Name: Strangers
Rating: 3.865384615384615 (26 reviews)
ISBN: 9781529936117

Belle Burden

'A beautifully written eulogy for the loss of a relationship' Joyce Carol Oates How do we go on when a loved one betrays us? On a chilly day in March of 2020, in the early days of the pandemic, Belle Burden's husband of twenty years announced, with no prior warning, that he was leaving her. His decision shocked Belle to her core: she believed he was a happy man, a committed partner, and a devoted father to their three children. She thought he was a man who had settled into the life he had always wanted: a successful career, summers spent at their beloved home on Martha's Vineyard, lots of tennis. Overnight, he transformed from her steady companion into a stranger. As she pieces her life together in the wake of a loss she had never imagined coming, she finds she is much stronger than she ever expected. Exploring the transformation of a shy, quiet girl, nicknamed 'Belle the Good' to a powerful, brave, determined woman who has learned to use her voice to expose the patriarchal structures that have forced women to be discreet and compliant for far too long, Strangers is a must-read memoir of self-discovery.

The Story of a Marriage

Strangers

very avg writing but very touching story. i don't understand how a husband could just leave with no explanation; he must be a psychopath or the most cowardly person ever and dissociated the second he was caught cheating, because he couldn't face seeing himself as a failure (I googled how psychologists would analyze this behavior). words cannot describe the trauma and pain of what the author went through. i am very interested in stories about women going through divorce and realistic experiences in marriage. i liked that she writes to reclaim her narrative despite her ex gaslighting her--this is also why i write. 

i also liked how she interlaced her work as a pro bono immigration lawyer throughout. it works because both her and her clients are navigating their lives being upended by people/systems more powerful than they are, and they have to fight and navigate the system and persist through. 

cherie

very avg writing but very touching story. i don't understand how a husband could just leave with no explanation; he must be a psychopath or the most cowardly person ever and dissociated the second he was caught cheating, because he couldn't face seeing himself as a failure (I googled how psychologists would analyze this behavior). words cannot describe the trauma and pain of what the author went through. i am very interested in stories about women going through divorce and realistic experiences in marriage. i liked that she writes to reclaim her narrative despite her ex gaslighting her--this is also why i write. 

i also liked how she interlaced her work as a pro bono immigration lawyer throughout. it works because both her and her clients are navigating their lives being upended by people/systems more powerful than they are, and they have to fight and navigate the system and persist through. 

I liked this memoir most for its introspection and the honest and heart wrenching moments Burden endured. Rather than fight to understand why someone acted the way they did, it’s sometimes better to let go and create a new story. 

Jessica

Demolished this in one day - as good as everyone says and beautifully written

Robyn Smith

An honest and raw account of relationships, intimacy and society. Really beautifully written but I personally found it sad and a challenge to read because of how honest/real it felt. 

Orlagh McDonald

INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Burden’s searing, probing memoir explores . . . what she learned about intimacy and her own spirit.”—People​​ “A beautifully written instant classic. Strangers is gripping and heartbreaking and a must-read for every wife—and husband.”—Graydon Carter “Asks us to examine life’s most perplexing questions: Can we see the invisible fault lines in a marriage or truly know the people closest to us?”—Lori Gottlieb It was a great love story, one for the ages. The speed of our beginning and the speed of our ending felt like matching bookends. They both came out of nowhere. He wanted it, he wanted me. And then he didn’t. In March 2020, Belle Burden was safe and secure with her family at their house on Martha’s Vineyard, navigating the early days of the pandemic together—building fires in the late afternoons, drinking whisky sours, making roast chicken. Then, with no warning or explanation, her husband of twenty years announced that he was leaving her. Overnight, her caring, steady partner became a man she hardly recognized. He exited his life with her like an actor shrugging off a costume. In Strangers, Burden revisits her marriage, searching for clues that her husband was not who she always thought he was. As she examines her relationship through a new lens, she reckons with her own family history and the lessons she intuited about how a woman is expected to behave in the face of betrayal. Through all of it, she is transformed. The discreet, compliant woman she once was—someone nicknamed “Belle the Good”—gives way to someone braver, someone determined to use her voice. With unflinching honesty and profound grace, Burden charts a path through heartbreak to show the power of a woman who refuses to give up on love. Strangers is a stunning, deeply moving, compulsively readable memoir heralding the arrival of a thrilling new literary talent.

