Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of “high sensitivity” in children–and offers a breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers. With the publication of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron became the first person to identify the inborn trait of “high sensitivity” and to show how it affects the lives of those who possess it. Up to 20 percent of the population is born highly sensitive, and now in The Highly Sensitive Child, Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who share the same characteristics as highly sensitive adults and thus face unique challenges as they grow up. Rooted in Aron’s years of experience as a psychotherapist and her original research on child temperament, The Highly Sensitive Child shows how HSCs are born deeply reflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed. These qualities can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, or begin acting out. Few parents and teachers understand where this behavior comes from–and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or “fussy,”or classified as “problem children” (and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder). But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to these problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. In this pioneering work, parents will find helpful self-tests and case studies to help them understand their HSC, along with thorough advice on: • The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child • The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC • How to soothe highly sensitive infants • Helping sensitive children survive in a not-so-sensitive world • Making school and friendships enjoyable With chapters addressing the needs of specific age groups, from newborns through teens, The Highly Sensitive Child delivers warmhearted, timely information for parents, teachers, and the sensitive children in their lives.

Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

The Highly Sensitive Child

Sarah White

As you reparent your body, the first thing to realize is that the more it avoids stimulation, the more arousing the remaining stimulation becomes. 

The way to come to tolerate and then enjoy being involve in the world is by being in the world. 

nanafark

«For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour.... To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a chess champion, “Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?” There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game.... One should not search for an abstract meaning of life.»

Emma Hak-Kovacs

These two factors- liking certain things about the other and finding out the other person likes you-give me an image of a world admiring each other, someone else to confess their love. This image is important for HSPs to keep in mind because one of the most arousing moments in one's life is either confessing or receiving a declaration of affection. But if we want to be close to someone, we must do it! We must endure all the risks of getting closer and being close, including speaking up.

Ask yourself if the sun rises in the east. Then see how you feel about your “wrong" answer. Because, of course, you are wrong. The sun does not rise. The earth turns. So much for personal experience. We cannot trust it, or so it seems. We can only trust science. Science has triumphed as the Best Way to Know Anything. But science is simply not designed to answer the big spiritual, philosophical, and moral questions. So we almost behave as if they must not be important. But they are. They are always being answered, implicitly, by a society’s values and behaviours — whom it respects, whom it loves, whom it fears, whom it leaves to languish unhoused and unfed.

Taryn

In other words, sensitivity, or responsivity as these biologists also called it, involves paying more attention to details than others do, then using that knowledge to make better predictions in the future. Sometimes you are better of doing so, other times it is a hard waste of energy. 

Further, when a past experience was very bad, an HSP can overgeneralize and avoid or feel anxious in too many situations, just because the new ones resemble in some small way the past bad one. The biggest cost to us of being highly sensitive, however, is that our nervous systems can become overloaded. Everyone has a limit as to how much information or stimulation can be taken in before one becomes overloaded, overstimulated, overaroused, overwhelmed, and just over! We simply reach that point sooner than others. Fortunately, as soon as we get some downtime we recover nicely. 

The way to come to tolerate and then enjoy being involved in the world is by being in the world. 

Our culture has an idea of competition in the pursuit of excellence that can make anyone not striving for the top feel like a worthless, non- productive bystander. This applies not only to one's career but even to one's leisure. Are you fit enough, are you progressing in your hobby, are you competent as a cook or gardener? And family life - is your marriage intimate enough, your sexual life optimal, have you done all that you can do to raise excellent children?

Perhaps imaginary figures, characters in books, or nature itself calmed and supported you enough; your trait may have made you happier than other children with this solitude. 

The Highly Sensitive Child quotes

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