Emmy Sanders

To Catch a Firefly

aleksandra

3.5/5

Do you want an intense, passionate declaration of love in the rain? Read this book. Do you want childhood best friends to lovers with the most beautiful friendship? Read this book. Do you want years of pining that will frustrate you in the best way? Read this book. Do you want characters with the best and most supportive families? Read this book.

This is the story of two best friends, or rather soul mates, who were everything to each other and who, after years of pining, finally got the love they deserved together. A story about Ellis and Lucky. Lucky, our sunny character who was passionate about photography and wanted to see the world, despite also wanting to stay in his small town for his best friend, and Ellis, our second neurodivergent character with selective mutism, who was the sweetest small town farmer with an artistic talent for creating beautiful things out of glass whose best friends was the only person he could imagine his life with. The former was afraid that he would lose their friendship if he confessed his feelings, the latter didn't want to trap him in their small town when he knew about his dreams of traveling the world. They were best friends who always felt something for each other, but only after years of growing up together and discovering the truth about their feelings, they found what they wanted most - a life together in the love they both longed for. Their journey to get there is just so beautiful, intense, and at times frustrating, but trust me, it's worth the wait. 

This book made me feel so many emotions, mostly good ones. I laughed, I cried, I wanted to get inside the book and hug our main characters. Their love was so tender, deep and simply beautiful that you are sure that they will stay together until their last days, because being apart is like losing half of yourself.


  
    "Promise we’ll still do this when we’re sixty or eighty or a hundred. I want a lifetime with you, El. Me and you. ’Til the end of time.”
I draw an X over Lucky’s heart. Promise."

"And every time I stayed away a little longer, it felt like I was losing my breath. Like I had less oxygen in my lungs. I was starved of it without you, El. You don’t make me feel trapped, okay? Never. You’re the air I breathe.”
  


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While reading, you could literally feel the love they had for each other. I'm a huge fan of friends to lovers romance books because I will always believe that your partner should also be your best friend and that's exactly what Lucky and Ellis were, that's probably why I loved them, their relationship and connection so much. Their grand gestures, El's emails, the way they understood each other perfectly, even without words, their constant phone calls, how understanding they were of each other, the firefly nickname, how their families were close and would do anything for them, their wedding, the prom scene, how they were childhood friends who were always together. I just wanted to cry and cry and cry at how beautiful and perfect they were together, even though they were almost complete opposites.


So far I've only praised and praised this book, but I still haven't rated it five stars, so what exactly were my problems here? Some spoilers start here!

The first thing, or rather a person, is Lucky's friend/ longtime sex buddy/ coworker, Danil. I know he and Lucky worked together, but I personally didn't like that it didn't change in the end. I think I would go crazy if the love of my life worked with his former sex buddy, with whom he was intimate for over a year and with whom he travels around the world. I'd probably die of jealousy, but maybe that's just me, because I understand that Lucky and Ellis might trusted each other enough to not let it bother them. I also wanted to go into the book and punch Danil in the face for having that weird confession at our main characters wedding that he loves Lucky and “I think if I ever could have felt more for someone, it would have been you.”. I know it wasn't exactly a romantic declaration of love as it turned out, but did he really have to have this type of confession at their wedding? I don't know why, but it irritated me a little, it was not his day for confessions. 

The second thing that probably won't be a problem for everyone is that Lucky had a wild sex life (I'm talking about almost described - but fortunately not - threesomes and hookups with Danil in various places) when he went to college and later to work, while Ellis remained a virgin - a virgin who didn't even watch porn. Again, maybe it's just me who has too high expectations for the heroes, after reading about some who remained virgins their whole lives for their love interest, even if they weren't sure if they would be with them. I guess I thought he would still experience, but less when he loved Ellis so much and maybe he wouldn't be able to sleep with so many people when all he could think about was El. I know Lucky had every right to be sexually active because he thought Ellis was straight and not interested in him romantically, but after he kept saying how much he meant to him, how he was everything to him, etc., it left me with this unpleasant bitter taste in my mouth when, for example, after hooking up with Danil, he went to talk to Ellis for hours. So, it’s on me and my high expectations, and it definitely won’t be a problem for everyone. Also, when Lucky said to Ellis that he is his, and "I don’t want you to be with anyone else,”, I was like "You should be saying that to yourself, not to him.". Thankfully, when they confessed their love for each other, Lucky stopped sleeping around. 

The last, rather small thing is that when they finally confessed their feelings to each other, the book seemed to focus on them having sex, that at one point there was just sex scene after sex scene. These scenes were extremely hot and full of passion, because the main characters loved each other and that's when sex is the best, but I wanted them to happen a little later, not that Ellie's first orgasm was already a moment after their love confession. I guess the author wanted to show how starved they were for each other after years of wanting and pining, so like I said, it was just a minor issue for me. And finally, it was mentioned that they could switched, but I don't remember that happening. Why suggest some sexual activity or change in character dynamics and then not show it? I felt robbed. 


I could probably write and write about this book, because there are a few more things in it that I liked and I didn't write about them at the beginning, but I'll end my review here, because it's best to discover them yourself while reading it. Anyway, I think I can recommend it, because despite a few things that bothered me, it was still a strong three stars book.

To Catch a Firefly

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