Guadalupe Nettel

Rosalind Harvey

Still Born, Guadalupe Nettel's fourth novel, treats one of the most consequential decisions of early adulthood – whether or not to have children – with the intelligence and originality that have won her international acclaim. Alina and Laura are independent and career-driven women in their mid-thirties, neither of whom have built their future around the prospect of a family. Laura has taken the drastic decision to be sterilized, but as time goes by Alina becomes drawn to the idea of becoming a mother. When Alina’s daughter survives childbirth – after a diagnosis that predicted the opposite – and Laura becomes attached to her neighbour’s son, both women are forced to reckon with the complexity of their emotions. 

In prose that is as gripping as it is insightful, Guadalupe Nettel explores maternal ambivalence with a surgeon’s touch, carefully dissecting the contradictions that make up the lived experiences of women. 

Still Born

Marion

Then I thought that love is frequently illogical, incomprehensible. Many of us do the same when we fall in love with someone who is very ill, or who lives far away, or with someone involved in another love story that has no room for us. Who has not plunged headlong into an irreconcilable love affair knowing it has no future, and clinging to a glimmer of hope as flimsy as a blade of grass?

Pourquoi durer est-il mieux que brûler? wondered Roland Barthes, sceptically. Love and common sense are not always compatible. In general, one tends to choose intensity no matter how little time it lasts, and in spite of all that it puts at risk.

We daughters have a tendency to see in our mother's mistakes the source of all our problems, and our mothers tend to consider our defects as proof of a possible failure. 

There is a word to describe someone who loses their spouse, and a word for children who are left without parents. There is no word, however, for a parent who loses their child. Unlike previous centuries in which child mortality was very high, it's not normal for this to occur in our time. It is something so feared, so unacceptable, that we have chosen not to name it.

 Distance is unerring proof of friendship. Occasionally it lays waste to it, as a frost can do to a good harvest. But this wasn't what happened between Alina and me. We continued to write and to call each other often, informing one another of the most noteworthy episodes in our lives - the appearance of Aurelio in hers, her father's ill health, my choice of thesis topic

- and so the affection we already had for one another was steadily reinforced.

This is a book I found via dua lipa YouTube channel, I listened to the conversation she had with the author and was very intrigued, a book about women in their 30s and the ambivalence of choosing motherhood. In my 30s conversations around motherhood have become more common but mostly the child-free choice. I found this book particularly intriguing because it’s about what happens to those female friendships when our choices diverge. One character in this book gets sterilized and the other changes her mind that leads to some friends distancing themselves.

The childfree choice is quite a radical one especially when patriarchal societies that claim that’s our main role in society however it hurts to hear when that choice is fueled by the fears of loss of community. Women need a village to raise their children but at the most vulnerable time that they need support that community disappears and is only possible through hired help. This is also because of the demands of capitalist society however I've been seeing a lot of videos online of women losing all their friends after marriage and worse after they become mothers. What Guadalupe Nettel does with this book is show how we can continue to be there for each other even when our life choices diverge. This is a brilliant book that does not judge women for their choices it is a book about friendship, motherhood that is becoming mothers or not becoming mothers, and relationships with our mothers and children who are far too good for this world. 

https://youtu.be/Xj5tcsVL704?si=U6uwNBkYyTks2DvD

This is a book I found via dua lipa YouTube channel, I listened to the conversation she had with the author and was very intrigued, a book about women in their 30s and the ambivalence of choosing motherhood. In my 30s conversations around motherhood have become more common but mostly the child-free choice. I found this book particularly intriguing because it’s about what happens to those female friendships when our choices diverge. One character in this book gets sterilized and the other changes her mind that leads to some friends distancing themselves.

The childfree choice is quite a radical one especially when patriarchal societies that claim that’s our main role in society however it hurts to hear when that choice is fueled by the fears of loss of community. Women need a village to raise their children but at the most vulnerable time that they need support that community disappears and is only possible through hired help. This is also because of the demands of capitalist society however I've been seeing a lot of videos online of women losing all their friends after marriage and worse after they become mothers. What Guadalupe Nettel does with this book is show how we can continue to be there for each other even when our life choices diverge. This is a brilliant book that does not judge women for their choices it is a book about friendship, motherhood that is becoming mothers or not becoming mothers, and relationships with our mothers and children who are far too good for this world. 

I really cried a few times reading this.

Dua Lipa conversation with Guadalupe: https://youtu.be/Xj5tcsVL704?si=U6uwNBkYyTks2DvD

lovely exploration of womanhood. been thinking about it a lot since finishing which is always a good sign. 

Nina

heartwarming. tapi agak kaget mendekati ending tiba-tiba laura having sex with doris???? open ending? 

but somehow it feels like its telling, everything is going to be okay and truly, whatever has to happen will happen.

heartwarming. tapi agak kaget mendekati ending tiba-tiba laura having sex with doris???? open ending? 

but somehow it feels like its telling, everything is going to be okay and truly, whatever has to happen will happen.

Still Born, Guadalupe Nettel's fourth novel, treats one of the most consequential decisions of early adulthood - whether or not to have children - with the intelligence and originality that have won her international acclaim. Alina and Laura are independent and career-driven women in their mid-thirties, neither of whom have built their future around the prospect of a family. Laura has taken the drastic decision to be sterilized, but as time goes by Alina becomes drawn to the idea of becoming a mother. When complications arise in Alina's pregnancy and Laura becomes attached to her neighbour's son, both women are forced to reckon with the complexity of their emotions. In prose that is as gripping as it is insightful, Guadalupe Nettel explores maternal ambivalence with a surgeon's touch, carefully dissecting the contradictions that make up the lived experiences of women.

Still Born

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