A Memoir of Marriage

thya

my worst nightmare in a book... i hope the worst of the worst for james

Greg Talbot

Some books just have to be written. Belle Burden's memoir of a marriage that dissovles after 20-years, during the global Covid-19 pandemic, feels like a book she never intended to write, or would would want to write, or would want to share with an audience, but the story couldn't be contained. On it's face it's a simple. This is a story about the aftermath of an affair, and the marriage that ended. Burden's writing is direct, raw, generous, constrained, and very heavy. Burden's story is not unique - but the heartbreak of a divorce that involves children, and profound distancing from her husband, creates a story that is earth shattering. Her story unfolds with the discovery of an affair, the emotional and economic fallout, the therpetuic self-questioning and the slow resolution toward a new self. This is a tough needle to thread. It is easy for these types of memoirs to push too heavily into treacly territory or too heavily into punishing scorched Earth territory. Burden maintains a sense of dignity and quiet strength, seeking comfort from friends and diving deeper into maternal responsibilites, in order to deal with the ordeal. Even when she is self-admonishing or diffident, I felt a profound sense of protectiveness for Burden - a sense that she was sharing vulnerabilities not for attention, but just to validate her life experience. There seemed to be little redeeming in her hotshot husband. Other than his excellent taste in music (Dinosaur Jr, Pavement, Luna), I found every mention of him nauseating. Some readers might find it unfair, but my honest assessment is that Burden should have waited on publishing this. You can find her voice in the work, but it feels as if these emotions and experiences are just too close to who she is right now. There are moments when she explores the person she could become, such as when she explores the subject of dating, or re-entering the work world, or even her morning writing rituals. The branches of thought she had about the reimagined family life, or evolving feelings toward her ex-husband made for some of the most interesting passages. Even the little things Burden point out - such as color patterns or reflections of family trauma introduced deeper insights into where this story could go, with some additional editing and revisions. In truth, I was struggling to connect to the central conflict of the affair and the divorce. I would never minimize the struggle Burden felt through the hardship, but as a a reader, I found the story to lack an intriguing plotline, and some of the creative flair shown elsewhere. Of course many readers will disagree, and find the raw emotional experience to be compelling. Overall a good story. I commend Belle Burden for not giving up on herself, and taking this story from a memoir zoom class into the literary rocketship it is today.

Madilyn Taylor

The 9th level of hell is reserved for her ex husband 🪽🪺

Sadie Hoffman

Strangers: The Story of a Marriage by Belle Burden is one of those memoirs that feels like being invited into the quiet, private aftermath of an explosion. It opens in March 2020, when Belle’s husband of twenty years calmly announces that he is leaving her and their three children—no big fight, no build‑up, just a clean break that shatters the life she thought they had built together.

What makes this book compelling is not just the betrayal, but the way Belle methodically tries to understand it. A stay-at-home lawyer‑mom, she goes back through the story of their marriage, asking where she lost her own voice, where she let “Belle the Good” take over, and how she missed the warning signs that he was already halfway out the door. The world around them—Manhattan apartments, Martha’s Vineyard summers, tennis, country clubs—adds another layer: this is a story told from inside immense privilege, but also inside a deeply familiar pattern of women shrinking themselves to keep the peace.

An excerpt of her story first appeared in the New York Times’ Modern Love column, and that moment—choosing to write publicly about her husband leaving—becomes its own act of rebellion. The response is intense: some readers embrace her honesty, while people in her real life whisper behind her back, wondering why she would “air dirty laundry” and risk her children’s future just to tell her side. That tension between protecting an image and telling the truth is the beating heart of the book.

What stayed with me is how Burden connects her story to the women who came before her. Her mother and grandmother also watched their marriages fall apart when their husbands left, but they swallowed their pain and stayed silent. Strangers is her refusal to do the same. It’s sad, yes—but it’s also quietly hopeful: a record of a woman realizing she is stronger than she thought, and that speaking up, however uncomfortable, is better than being erased. 

If you’re drawn to honest, clear‑eyed writing about marriage, betrayal, and the cost of breaking silence, this is a memoir worth picking up—and sitting with.

Erwin Lemuel Oliva

Strangers: The Story of a Marriage by Belle Burden is one of those memoirs that feels like being invited into the quiet, private aftermath of an explosion. It opens in March 2020, when Belle’s husband of twenty years calmly announces that he is leaving her and their three children—no big fight, no build‑up, just a clean break that shatters the life she thought they had built together.

