Name: Deposing Nathan
ISBN: 9781624147357

Zack Smedley

Nate never imagined that he would be attacked by his best friend, Cam. Now, Nate is being called to deliver a sworn statement that will get Cam convicted. The problem is, the real story isn’t that easy or convenient—just like Nate and Cam’s friendship. Cam challenged Nate on every level from the day the boys met. He pushed him to break the rules, to dream, and to accept himself. But Nate—armed with a fierce moral code and conflicted by his own beliefs—started to push back. With each push, Nate and Cam moved closer to each other—but also spiraled closer to their breaking points.

Deposing Nathan

juliette

Natasha S

I'm gonna be honest, this was hard to read. It was emotional, heartwrenching, and painful. HOWEVER, there were parts that genuinely made me laugh out loud (Cam is super funny!). The ending definitely had me in tears. I just loved the LGTBQ+ representation in here and I overall enjoyed that this book made my heart go through some shit

This book was an incredibly tough read. Trigger warnings for internalized homophobia, homophobic violence, biphobia, infidelity, gaslighting, and child abuse. This book was emotionally brutal. Definitely take stock of your mental health before getting into it. This book was a gut punch, to be quite honest. 

So much about Nathan's relationship to Catholicism hit so achingly close to home. There were moments at the beginning of the book that reminded me of the comfort I found in Catholicism as a teenager, but the majority of the book really reminded me why I cannot be Catholic any more. Why I can't be Christian at all anymore. I respect the hell out of the fact that Nathan and Cam both are able to find an equilibrium between their bisexual identities and their Catholic identities and are able to find some peace in their religion. But I cannot fucking do it. Nathan's absolute anguish over his "sin" and his fear of hell should never exist for anyone. Exploring your identity should not include an existential crisis over what hell is and how overwhelmingly awful it will be for all eternity. I simply can't square the practice of Catholicism as I experienced it and as other people like Nathan experience it with my view of human rights and human decency and this book kind of punched me in the face with that. I really was not expecting it and it made this a tough book to read for me, even as I appreciate what it was doing.

I also really really appreciated the ending. (view spoiler)[I am so happy that Cam was able to recognize that his relationship with Nathan was bad and that they couldn't keep it up without continuing to tear each other apart. I'm so glad that the abuse the two of them inflicted on each other was acknowledged and that the fact that they loved each other or could love each other wasn't a good enough reason to stay in touch or try to maintain any kind of relationship - platonic or romantic or anything else - once Nathan moved away. Quite often love is not enough. Admitting that and doing what's best for yourself is hard but so absolutely essential. I'm so happy Cam was able to do that and Nathan was able to recognize and accept it as well, even when he really didn't want to.  (hide spoiler)]

Emir Andrés Ibañez

Nathan jamás imagino que Cam, su mejor amigo, lo atacaría de esa manera. Ahora está en sus manos decidir qué pasará. Su declaración puede mandarlo a la cárcel por años. Sin embargo, la verdadera historia aún no sale a la luz. Qué no se está diciendo? Cómo surgió su amistad y qué pasó después?
Hace mucho que no leía un libro entero en menos de 24hs. Hoy tuve un examen jodido y aún así logré hacerme un tiempo para leer entre clases.
Esta historia engancha no sólo por el misterio de la premisa, sino por los temas que se tocan. Y la forma sutil e impecable en que son abordados: identidad, crisis religiosa, bisexualidad, amigos. Familia.
Me enamoré de Cam y Nathan! 💚
Me llena el corazón saber que libros como éste están publicados y muchos adolescentes los tienen en sus manos.

Jessica Nottingham

I have only just read the last page of Deposing Nathan, and I am already writing this review. If you know anything about my reviewing style, you'll know that's a rare occurrence. However this book affected me so deeply, and I have so many things flying through my head, that I have to write them down. It's necessary. So if half of this review descends into a babbling, incoherent mess just know that's because those are my exact emotions at this point. This book was raw. It was beautiful. It was devastating. I'm an exhausted, emotional mess, and I'm not even upset about it.

The way that this book unabashedly explores so many moral quandaries that most YA generally tends to avoid, is what really hooked me in. From the beginning, this is a story that isn't afraid to talk about the big things. See, Nate was raised in a family that is very religious. His relationship with God is one in which he strongly believes that anything outside of what the church teaches will lead him on the wrong path. To his aunt and his father, Nate is a good boy. He attends church regularly, gets good grades, has the perfect girlfriend, and is pretty much your all around average teen. There isn't anything else he wants in his life. Until, that is, he meets Cam. 

As I watched these two meet for the first time, and their relationship started to evolve, I was helpless to look away. Smedley hasn't just created flat characters in Nate and Cam. Oh, no. These two are probably the most introspective teens that I have ever met in my life. They know that they have flaws. They acknowledge them, and mull through them, and fight all the battles inside that we've all been through at some point right there on the page. Some of Nate's thoughts, especially once he suspects that he might have actual feelings for Cam, are brutal. When his aunt reacts to his new feelings with anger, and eventually descends into physical violence to keep them apart, you'd be hard pressed not to want to gather this boy into your arms and hug him until it stops hurting. I cried, friends. I bawled. I'm not going to lie to you. There is nothing on these pages to stand between Nate and Cam's emotions, and yours. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way.

There are simply perfect moments in this book. Snapshots full of smiles and love. Snapshots of confusion and anger. It's like watching someone grow up right in front of you, with all the messiness that brings. Then, just when I thought that this book couldn't possibly impress me any further, the ending elegantly tackled the idea of toxic relationships in a way that made me start to sob all over again. We live in this book filled world of happy endings, and perfectly tied bows. Unfortunately, as we all well know, that's not normally how life works. The ending of this book was perfection, because it wraps things up in a way that feels realistic. The last few paragraphs of this book will get you, and you'll be thinking about them for hours afterwards. Trust me on this.

When I started this review, I was so concerned about being able to fairly portray to you how impressive and important this book is. I'm tearing up thinking about my journey, and how essential this book will be for so many people. Zack Smedley has written something special. This is a book about self acceptance, and self worth. It's a book about the relationship between strict religious upbringing and self discovery. It's a story about family, love, and growing up. This story is big, and brave, and brings such an important voice to the current YA space.

I'll leave you with a quote, because I don't know what else to say. Well, no actually, I'll end by saying that I recommend this book with every single last fiber of my being. Please, read this.

"If you think you have to earn enough points on someone's rubric for them to accept you, then either you're wrong to assume they won't love you for who you are, or they never loved you in the first place."

Deposing Nathan

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