Devon Price

'Reading this felt like being at home - I didn't realise how much I masked. What an incredible book that I know will be re-read many times over.' - Dr Camilla Pang, author of Explaining Humans 'Unmasking Autism is at once a most deeply personal and scholarly account of the damage caused by autistic (and all) people leading masked lives, and how unmasking is essential to creating a self-determined, authentic life... This is a remarkable work that will stand at the forefront of the neurodiversity movement' - Dr Barry M. Prizant, author of Uniquely Human Have you, a friend or family member been living with undiagnosed autism? For every visibly Autistic person you meet, there are countless 'masked' people who pass as neurotypical. They don't fit the stereotypical mould of Autism and are often forced by necessity to mask who they are, spending their entire lives trying to hide their Autistic traits. In particular, there is evidence that Autism remains significantly undiagnosed in women, people of colour, trans and gender non-conforming people, many of whom are only now starting to recognise those traits later in life. Blending cutting-edge research, personal insights and practical exercises for self-expression, Dr Devon Price examines the phenomenon of 'masking', making a passionate argument for radical authenticity and non-conformity. A powerful call for change, Unmasking Autism gifts its readers with the tools to uncover their true selves and build a new society - one where everyone can thrive on their own terms.

The Power of Embracing Our Hidden Neurodiversity

Unmasking Autism

Stephanie 

Many of these stealthily Autistic people fell back on their intellect or other talents to gain acceptance. Others became incredibly passive, because if they toned down their personalities, they wouldn't have to risk being too "intense." Beneath the inoffensive, professional veneers they had developed, their lives were falling apart.

Many of them suffered from self-harm, eating disorders, and alcoholism. They were trapped in abusive or unfulfilling relationships, with no clue how to feel seen and appreciated. Nearly all of them were depressed, haunted by a profound sense of emptiness. Their entire lives had been shaped by mistrust in themselves, hatred of their bodies, and fear of their desires.

Medical documentation does not make your experience any more real. Self-realized Autistics are not lesser members of the community.

For all these reasons, it's not always possible (or helpful) to try to untangle which of a person's traits are Autistic and which are caused by the trauma of being [neurodivergent] in a neurotypical world.

Ultimately, I can't tell you if you are Autistic, and I don't necessarily think it's something we have to discuss in a binary or categorical way. 

Autism is a spectrum, a rainbow of different shades and hues that thrive when they stand beautifully together.

“It’s like going to the grocery store, but only being able to bring home what you can sneak into your pockets when nobody is looking. And everybody else gets to just go through the checkout and buy as much as they want, so they don’t understand why you find shopping stressful.”

Masking makes Autistic people easier to “deal” with. It renders us compliant and quiet. It also traps us. Once you’ve proven yourself capable of suffering in silence, neurotypical people tend to expect you’ll be able to do it forever, no matter the cost.

This sounds harsh and ungrateful but you can’t choose what is overstimulating you and what does not. 

“This week I noticed my energy replenishment was at a standstill,” he says. “I couldn’t focus on data work, which is normally one of my passions. I journaled about it a bit and realized my girlfriend has been home more than usual lately. I love her, but being around her all day was overstimulating me.“

Many masked Autistic adults struggle to balance full-time work with social lives or hobbies at all because maintaining a conciliatory mask for eight hours per day is just too labor intense to have energy for anything else.

Up to the point where you pay more attention on trying to figure out when it’s your turn to speak in a conversation, you’re unable to listen and process the other part is telling you. 

A lot of us find the natural flow of conversation challenging, either interrupting people at the “wrong” times, or failing to jump in during a fast-paced exchange and being left out entirely.

Maskers tend to get very distressed when people are unhappy with us, because disapproval has been so dangerous and painful for us in the past. Many of us will do nearly anything to keep other people satisfied.

Unmasking Autism quotes

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