What makes this book compelling is not just the betrayal, but the way Belle methodically tries to understand it. A stay-at-home lawyer‑mom, she goes back through the story of their marriage, asking where she lost her own voice, where she let “Belle the Good” take over, and how she missed the warning signs that he was already halfway out the door. The world around them—Manhattan apartments, Martha’s Vineyard summers, tennis, country clubs—adds another layer: this is a story told from inside immense privilege, but also inside a deeply familiar pattern of women shrinking themselves to keep the peace.

An excerpt of her story first appeared in the New York Times’ Modern Love column, and that moment—choosing to write publicly about her husband leaving—becomes its own act of rebellion. The response is intense: some readers embrace her honesty, while people in her real life whisper behind her back, wondering why she would “air dirty laundry” and risk her children’s future just to tell her side. That tension between protecting an image and telling the truth is the beating heart of the book.

What stayed with me is how Burden connects her story to the women who came before her. Her mother and grandmother also watched their marriages fall apart when their husbands left, but they swallowed their pain and stayed silent. Strangers is her refusal to do the same. It’s sad, yes—but it’s also quietly hopeful: a record of a woman realizing she is stronger than she thought, and that speaking up, however uncomfortable, is better than being erased. 

If you’re drawn to honest, clear‑eyed writing about marriage, betrayal, and the cost of breaking silence, this is a memoir worth picking up—and sitting with.

Sabrina Spada

I can't lie, I indulged myself with a hate read. I was initially intrigued by the splashy beginning but quickly realized how obnoxiously, absurdly wealthy the couple I was about to spend 250 pages with was. I was immediately turned off but unfortunately, 1 am incredibly nosey and I love watching a cheating man get a lashing. So I persisted.

What I was met with was a very formally-toned memoir about perhaps the most cliched divorced guy ever and his long suffering wife. Burden was enamored with a man who she describes as someone who left chewed nicotine gum in wrappers all over their enormous Manhattan apartment. A man who said "I don't do bath, bed, or homework", in regards to their three children. A man who was alarmingly strict about finances, until it came time to buy himself Rolexes and motorcycles.

All of this is set on the backdrop of country clubs, Martha's Vineyard, and luxurious Manhattan. With about half a dozen more glamorous vacations thrown in.

While Burden does acknowledge her immense privilege, it's still a tough pill to swallow as a reader.

Strangers was based on an article Burden wrote, and frankly, it should've stayed an article.

Grace M

I can't lie, I indulged myself with a hate read. I was initially intrigued by the splashy beginning but quickly realized how obnoxiously, absurdly wealthy the couple I was about to spend 250 pages with was. I was immediately turned off but unfortunately, 1 am incredibly nosey and I love watching a cheating man get a lashing. So I persisted.

What I was met with was a very formally-toned memoir about perhaps the most cliched divorced guy ever and his long suffering wife. Burden was enamored with a man who she describes as someone who left chewed nicotine gum in wrappers all over their enormous Manhattan apartment. A man who said "I don't do bath, bed, or homework", in regards to their three children. A man who was alarmingly strict about finances, until it came time to buy himself Rolexes and motorcycles.

How much more cliche can one man be??

All of this is set on the backdrop of country clubs, Martha's Vineyard, and luxurious Manhattan. With about half a dozen more glamorous vacations thrown in.

While Burden does acknowledge her immense privilege, it's still a tough pill to swallow as a reader.

Strangers was based on an article Burden wrote, and frankly, it should've stayed an article.

honestly did not expect to be as moved by this as i was, maybe just a result of the subconscious tradwife 'just a girl' 'too pretty to work' 'divine feminine energy' background noise that has been filtering through every algorithm. makes a story where someone who seemingly had it all have it kind of ripped out from under her and forced to come to terms with all the ways she allowed herself to give up agency in the name of love feel like yah!! kind of important!! in a way i will like never experience this life - i don't come from wealth, will probably not marry rich - and to me that's what makes memoirs interesting. to be given such a brief look into the intimate areas of another person's life, to have someone pretty humbly be like here are all the ways i failed myself, always feels a bit like a gift. usually on the side of thinking memoirs are quite difficult to get right, and i think this one does well. pacing is good, writing is honest without feeling cheapened, and the emotional tone is quite easy to decipher.  

Strangers The Story of a Marriage

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