Caleb Azumah Nelson

The highly anticipated new novel from the author of OPEN WATER - available for pre-order now 'A world can be two people, occupying a space where they don't have to explain. Where they can feel beautiful. Where they might feel free.' Praise for OPEN WATER: 'A tender and touching love story, beautifully told' Observer 10 Best Debut Novelists of 2021 'A beautiful and powerful novel about the true and sometimes painful depths of love' Candice Carty-Williams, bestselling author of QUEENIE 'An unforgettable debut... it's Sally Rooney meets Michaela Coel meets Teju Cole' New York Times 'A love song to Black art and thought' Yaa Gyasi, bestselling author of HOMEGOING and TRANSCENDENT KINGDOM 'An amazing debut novel. You should read this book. Let's hear it for Caleb Azumah Nelson, also known as the future' Benjamin Zephaniah 'A very touching and heartfelt book' Diana Evans, award-winning author of ORDINARY PEOPLE 'A lyrical modern love story, brilliant on music and art, race and London life, I enjoyed it hugely' David Nicholls, author of ONE DAY and SWEET SORROW 'Caleb is a star in the making' Nikesh Shukla, editor of THE GOOD IMMIGRANT and BROWN BABY 'A stunning piece of art' Bolu Babalola, bestselling author of LOVE IN COLOUR 'For those that are missing the tentative depiction of love in Normal People, Caleb Azumah Nelson's Open Water is set to become one of 2021's unmissable books. Utterly transporting, it'll leave you weeping and in awe.' Stylist 'An exhilarating new voice in British fiction' Vogue 'A poetic novel about Black identity and first love in the capital from one of Britain's most exciting young voices' Harper's Bazaar 'An intense, elegant debut' Guardian

Small Worlds

Lindsay

It’s here, when I’m with her, I know that a world can be two people, occupying a space where we don’t have to explain. Where we can feel beautiful. Where we might feel free.

I think of how the track I can hear playing was recorded in one take, and what faith this would’ve taken, what it might mean to fall forwards into the vastness of possibility. How it might feel like the fear I feel now, but what beauty might lie on the other side.

I want to build a place where there’s a sense of freedom which isn’t attached to anything else, that doesn’t come as part of a transaction.

‘Feel like I’m just floating. Like I’m in an ocean and just floating. I just want it to take me away, to take me somewhere. Tired of just . . . floating. Etomi, Stephen. Etomi.’ We both laugh, sadly, knowing in Ga this word means tired. But not the kind which sleep might solve, no; the translation is to be tired to the depths of your being.

To go back home is to wrangle with who you are against who everyone thinks you should be.

Her life is informed by loss but because she’s lost, she loves and loves freely, openly, with all she can.

‘Sometimes you just gotta do stuff for yourself. You can’t please everyone.’ He shakes his head again. ‘That’s my problem. That’s all our problems, all the men in our family. Why you think Pops is like he is. It’s like we’re all haunted by the same thing.’

‘We’re all scared. That we might offend someone, or we might do what we want to do, and it gets snatched away from us. And I hear it! The world’s a scary place. But fuck all that, Stephen.’ His eyes glitter in the sunshine, the sadness in his voice competing with the spark I see. ‘Don’t be scared of being honest, being yourself. Or you’ll end up like me.’

I’ll hide my desire away. I’ll hide away my solitude, how its enormity has turned it into something I don’t know how to wrangle with, something thick and heavy and suffocating. Rather than tell him of the loneliness, I’ll tell him it’s all OK, everything is OK.

Koby’s voice falters to a halt when he tries to say just what it means to love, tries to say everything in a few sentences, and the weight of it undoes him, like the way love might unspool our tightly wound selves, the way love might encourage looseness, might encourage us to be free, and since the one thing which might solve our problems is dancing, it only makes sense that here, long after Ife has reached a gentle hand to Koby’s face and they have spoken aloud what they already knew, long after we’ve had to wipe the tears streaking our faces for photos, long after confetti showers and restless children racing up and down a patch of concrete, one of them falling, a scrape of a knee, tears, a sharp word from his mother followed by a warm embrace, long after the food has been served, the buffet piled on to plates, me and Ray marvelling at the miracle of party jollof– It’s just better, bro, don’t ask me how– long after the speeches, during which Koby describes the day he met Ife, in those first few weeks of college when they were awkward and aimless, not knowing the days they were spending– long, gentle days full of laughter and arguments and closeness– were the days they might grow to know what love might be, where they might grow to feel beautiful, to feel free, Ife and Koby take to the floor for their first dance, D’Angelo’s ‘The Root’ moving them across the space.

Small Worlds quotes

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