Emmy Sanders

10 Ways To Accidentally Fall

I knew the book was doomed when the first page had the character saying "gym-bro" twice only to follow it up on the second page with "total gym-dude". To be fair the author warned us that watersports would be used 11 times in the book so maybe I should've known even then.

The mc had frosted-tips-vibes and to top it off, his name was Brad. And 

 loooves a good "bro" or a "sweet brorelationship" as he so eloquently put it. So... do with that information what you will.

The bunch of animal names like cat-man, birdie, bee and kangaroo that were dropped on the first two pages was also a warning sign that, to the detriment of everyone in my gene-pool, went ignored because I'm a sucker for mxm romance and the snippet I saw kept me hoping it would turn out good anyways.

Honestly, I don't even know what I expected going in. I thought maybe it would be a sports romance from the way it looked in said regretful snippet but turns out the guy is just obssessed with being in the gym. I guess it's hard to find a second personality trait other than bro-ing in the gym when his job is shooting stuff on his computer all day long. The fact he just loves the gym for the sake of exercising would be admirable and maybe even cute in a funny and endearing way if he weren't able to talk. At all. And boy did he talk. Pretty sure you could seal his lips shut permanently and the guy only needs one day to learn to talk through his asshole.

The cover of the book was yet another warning I ignored when I opened the book and brought shame on my family. I can't even fault anyone since it was my own naive thinking a mxm book would automatically mean it can't be that bad. My eyes bleeding taught me a lesson I desperately needed to learn.

The glorious concoction of devolution and tomfoolery produced a word count for the phrase "gym bro" of a whopping fourteen which felt like four hundred and an even more impressive one for "bro" which was used 120 times. It was remarkable to be quite frank. It taught me to never give up. If this author can fit 120 - I simply cannot stress this number enough but ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY - bros into her 320 pages book - which seems to be her life goal at this point - than anyone can do it!!

Now, if you're thinking "I hope there were more cringy words used that make me want to gauge my eyes out" you are in luck!! "Bub" - using that abomination should land the author on a watch list actually - had the fortune of being in the book 92 times and "dude" took the spotlight with 138 mentions.

The fact that the other guy worked in construction and 

 was hot for the tool belt just gave it cheap-porno-idea-vibes to really complete the impression of complete horror in my mind.

 was to the value this book held but it was painfully obvious it would leave me broke by the end of it.

 was living in Las Vegas of all places but walking down those streets you can see it fits him like a glove. I'm also convinced the author herself had no other reason for shipping them off to Las Vegas than the fact that it allowed her to use "Las Vegans" as a joke thrice. Which was four times too many.

 and being a little obssessed with him was as adorable as it was questionable and uncomfortable to read. The guy was like a french bulldog in heat rubbing himself on every carpet and leaving a brown tail of radioactive waste behind. He should stop assuming someone wants sex just because they dropped a towel in a locker room which happens more often than he thinks. Then again, he was horny from the start so he just needed a win and to get laid. Or be castrated.

The cropped tank tops and jocks all the time were a crime against humanity but nothing compared to the evil that slowly spread every time a fanny pack was mentioned.

I'm not sure of anything about the author's intentions but I think she wanted Brad to be a golden retriever. The end result reminded more of a cocaine addicted chihuahua that got electrified twice too many times and now barks with a swedish accent. It's a mircale in and of itself which begs you to put your life on hold and just stare at the thing for a minute only to regret ever laying eyes on it when you find out every second cost you more braincells than Brad using the word "bro".

I want to finish my 100% accurate iteration of this book by saying that not only was 

 an actual Brad but his stunning full name was Brad Ulysses Bradley. Aka BUB for short. The fact that this name and character exists is proof enough that there is no God and afterlife. Not even Lucifer himself would've dreamt up a book like this for human kind has already suffered enough.

Sophia

I knew the book was doomed when the first page had the character saying "gym-bro" twice only to follow it up on the second page with "total gym-dude". To be fair the author warned us that watersports would be used 11 times in the book so maybe I should've known even then.

The mc had frosted-tips-vibes and to top it off, his name was Brad. And Brad loooves a good "bro" or a "sweet brorelationship" as he so eloquently put it. So... do with that information what you will.

The bunch of animal names like cat-man, birdie, bee and kangaroo that were dropped on the first two pages was also a warning sign that, to the detriment of everyone in my gene-pool, went ignored because I'm a sucker for mxm romance and the snippet I saw kept me hoping it would turn out good anyways.

Honestly, I don't even know what I expected going in. I thought maybe it would be a sports romance from the way it looked in said regretful snippet but turns out the guy is just obssessed with being in the gym. I guess it's hard to find a second personality trait other than bro-ing in the gym when his job is shooting stuff on his computer all day long. The fact he just loves the gym for the sake of exercising would be admirable and maybe even cute in a funny and endearing way if he weren't able to talk. At all. And boy did he talk. Pretty sure you could seal his lips shut permanently and the guy only needs one day to learn to talk through his asshole.

The cover of the book was yet another warning I ignored when I opened the book and brought shame on my family. I can't even fault anyone since it was my own naive thinking a mxm book would automatically mean it can't be that bad. My eyes bleeding taught me a lesson I desperately needed to learn.

The glorious concoction of devolution and tomfoolery produced a word count for the phrase "gym bro" of a whopping fourteen which felt like four hundred and an even more impressive one for "bro" which was used 120 times. It was remarkable to be quite frank. It taught me to never give up. If this author can fit 120 - I simply cannot stress this number enough but ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY - bros into her 320 pages book - which seems to be her life goal at this point - than anyone can do it!!

Now, if you're thinking "I hope there were more cringy words used that make me want to gauge my eyes out" you are in luck!! "Bub" - using that abomination should land the author on a watch list actually - had the fortune of being in the book 92 times and "dude" took the spotlight with 138 mentions.

The fact that the other guy worked in construction and Brad was hot for the tool belt just gave it cheap-porno-idea-vibes to really complete the impression of complete horror in my mind.

I wish I could be as naive as Brad was to the value this book held but it was painfully obvious it would leave me broke by the end of it.

I have zero clue why Brad was living in Las Vegas of all places but walking down those streets you can see it fits him like a glove. I'm also convinced the author herself had no other reason for shipping them off to Las Vegas than the fact that it allowed her to use "Las Vegans" as a joke thrice. Which was four times too many.

Joey not clocking that Brad was just a bro and being a little obssessed with him was as adorable as it was questionable and uncomfortable to read. The guy was like a french bulldog in heat rubbing himself on every carpet and leaving a brown tail of radioactive waste behind. He should stop assuming someone wants sex just because they dropped a towel in a locker room which happens more often than he thinks. Then again, he was horny from the start so he just needed a win and to get laid. Or be castrated.

The cropped tank tops and jocks all the time were a crime against humanity but nothing compared to the evil that slowly spread every time a fanny pack was mentioned.

I'm not sure of anything about the author's intentions but I think she wanted Brad to be a golden retriever. The end result reminded more of a cocaine addicted chihuahua that got electrified twice too many times and now barks with a swedish accent. It's a mircale in and of itself which begs you to put your life on hold and just stare at the thing for a minute only to regret ever laying eyes on it when you find out every second cost you more braincells than Brad using the word "bro".

I want to finish my 100% accurate iteration of this book by saying that not only was Brad an actual Brad but his stunning full name was Brad Ulysses Bradley. Aka BUB for short. The fact that this name and character exists is proof enough that there is no God and afterlife. Not even Lucifer himself would've dreamt up a book like this for human kind has already suffered enough.

10 Ways To Accidentally Fall

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