B.A. Paris

***The Million-copy International Bestseller*** ‘If you love The Girl on the Train read Behind Closed Doors’ Elle ‘Twists our expectations of the entire psychological thriller genre’ Guardian

Behind Closed Doors

A Novel

Amanda Autumn Berrey

Jack kept up a steady stream of conversation, telling me—for the benefit of the people sitting at nearby tables—all the things we would be doing that day. In reality, we did none of them.

As I showered and dressed with him looking on, I took comfort from what he had said the previous evening, that he wasn’t interested in me sexually.

Were it not for Millie, I would gladly exchange death for this new life that I lead.

she tells him that she can hear flies buzzing around in her head.

tell her that you’ll come and see her regularly once she’s moved in

‘And she’s particularly attached to you. Perhaps you could reassure her that you’ll always keep in touch, that you’ll continue to see her once she’s left,’ I go on. ‘If you want to, that is.’ ‘Of course I do! Millie has become like a little sister to me.’

In the sick world that Jack has created for me, there are many things I’m not allowed to do and wasting food is one of them.

I’ve managed to kill two birds with one stone. First and foremost, you’ve just proved in front of dozens of people that you’re unstable—the manager is, at this very moment, writing an account of your behaviour earlier on so there is a record of it—and, secondly, you have hopefully learnt that I will always be one step ahead of you.’ He paused a moment to let his words sink in. ‘Now, this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to take my hand off your mouth and if you so much as whimper I’ll force-feed you enough pills to kill you and make your death look like the suicide of an unbalanced young woman. If that were to happen, as Millie’s only surviving guardian, I would, of course, keep the promise we made her and bring her to live in our lovely new house—except that you won’t be there and who would protect her? Have I made myself clear?’ I nodded mutely. ‘Good.’

Not that I intend to kill her—I made that mistake once before.’

so, while I was waiting to find someone all of my own, I cloaked myself in respectability. First, I looked for a perfect name and came up with Angel. I actually considered calling myself Gabriel Angel but I thought it might be going a step too far so I had a little think, did a little investigating, discovered that the good men in films are often called Jack and hey presto! Jack Angel was born. Then I found myself the perfect job.’ He shook his head in amusement. ‘The irony of it never ceases to amaze me—Jack Angel, defender of battered women. But I also needed a perfect life—when a man gets to forty with no sign of a wife in sight people begin to ask questions—so you can imagine how I felt when I saw you and Millie together in the park, my perfect wife and my…’ ‘Never!’ I spat. ‘I will never be your perfect wife. If you think I’m going to stay married to you after what you’ve told me, have your children—’ He burst out laughing, cutting me off. ‘Children! Do you know what the hardest thing I’ve ever done is? It wasn’t killing my mother or seeing my father go off to prison—both those things were easy, a pleasure even. No, the hardest thing I’ve ever done is have sex with you. How could you not have guessed, how could you not have seen through my excuses? How could you not have realised when I did finally have sex with you that I found it an effort, disgusting, unnatural? That’s why I disappeared last night. I knew you’d be expecting me to make love to you—after all, it was our wedding night—and the thought of having to go through with it just to keep up appearances was more than I could bear. So you see, I am not expecting you to have my children. When people begin asking, we will tell them that we are experiencing problems, and after that they will ask no more out of politeness. I need you to be my wife, but in name only. You are not my reward, Grace, Millie is.’

