Hanna Jameson

At a New York City wedding, in early summer, four people are trying to get their lives started. Yun has everything he ever wanted, but somehow it's never enough. Emory is finally making her mark, but feels the shame more than the success. Andrew just wants to be honest, but has lied to himself his whole life. Fin can't resist falling in love, but can't help wrecking it all either. That night they see something none of them can explain. Someone sits down, and simply gives up. Soon it's happening all around them. Is it an illness, or a decision? How can anyone really be happy when the only choice is to feel everything - or nothing at all?

The Newest Novel from the Bestselling Author of the Last. for Fans of Emily John St. Mandel, Sally Rooney and Patricia Lockwood

Are You Happy Now

Ellie 

‘Whatever this was, this had never made it into daylight. He wondered if a love not properly expressed mutated into something jagged and unwieldy like metal, something that could kill you.‘

‘You both act like you’re here to fight the whole world.’

‘People don’t change. Everything gets harder and no one fucking changes.‘ 

‘I just think the song . . . the vocals, that line. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.’

‘At the end there’s this line, repeated over and over until it fades out. It translates to “Time passes”, basically. You could hear the song as being about a break-up, losing someone, whatever. But the sadness of the final line is about the generality of it all. Time passes. It’s not about losing one person, it’s about how eventually everyone loses everything. And when you listen to it, the repetition of that line fades out before the song ends. The song ends on its own time, but that final line disappears first. That’s how life works. Time passes, everything fades out, the song carries on without you.’

‘Sleep was the only time he was able to put anything down, drop the weight he was carrying. He was living for being unconscious in a way he never had before.‘

‘Every minute of the day he would catch sight of himself, as if through the eyes of someone else, and ask himself how he was always somewhere other than where he felt he was meant to be.‘

‘So many people forget how young Albrecht is, characterize him as an adult. But when you’re young and naive, and love feels so new, you don’t think about consequences, can’t fathom that people die, or that some things you do can’t be undone, or that one day everyone you love won’t be there any more. He doesn’t disguise himself to seduce anyone, he hides his identity to enjoy a moment of freedom. And he’s terrified when Giselle dies because of him, for the sake of a romantic daydream he had about being someone else. Because he did love her, and if he didn’t he wouldn’t have gone to her grave. Why would he have gone back if he didn’t really love her? He goes back because he can’t live with himself. They’re both just kids, who end up dealing with these huge, permanent issues of life and death too young, and neither of them are ready for it or equipped to deal with it. Maybe when Giselle chooses to let him live, he wishes she had killed him instead. That he has to carry on isn’t a reward, having to live isn’t mercy . . .’

‘The thing about trying to be friends with everybody is it doesn’t fucking mean anything.’

‘Yun could no longer work out if he was having a good time or not, but it was refreshing to speak freely.‘

“‘What life is a baby going to have now? I mean, people are giving up, just sitting down in the street and giving up.’ She spread her hands. ‘A baby is a person. I have to think about what their life is going to be like, and I can’t see any way it’s going to be good.’”

‘“Maybe there is something to be said for the fantasy,’ Andrew said, after a sip of brandy. ‘Deep down, people know just how unlikely their happiness is. The only thing we can at least be honest about is we want things to work out, and that’s what these stories are really about. It’s not about the lie, it’s about the fact there is value in wanting to be happy.’“

‘“What would be the point if stories were only limited to truth?’ Andrew said, sounding amused. ‘There would be no art.’”

‘he had always believed – if you stripped away the illusion of easy-flowing beauty, the insidious narcotic-thick bliss designed to cloud your better judgement – love was about blood and gore, and what you were willing to rip out or cut off.‘

‘Childhood sweethearts, as a concept, had never made sense to him. How did two people stay together during years where surely they should have changed, shed their childish former selves? He found it hard to believe it was possible without both parties deluding themselves, or deluding the other. Either way, someone pretending to be something they weren’t.‘

‘But sometimes it does feel personal somehow, the way nothing ever gets better. Like I wonder, am I here to just watch everything get stranger and worse? And it makes me so fucking angry.’ He swallowed, turning again to rest his forearms on the fence, eyes on the backs of his hands, flexing and unflexing. ‘But I’m not angry about the right things, I don’t give a shit about any of those people. I know it sounds bad but I really don’t. I’m angry that I was doing kinda okay for myself, I felt like things were coming together with my music and everything, and then the world fucks it up for me again.’

‘he would smile as if to say, I am not getting tired of you, and Fin would almost – not quite, but almost –  believe it.’

‘It’s not always rational, what we want from people.’

‘sometimes things you find beautiful are only meant to be appreciated from a distance.’

‘It’s also difficult to explain, but it conveys an emotion which is something like homesickness, nostalgia and regret all rolled into one. It’s a longing for home, but it’s a home that’s not specified or definite. It’s not a physical place, not a home you can really return to.’

‘I’m not sad, I just don’t feel much any more.’

‘I realised you were never going to stop trying to become this imaginary version of yourself where you’re happy because you’re rich or signed to a big label or something huge like that. Even when things did go well, you were never happy because it wasn’t like this ultimate fantasy you already made up in your head.’

‘Women change for everyone. Men just don’t notice.’

Are You Happy Now The Newest Novel from the Bestselling Author of the Last. for Fans of Emily John St. Mandel, Sally Rooney and Patricia Lockwood

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