Name: Always the Almost
Rating: 3.785714285714286 (7 reviews)

Edward  Underhill

Always the Almost

Julia Rutgers

In the empty, half-lit auditorium, the strength of my whole body surges through my shoulders, down my skinny arms and bony wrists, through my hands, my fingertips, into the piano keys, until I'm nothing but a kinetic force making the massive instrument in front of me shudder

Edward Underhill

A trans planist makes a New Year's resolution on a frozen Wisconsin night to win regionals and win back his ex, but a new boy complicates things in this heartfelt debut YA rom-dram

Sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson has two New Year's resolutions:

1. Win back his ex-boyfriend (and star of the football team) Shane Mcintyre.

2. Finally beat his slimy arch-nemesis at the Mid-west's biggest classical piano competition.

But that's not going to be so easy. For one thing, Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans, and now Shane's stubbornly ignoring him, even when they literally bump into each other. Plus, Miles's new, slightly terrifying piano teacher keeps telling him that he's playing like he "doesn't know who he is" - whatever that means.

Then Miles meets the new boy in town, Eric Mendez, a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks his pronouns, cares about art as much as he does-and makes his stomach flutter. Not what he needs to be focusing on right now. But after Eric and Miles pretend to date so they can score an invite to a couples-only Valentine's Day party, the ruse turns real with a kiss, which is also definitely not in the plan. If only Miles could figure out why Eric likes him so much. After all, it's not like he's cool or confident or comfortable in his own skin. He's not even good enough at piano to get his fellow competitors to respect him... especially now, as Miles. Nothing's ever been as easy for him as for other people -other boys. He's only ever been almost enough.

So why, when he's with Eric, does it feel like the only person he's ever really not been enough for.... is himself?

Ellie M.

CWs: Transphobia, Body Dysmorphia, Racism, Misgendering, Cheating, and Cyber Bullying 

This YA queer rom-com book takes us through the story of Miles Jacobson, a trans boy who is also a pianist as he navigates growing into his self-identity and winning regionals. It has great rep about trans mcs and also traverses through their experiences. The writing was strong as it navigated through each of the characters’ experience as queer individuals in the world. I expected a really endearing and adorable gay story but it started to go downhill due to all the emotional cheating going on. Friendship drama side, it’s NOT cute and I will NOT EVER tolerate infidelity no matter how much justification can be said. I personally don’t recommend this book.

*3.5 stars* Always the Almost was an easy and quick read. I was really surprised at how quickly I fell in love with this book, but unfortunately after being halfway through it lost some of my interest.

Focusing on the good parts of the story (for now), Miles was an easy character to love. His feelings about his identity were realistic. Overall, that’s what this story was about. The side characters and the love interest were great and I really wish that we were given more background at the beginning of the story about them. We don’t really get to know these characters until nearing the end of the book. Eric was my favorite and he deserves the world. The piano competitions were great and really interesting to read about!

Now onto the worst. The cheating. I feel as though this story would’ve been fine without this part. I also hate how the characters tried to justify what they were doing. It just felt unnecessary to add.

Thank you Netgalley and publisher for the ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

thank you to st. martin’s press, wednesday books, and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

wow. i just know this story will resonate with other trans and nonbinary readers in the same ways it has for me. with its messy characters, whom you still love despite it. with miles’ passion for piano, which emanates off the pages. with beautiful, but raw and realistic, teen trans-masc representation. all of it comes together to bring this beautiful little thing.

while i personally did not enjoy the two (2) piano lessons that i took as a child (no, we don’t count the middle school music class i took one semester), miles’ pure passion for his playing urged to find our hidden-away keyboard and just play. play what? who knows. and that’s what i really think shines through. while i can’t directly appreciate miles’ love for playing and classical music, i deeply understand his love and drive to be the best at something you love. putting your absolute whole-being into your discipline. (that was me with swimming for many years). i just love to read about someone passionate about something, niche or not. and this delivered in that aspect.

while a big focus was his piano playing, of course the rest of it was mainly about relationships, queerness, and what that means in high-school. and while, yes, like i mentioned, these characters are 

. it just made them feel like real teens i know and most probably used to be myself. it makes them feel real. they’re not perfect. they’re going to fuck it up sometimes. but they love and care about the people close to them and they just have to learn how to find ways to communicate their desires or concerns or whatnot. and these characters, they do… well, eventually.

do i personally wish there wasn’t any justification of cheating? absolutely. but it’s been done and it’s unfortunately how the events went down. but like i said, i’m glad these characters learn to move past it in their own ways, communicating their underlying causes. so, i’ll that take. and on an overall sense, it’s more acknowledgement than i see in most cis-hetero stories so… a win is a win.

anyways, that’s pretty much all i have to say about this lovely little story for now. oh, except, i love stefania and i want her to adopt me (i am rachel, she is me). okay, that’s all!

ash (smokedshelves)

thank you to st. martin’s press, wednesday books, and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

wow. i just know this story will resonate with other trans and nonbinary readers in the same ways it has for me. with its messy characters, whom you still love despite it. with miles’ passion for piano, which emanates off the pages. with beautiful, but raw and realistic, teen trans-masc representation. all of it comes together to bring this beautiful little thing.

while i personally did not enjoy the two (2) piano lessons that i took as a child (no, we don’t count the middle school music class i took one semester), miles’ pure passion for his playing urged to find our hidden-away keyboard and just play. play what? who knows. and that’s what i really think shines through. while i can’t directly appreciate miles’ love for playing and classical music, i deeply understand his love and drive to be the best at something you love. putting your absolute whole-being into your discipline. (that was me with swimming for many years). i just love to read about someone passionate about something, niche or not. and this delivered in that aspect.

while a big focus was his piano playing, of course the rest of it was mainly about relationships, queerness, and what that means in high-school. and while, yes, like i mentioned, these characters are messy . it just made them feel like real teens i know and most probably used to be myself. it makes them feel real. they’re not perfect. they’re going to fuck it up sometimes. but they love and care about the people close to them and they just have to learn how to find ways to communicate their desires or concerns or whatnot. and these characters, they do… well, eventually.

do i personally wish there wasn’t any justification of cheating? absolutely. but it’s been done and it’s unfortunately how the events went down. but like i said, i’m glad these characters learn to move past it in their own ways, communicating their underlying causes. so, i’ll that take. and on an overall sense, it’s more acknowledgement than i see in most cis-hetero stories so… a win is a win.

anyways, that’s pretty much all i have to say about this lovely little story for now. oh, except, i love stefania and i want her to adopt me (i am rachel, she is me). okay, that’s all!

Always the Almost

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