‘There was once a young boy who lived in a country far, far away from here with his mother and father. When he was very young, the boy feared the strong and powerful father, and loved the mother. But when he saw that the mother was weak and useless and unable to protect him from the father, the boy began to despise her, and rejoiced in the look of terror in her eyes as the father dragged her down to the cellar to be locked in with the rats. ‘The knowledge that the father could instil such terror into another human being turned the boy’s fear of him into admiration and he began to emulate him. Soon, the sound of his mother’s screams coming up through the floorboards became music to his ears, and the smell of her fear the richest perfume. Such was the effect it had on him that he began to crave it, so that when the father left him in charge the boy would take the mother down to the cellar, her pleas for mercy as she begged him not to leave her there only serving to excite him. And afterwards, as he drank in the sound of her fear and breathed in the smell of it, he wished he could keep her there for eternity. ‘One night, when the boy was about thirteen years old, the mother managed to escape from the basement while the father was working outside in the allotment. But the boy knew that if she left, he would never hear the sound of her fear again so he hit her, to stop her from leaving. And when she screamed, he hit her again. And again. And the more she screamed, the more he hit her and he found he couldn’t stop, even when she fell to the ground. And, as he looked down at her smashed and bloodied face, he thought she had never looked more beautiful. ‘The father, brought by the mother’s screams, arrived and pulled the boy off her. But it was too late, because she was already dead. The father was angry and hit the boy and the boy hit him back. When the police came, the boy told them that his father had killed the mother and that he had tried to protect her. So the father went to prison and the boy was glad. ‘As the boy grew older, he began to crave someone of his own, someone in whom he could instil fear whenever he wanted, however he wanted, someone he could keep hidden away, someone nobody would ever miss. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to find such a person, but he was convinced that if he looked hard enough, he eventually would. And, while he looked, he searched for a way to satisfy his cravings. So do you know what he did?’ I shook my head numbly. ‘He became a lawyer, specialising in cases of domestic violence. And then do you know what he did?’ He leant forward and put his mouth close to my ear. ‘He married you, Grace.’

Everything I have ever told him, he has used against me.

I have almost four months, I remind myself, four months to find that window of opportunity and to somehow get me and Millie through it by myself, because there is no one to help us.

The door opens and he stands in the doorway, my handsome, psychopathic husband.

Without routine, there is no risk of me becoming institutionalised and unable to think for myself. And I must think for myself.

There is no regularity to the meals he brings me. I may get one in the morning or one in the evening, or none at all. If he brings me breakfast, there may be cereals and a glass of juice, or a piece of fruit and water. In the evenings, it may be a three-course meal and a glass of wine, or a sandwich and some milk. Jack knows there is nothing more comforting than routine so he denies me any semblance of it.

that it was the knowledge I would do anything for Millie which made him realise I was the woman he’d been looking for all his life, another.

when he said that Millie coming to live with us would add another dimension to our lives, is just one example of his double entendres.

He prides himself on uttering only the truth, and enjoys that I am the only one who understands the meaning behind his words.

Any meal he brings me is served on a plastic plate and accompanied by plastic cutlery and a plastic glass.

I have no access to medicine, knives or any other instrument of destruction,

How could I have really thought that Jack would let me attend a lunch on my own, where I could have used the opportunity to escape from him?

no books, no paper or pen that I could use to distract myself.

I have never hated a fictional character so much with my entire being. I went into this not knowing what it was about and since chapter ONE I was so enraged. As someone who has studied the topic of DV before I was pissed the entire book, which you know that means that the author did a magnificent job. And that last line? Completely shattered me. I'm gonna read a comfy cottage core fantasy now (hopefully) so I can calm down cuz this was so good that im so mad about it.

Tsu 💙

Was a very interesting story. Jack was seriously a terrible man, but her staying didn’t really make sense. It bothered me she didn’t say anything to her parents before they left. I wish we got to see more of what actually happened. Everything in the book was very descriptive until the end, which I would have wanted to be most descriptive. Loved Millie’s part with the pills. 

Ava DeFrances

The friends of a seemingly perfect socialite couple that begin to see cracks in the facade when they realize that the husband and wife are never apart and that there are bars on one of the couple's upstairs windows.

Samantha 

The ending was epic, the last page is what surprised me the most! I loved the story, it was a tense read!

blue

Y’all this book was CRAZY. I seriously never could figure out what was going to next. When I first started reading it I couldn’t figure out why I got it but it made so much sense after and I didn’t want to put it down.

Lauren Dale

This book was a super quick read I just could wait to get to the end to see how the main character gets out on top. Satisfying ending 🩷

Kiana Johnson

**TW domestic violence

This book was a super quick read I just could wait to get to the end to see how the main character gets out on top. Satisfying ending 🩷

** spoiler alert **
           

 I will be honest,I had higher expectations with this book especially after seeing a few very good reviews.I felt that it was predictable and sometimes quite annoying (despite the fact that I understand Grace’s “impossibility” of escaping in those particular moments).

 Overall it was a good read, but I can definitely say it’s not the best thriller I’ve read with this kind of “theme”.

alexandria slocum

behind closed doors takes you on a wild ride. you will experience so many emotions as you learn more about the “perfect couple” grace and jack. grace and jack seem to be a perfect couple, and although they are still newlywed, they seem to have it all. but you soon start to question why grace is never able to grab coffee or get together with her girlfriends, or have a phone. why there are security bars on windows or why grace isn’t even allowed to carry a pen with her. the ending of this book had me floored, and i still haven’t stopped thinking about it. behind closed doors is an amazing psychological thriller that will have you all over the place and in shock at what you learn happens behind closed doors.

