Emma Lord

Begin Again

Sarah Campbell

See, when you have the "dead mom" card in your playing deck everything in your world is just a little bit tilted sideways. The kids you were close to growing up suddenly hesitate to talk about their own moms in front of you, or even the rest of their problems, like they're worried to bother you with them when they think it doesn't compare to yours. The adults in your small town are extra nice to you, sneaking you gumballs at the grocery store checkout line, showing up in full force whenever you host a car wash fundraiser. And eventually you get a little older and look around and realize that there's a mark on you that's followed you around, some shadow that's colored everything that's happened to you since. Marked you as an "other" with your friends, so you can never quite relate to them the same way you did. Given you little boosts with everyone else, like they could ever make up for the worst thing that ever happened to vou

I am taken back to how familiar he seemed when we first met. Maybe it wasn’t just that I knew his voice. There’s a specific kind of grief that comes with losing someone you love, the kind that is always skimming just under the surface; the kind so universal that you can’t help recognizing it in someone else, even if you don’t know what you’re seeing yet. 

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