Leila Aboulela

Elsewhere, Home

Marion

I wish that you and Hamdy had stayed in Egypt, Salwa hands me a tissue. She pours me a glass of tea. By going away you have become more old-fashioned. Things here are not as conventional and innocent as in our youth.

Parents no longer control their children or even know what they are up to! Lateefa habibti, you are lagging behind. Ir is as if, by being away, time stood still for you!

They can forgive you for your ugly colour, your thick lips and rough hair, but you must think modern thoughts, be like them on the inside if you can't be from the outside.

And what stuck in my mind after the stinging ebbed away, after the apologetic caresses, what clung to me and burned me time and time again were his comments about how I looked. I would stand in front of the mirror and, Allah forgive me, hate my face.

It seemed the fate of our generation is separation, from our country or our family, we are ready to go anywhere in search of the work we can not find at home.

Eat, walk, shop, carry plastic bags, run and hop on to a bus. The truth is in the movement itself. Disappointment is embedded in every step. Because every beat takes us closer to the end. The world spins and there is hope. It is as if we are scooped up by a Ferris wheel that lifts us up, way up, in a circle, round, down and up.

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