Holy moly this book was insane! All the different twist throughout and Jack was freaking insane! Loved the ending though it was so satisfying!

Hannah Williams

Oliver Magnanimous

Bad writing and bad plot. Exciting though, I read it in three days.

Marcy Pursell 

** spoiler alert **
           This book had me intrigued, and I thought the dual timelines made it interesting, but I felt like there was a lot of buildup and then nothing happened... And I never understood what Jack actually meant to do with Millie. It felt like a dumb ending, and I expected so much more.

Disturbing on so many levels, but I couldn’t put it down. 

Amanda 

Teba nabeel

This filled me with fear and anticipation and so much anxiety.
Gosh the end literally made me tear up

Jaden Nelson

Short version: Super page turny, really suspenseful and super intelligent plot. I basically read the whole thing in like 6-ish hours(in one day), lots of plot twists, but I don't really want to read it again super soon; I would definitely recommend reading it to others though.

Melissa Palmer

Book #113 Read in 2016
Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris

This book is one that a reader will not be able to put down. Jack and Grace seem to be the perfect couple--but what is really going on in their marriage? This book makes Gone Girl look like a fairy tale. This book is a great psychological thriller and I highly recommend it. I borrowed this book from the public library.

Jule

Classic what you see is what you get.
If you are looking for a straightforward story which you could easily listen to on the side, this one is it.

Goes to show that it doesn’t always have to have a big plot twist to be interesting.

This was one of the first suspense/ thriller books I ever read and I loved it, I don’t remember the details anymore but I still think about it to this day. I know the plot twist was good and not too easily predictable. 

Levena Banda

A real page turner. Terribly compelling. A really easy read about Grace, the perfect wife who lives in a perfect house, has a perfect marriage and lives the perfect life; and movie-star handsome Jack Angel, the perfect husband and charming lawyer who defends battered women and has never lost a case. But how well do you know your partner? And how long into the marriage do the skeletons start to appear? Absolutely riveting! I read this in one sitting and right from the first chapter, alarm bells went off in my head, there were red flags everywhere. I devoured this

Peggy Walker

I picked this up at the airport, looking for a thriller to pass the time. I think I had actually read it before on my Kindle. Not memorable enough. 

I found it difficult to believe that Jack could completely hide what a psychopath he was from Grace and all those around him. He would not know how to imitate a caring, nurturing man. I also found it hard to believe he would shut it all off immediately following the wedding, with no transition at all. I also found it hard to believe that someone who had carved out a good life for herself on her own like Grace would find herself so totally alone and helpless. I just found it all hard to believe. Would not recommend.

Zaira A 

The story grabs you from the beginning. It is such a quick read since you want to know how the book ends. Although the book keeps you in suspense, I felt that certain aspect of the story needed further development. I was expecting more surprising twist to the story, certain aspect were a little bit predictable. I still felt the fear and desperation of the characters. In certain chapters I was in the edge of my seat wanting to know whats going to happen. Overall it was a very good suspense book. I cant wait to read more of her books in the future.

Toni Scola

Alexis Donahue

Interesting read… the ending was good and well thought out!

Miyah Smallwood

** spoiler alert **
           3.5 stars,,,, This book was good. I was irritated with Grace though because the obvious disrespect from Jack was just unreal. First it started off with him telling her to wear the cream dress instead of the blue dress, knowing that Mille love how blue looks on Grace. That was simple but noticeable too. Then the fact that Grace was so desperate (tbh) that she quit her job, sold her house, took the money from selling her house and put it towards a house that she has never seen before all for a man that she hasn’t even married yet that she met about 2 weeks ago. I don’t know who is more crazy, Jack or Grace. Then to add on, he used Millie’s disability to get a better seat on the plane. This left my jaw dropped. But i should have seen it coming sadly bc of his character. Overall though, Esther help me keep reading. Shout out to her for saving Grace once she left (this part was confusing at first but then i had to remember that Jack was dead). I knew that red room had some potential and meaning. Was this book irritating at times, yes. But did it pull through in the end, also yes.

Behind Closed Doors

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