the byproduct of parents' misguided ideas to be "scared of the world." When I hear it, I cringe ... keep in mind these are also my anecdotes and generalizations about parents I meet and observe. 

On the other hand, Amy takes it too far in a number of situations, usually with Lulu, but also with her husband. She is the "mean parent", the discipliner, and that will always come with resistance and bitterness that will be difficult to shake. However, to sacrifice time and goodness, such as ruining a vacation with pettiness (and that is exactly what I thought it was: just plain petty of her to inconvenience and frustrate everyone else) that effects more than her, her daugher, and the relationship. It strains everyone involved in a "self-sacrificing" way that, while she may have perceived it as noble and selfless, it was not. During the journey, she acknowledges differences between her daughters but as far as working through those issues, I am not quite sure that was acheived. The last chapter was almost smarmy, with everybody agreeing with the verdict in the end that her way was "best." Made me cringe, as I did with the instances in which she said she would burn her toys . . . there is an underlying current of ruling by fear, but Lulu ends up taking the hard, rebellious route, and good on her. Ruling 100% by fear breeds distrust, and I remember the reasons that bitterness and my "shutting down" behaviors manifested: Autonomy was limited. A lack of trust. Consistently trying to view via a worldview that was clearly at odds with the one I experienced (i.e., drumming leads to drugs, generalizations about "hippies" and drama, sleepovers and playdates, etc, sabotaging friendships and social potential in general). Children internalize that and are not so hapless that it is not noticed. 

All in all, there are strategies we can take with a grain of salt - but something still nags at me, spurring the question if her behavior is sufficient to begin to understand the parenting culture of Chinese parents, or if it would be a good idea approach this with a large dose of skepticism.

Neeti Choudhari

Such a brilliant read. A satirical memoir of an overbearing, fanatic, crazy Chinese mother. Hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

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